Saturday, December 02, 2017

rose: it was my turn to sleep in this morning, which is a rose in itself. but my favourite part was waking up to find my two sons wearing their capes and playing together in their bedroom :) seeing their blossoming relationship is so so so special.

thorn: we went to the fat goose sale today, and i didn't find anything to buy. i was disappointed, because i like to support local artists. but i find there just isn't a great price range. it's unusual to find something (that's not tiny) for less than $10, and i simply don't go to these things prepared to spend over $100.

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

rose: lately i've changed my approach to dishes. since eamon was about 20 months old, we've been making him carry his own dishes to the counter. i'd discovered that he did that at daycare, so i knew he was capable of doing it at home too. but last week, i decided it was time for him (and brendan) to start putting their own dishes in the dishwasher. it's made a huge difference. after that stuff is done, there's hardly any dishes left for me to do. it's really great.

thorn: up until last week, i was really enjoying having the doors open at next, or having them unlocked while i worked there, with a sign saying "you're welcome to come in". then one day, a man came in to meet up with someone, but she wasn't there yet, so he just waited for a half hour. he seemed harmless, but my imagination wandered to how he could potentially harm me while no one else was there. i shared that with brendan, who lectured me about how i need to not be naive about that. i got mad because he was mansplaining at me about the vulnerabilities of being a woman. he later recognized that too. anyway, since then, i have been more reluctant about putting myself in that position, and that's really disappointing to me. i hate that that's how life is for women.

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

rose: this afternoon, the after school kids spent our time together drawing themselves as superheros. they each picked what superpower they would want, and then designed what they'd look like. they cooperated really well, helping each other and sharing pencil-crayons. it was really nice. i've been noticing lately that éamon is less energized by being together as a group, and a little more calm. i'm enjoying us getting into routine and establishing norms.

thorn: after several nights of sleeping straight through, otis had a terrible night sleep last night, and cried for the better part of 2 hours without anything we could do to comfort him.

Monday, November 27, 2017

roses:
• having a normal fight-free day with b doing our christmas shopping
• getting a little bit of web design done (just enough to be productive, and not enough for it to be time-consuming)
• spending time with otis
• éamon developing relationships at school
• getting to watch a movie while i ate lunch
• making snowflakes with the after school kids
• éamon and otis breaking my plant pot and hilariously trying to hide it (#brotherantics)
• having no significant/noteworthy thorns

Sunday, November 26, 2017

thorn: my stomach has been in knots all day. my freelance-related knots have been exacerbated by the relationship-conflict cause by said freelance work.

rose: otis.

Saturday, November 25, 2017

rose: i always enjoy PA days, because of the break from our regular routine. i took eamon to do his christmas shopping this morning. AND he graduated from a car seat to a booster seat. i'm really loving that he can unbuckle it himself when it's time to get out. getting kids in and out of carseats is draining.

thorn: i'm experiencing some hurdles with this website i'm making. mostly on the logging in side of things. also, i realized that i needed to get started on the calendar i make for our parents every year. i enjoy doing it, but i do find myself questioning this task i've given myself. especially while i stay up late working on it and brendan is sleeping in the bed behind me. it's not his fault. there's no way i'd relinquish this design project to him. but i don't know how to even things out. christmas seems to exacerbate the gender-roles divide.

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

i forget most of the time all the little (and big) things i have in common with my dad. growing up through my teen years with my mom and sister (who are very alike in a lot of ways), i often felt different from them, and steadily felt weird or less than. they are both naturally tidy. they do weekly chores with dedication. this week at sunday lunch, we spoke at depth about my mom buying an expensive vacuum. i assumed that joy would tell her that it was too expensive for her budget, but instead she encouraged my mom to buy it because it was a very good vacuum. eventually, i had to say "i am not the right person to be talking to about this, because i don't vacuum very often". now that we have carpet downstairs, i vacuum once a week for roughly 10 minutes. joy vacuums every week for TWO hours. so having a good vacuum is worth every penny. their houses are guest-ready all the time. mine is not. it does make me feel like i'm failing, even though it's not something i value.

on the other hand... my dad is messy, but knows where to find things in his mess. he priorities cleaning/house work similar to i do (but probably slightly less because of social gender norms around house work), in a relaxed and optional manner.

tonight, we both attended a meeting at mbes tonight with my city councilor. i wasn't sure if he would stay the whole time, since it wasn't his district, but he did. he sat with the same posture as i did. we have much of the same quirks. brendan often says that "george will never die, as long as you're around". thankfully he finds my dad amusing, as well as wily and agile.

i'm very grateful to have been able to get to know my dad better as an adult. it helps me remember my place in my family, and not feel like an odd one out.