sights

we went for a free swim over at the water park today. it was super refreshing and because it was free i didn't feel badly for not staying for very long.

we're going to see another two houses this week. one of them is a little small, and the other is a little far north. too bad the bigger house isn't where the smaller house is. i'm trying to not to get ahead of myself. which is tricky because buying a house involves some envisioning your life there. apparently there are a few other interested buyers, so i might not work out. OR their realtor might be embellishing to apply some pressure.

it's now been 5 days since eamon nursed. when today, he had opportunities when i thought he'd ask and didn't. as brendan said, "he does have a short memory. maybe he's forgotten already".

sippy cup

after realizing that i didn't nurse éamon for two consecutive days, i decided we were on a roll and to keep it up. so when he woke up from his nap this afternoon and would've normally nursed, we distracted him by going to the park. tomorrow is gonna be tricky because he'll be expecting to nurse when he gets home from daycare. but we've now gone three full days, so we're making progress. i think we're both ready. i wanted to wean him around 2 years, and he turns two in 13 days. he still loves nursing, but usually loses interest and walks off. i think he mostly just likes having the option to nurse, because that kid is all about keeping his options open.

i'm sure if i allow myself to think a lot about this end of an era, i'd get sad. but it's a really positive milestone and i don't think i'll have regrets because 2 years is a good long run. i loved, loved, loved nursing him in the wee hours of the morning when he was a little tiny baby. but we've grown past that now, and we're moving into a new chapter. weaning, potty training, soon a big boy bed!

#myfavourite

this afternoon i lied (laid?) on my bed reading in our quiet house while a breeze gently blew the curtains.

rose-coloured

i've been thinking a lot about asbestos and life decisions. forgive me if i've said this already, but i found that my desire for that particular house was colouring my judgement and i could've easily decided to buy that house despite the asbestos, and then later lived to regret it. someone told me recently "we choose our own reality" and i think that's true. i could've picked the cancer-causing house, and then been sad and sick because of it. i don't fully trust my judgement because i know how quickly i'm willing to abandon what i really what (a smallish mortgage, a large yard and finished basement) for something pretty or available.

this will probably be a collection of random thoughts

i've been feeling pretty wiped lately. just haven't had the chance to get on top of things and to feel at rest. so i'm glad that brendan was working this evening because it gave me the chance to do some stuff around the house and have some alone time.

one of the reasons i'm glad we're staying put for a while, is because that when i think something is temporary i'm more inclined to put up with stuff or not deal with things. even when there is no end in sight, i convince myself taking care of my surroundings are less important.

i made fried rice for dinner tonight. i had no idea what to make for supper, but had decided not to make what i'd originally planned. i was so pleased with myself when i had the idea to make fried rice and even extra pleased when i had ALL the ingredients already. including 3 cups of rice. it was good to use up food that may have otherwise gone to waste. i feel like i'm only just starting to get better at not wasting food. we saw a commercial in the UK about how the average person throws out a third of their groceries. i was shocked by that, but also convicted that i frequently let things go bad, then throw it out.

lately i've been feeling more comfortable in my body. i think that's because i'm eating better and exercising at lunch on work days. i feel like i'm getting stronger and notice a difference when i lift my bike. for some reason, i decided to weigh myself, just to check up on that. the dumb thing is that i KNOW i've gained muscle, but i decided to weigh myself anyway. as predicted, i was 175. i have consistently weighed 175 since eamon was born. sometimes i've lost weight, down to 165 at the lowest, but i always bounces back to 175. that said, this morning i didn't let that bother me. i know i'm a different shape since 2 years ago, and i know my arms and legs at least are stronger. so i'm just going to accept that the weigh-scale is a poor judge of these things

over and out. i'm falling asleep as i type.

hold

i've felt really torn about this whole asbestos thing. on one hand, there are people saying "it's no big deal as long as it's not disturbed". and on the other hand, people in the realty business saying "there's no way of knowing if it's spread into the walls and ceiling. plus, it will affect the resale value". we're landing somewhere in the middle with "it doesn't have to be a big deal, but if we have the option to find a house that doesn't have asbestos in it, that's better". we know we won't regret not buying a house with asbestos in it. i really loved that house and i was so excited to live there, but i know that could affect my judgement and cause me to compromise on something i'd regret. it's the sort of thing that if we found out after we'd moved in, than we'd manage it safely, but it's if we can avoid it that's better.

it's weird that i feel a need to defend this choice, because it's really doesn't affect anyone else.

i had a bit of a cry after we confirmed with our realtor that we were not proceeding. but there's always another house. i like watching the house market and there are always houses coming up. it's just the sort of thing that when you're looking nothing's available. i know that someday we'll find another house that we'll love and think "i'm so glad we didn't buy that other one". 

crumble

it's funny how life repeats itself.

