highlights from 2014

- this was a year of roadtrips... north bay, philadelphia, cahoots festival, ottawa, quebec city, victoria harbour, and ottawa again.

- this was a year of transitions... back to work, éamon to daycare, brendan getting laid off, brendan looking for work, brendan finding a job (or two?).

- this was a year of taking it easy and learning to be present at home... declining commitments, using my evenings productively, allowing myself to not feel guilty about resting, transitioning into a parent of a toddler.

- this was a year of intention... mindfully making plans with friends, going to bed early, getting babysitters (family, friends and a teenager) so brendan and i could go out and not miss out on stuff.

- this was a year of new favourite things... loose-leaf tea, long walks, swimming lessons, making soup, cbc radio, baking for pleasure and naps.

this was a year of new experiences (good and bad) that has marinated me and brought out hidden abilities, desires and character i didn't know was lurking under the surface. i know i'm different, more aged and experienced than i used to be, and i feel pretty comfortable about who i am at 35.

knots

after being on the job market for four months, b was offered a job and accepted it. he's supposed to start on monday, except... today he was called to interview for a job he applied for before the other job offer at his ideal social service agency in town. ugh. why does life throw these curve balls?!?!

i thought this might happen. aye-yi-yi...

glebe

we took a roadtrip to ottawa today for a few errands. while we were there, brendan wanted to visit this guitar shop he'd heard about. éamon had just fallen asleep for his afternoon nap, so i had to stay in the car while brendan went in the store. which was too bad since i like watching brendan nerd out about guitars, but i was content to stay put. 25 minutes or more passed before brendan returned. he was utterly glowing and was so enamored that he couldn't speak for at least 15 minutes. i knew that something significant had just happened in that store – it made the highlight of my day (buying a new slipcover for my couch) seem VERY bland indeed.

women & women first

"She turned to literature. She looked for books about adolescents, books she could find herself and her problems in. There were none. She read every thin, saccharine "girl's book" she could find, and gave up. She began to read trashy novels, anything she could find in the library that looked as if it were about women."
- The Women's Room

lately, i've felt a strong desire to read books about female protagonists. books about women. ideally books about women that are not romances. basically books that i can relate to. books with storylines that i can connect with. i've been surprised to discover that i've already gobbled up many of the "top" books about women – i thought i'd only scratched the surface. i'm honestly shocked to find that were aren't a ton of books about women. half the population are women. half of authors are women. why can't i go into any book store and easily find half the books about women. it's disappointing and frustrating.

i came across a list of the top ten books that "changed how we feel about being a woman" and discovered The Women's Room. i downloaded the preview before i decided to buy it. i was starting to get into it when i came across the above segment. it seems i'm not the first person to crave books about women.

triumph

for several weeks now, we've been trying to fix our toilet seat. it was loose and when brendan tried to tighten it, he found that the screwed had become rusty. soon the screws were stripped and we tried a half-dozen things to get those damn nuts off. nothing worked. it really irritated my mind, knowing there was this small task that i couldn't accomplish and move on from. very annoying. BUT, thank goodness, tonight we got it off. we bought a keyhole hacksaw and took turns hacking away at it. i feel oddly relieved and very satisfied to have that annoyance behind me. we have one mighty sturdy toilet seat now!

boxing day

i'm not a naturally organized person, and i'm not compelled to create order from chaos, but sorting out gifts (swopping out existing stuff with new stuff) and unpacking our duffel bag this afternoon, felt good. i probably set a personal record for prompt organization (i often continue to live out of a suitcase for several weeks after returning home).

xmas day

i'm so very grateful for my extended family. we have a sleepover together every year and it fills our love-tanks and gives us memories of quality time together. sometime i'll be especially thankful for down the road when my nieces and nephews are bigger.

xmas eve

to conclude a day of carrot soup, lego board games, gifts, cousins playing together and carols... éamon pooped in the tub.

AND I'M BACK...

beckie and i were out today doing some downtown errands and drinking hot beverages. while we were out, i came across a 5-year diary that left enough space for a couple sentences about each day. i thought "that's great! i'd love to do that". i like having a record of what i did each day. i considered buying it for a minute or two, then i realized... I HAVE A BLOG! duh!

so i'm going to change the format of my blog (which is clearly unsustainable in it's past format), to a quick, simple, daily approach. unless there's something i have a lot to say about.

--

so to get the ball rolling....
i bought éamon a toddler-sized broom today and he loves it :) maybe it create positive associations with household chores.

thrones

i don't know if its the season, the weather, the fact that i'm drawing close to vacation time or because i haven't been outside much lately, but i've been feeling quite anxious. i'm also feeling unsettled in my heart about current conversations at next.

in november, eamon's moved up to the toddler room at daycare, which means we have a more flexible daycare schedule. he now goes 4 days a week and goes to my mom's on wednesday mornings. i bring him with me when i leave at 6:30. i take him straight out of bed, put him in his snowsuit and pop him in the car. when we get to my mom's, she feeds him breakfast and gives him a bath in her bathtub (this is a treat since we don't have a bathtub at home). i work til 11, then pick him up on my way home. it's a nice new system. it also gives me a chance to have a visit with my mom and sometimes i stay for lunch. i'm really thankful that they get this time together, i think it's special for both of them.

brendan had a job interview on friday, and afterwards felt really pumped about it. he clearly really connected with the interviewers. they checked his references on monday and called him on tuesday to give him good news and bad news. the bad news was that they weren't going to offer him the job, but the good news was that they'd like to give him a different job. they'd like to give him a more challenging job with more responsibility, plus it's regular 9-5 weekday hours. basically, they think he's over qualified for the job he applied for, and said they are not accustomed to getting such a high caliber candidate for that type of job. the only problem is that there isn't a position open right now. so they'll keep his resume and be in touch when they're hiring for this other department. i have mixed feelings because it's wonderful news that they thought he was so amazing and that there's a possible opportunity, BUT at the same time, it might not turn into anything. i think they're equally frustrated because they're worried he's going to get snapped up by another agency in the meantime. the funny thing is that these other agencies don't even consider him because he doesn't have a degree, which is why he's forced to apply for jobs at the bottom of the social work ladder. he's very smart, he's very socially-aware, he's very experienced (compared to his contemporaries), he's very skilled. i think all these agencies who are screening him out are stupid for missing out on a good candidate.

maybe this is also affecting my anxiousness. or maybe it's just PMS. for a while after eamon was born, i didn't get PMS, but i think it's slowly creeping back.

man, i need to do something to interrupt this funk.

if i stay here, trouble will find me.