10 years ago i bought a house, and then didn't go through with it after the home inspection. http://saintdynamite.blogspot.ca/2005/12/hit.html

this afternoon, we had a home inspection on the house we'd bought, only to find it has asbestos in the attic. after talking with the home inspector, he said he would not buy that house in it's current condition, but if it was fixed it would be ok, we decided to ask them to remove the asbestos and install new insulation. seems reasonable, right? but the home owner seems incredibly stubborn and foolish, and is only willing to pay for 1 single test (we were told that even 3 tests couldn't guarantee that it was asbestos free), and even so that insulation needs to be removed because it's not up to code. so it looks like we're back on the house market. what a dummy. no one is going to buy that house. the danger and risk is too serious.

it's sucky because we really liked that house and the timing seemed good for renting this place out in september. a friend had connected me with a new faculty member at queen's who was looking to rent. so that will fall through too. BUT there's always another house. we'll just have to wait.

buzzkill

we spent a nice and enjoyable weekend at echo lake camp with many nexters, but not all. it was a nice pace and i was pleasantly surprised that i was not run ragged by my toddler. however, upon returning home i did feel rather overwhelmed by the mess i'd created by rushing to pack before heading out of town. so i set to work and got everything set in order. in fact, i've NEVER unpacked a suitcase the same day i returned home before.

rochester

well... my partner left the country for the evening and i'm at home feeling pretty tired. instead of doing something productive or good for my brain, i think i'll just watch some tv shows and laze around on my bed.

haggle

someone reminded me the other day that change often comes all at once. and it definitely seems we're in the middle of a change in seasons.

we put an offer in on a house yesterday and after some negotiation, the seller accepted our offer. so now we just need to complete our conditions and it's a done deal.

said house is up in kingscourt on hillcrest avenue. we're very happy. we really like that neighbourhood. it's a well-designed residential area still close to downtown, friends, amenities, bus routes, etc.

there's part of me that will miss this neighbourhood. but there's another part of me that's excited about being in a different place, and the opportunity expand my circle. i think it will be good for me to be further afield so my world doesn't grow too small or become navel gazing.

the house itself is lovely and i think it will suit us very well. it's more than double our current living space, which i suppose isn't saying much. it feels like our adult home for some reason. that's what comes to mind when i think of it.

moving day will be august 15!

continued

well... i talked to the vet today, and i feel a lot better.

he assured me that pekoe is in the care of a loving person and is not showing any signs of distress. he's very friendly and happy (as usual). so that's good.

also, he's going to talk to the animal hospital manager so we can be reimbursed for our euthanization payment, since that didn't actually take place.

i feel relieved. i didn't want pekoe to be put down, but he was much more special needs than we could handle and we didn't know how to find a suitable new owner.

as the saying goes... all's well that ends well.

and then there was one...

it feels as though since we got home from our trip to the UK things have not been going well. we keep getting hit by difficult things. most times expensive.

today, after several years of sickness and the stress of us trying to pre-empt pekoe from peeing all over the house, we finally decided it was time to put him down. except, the vet didn't want to do that. at this point we actually have no idea if he did it or not, but we know that he charged us way more than he should have. especially for not doing anything. so i'm going to call tomorrow to 1) complain, 2) find out if they actually put him down, 3) dispute the charges, and 4) complain again.

i also feel like brendan and i could really use a win. just something that would relieve some of pressure we've been feeling. like emotional or financial blood-letting or something.

green

lately brendan has been going to bed at the same time as me. i like it. last night, i was in bed before he arrived home from work, but was restless and still wasn't sleeping by the time he turned in. i like lying in the dark side by side talking.

lately eamon and i have been eating watermelon together. it's currently one of my favourite activities with him. i think it appeals to me because we sit together enjoying the same thing as equals. two people who like watermelon.

on fire

i've been doing this new thing where i only allow myself treats or less healthy snacks on weekends, and i'm liking it. this isn't a weight loss initiative, largely because i'm done with temporary weight loss efforts that get temporary results. instead, i want to change my approach to food.

maybe i'm a bit slow to figure this out, but some of the healthiest people i know are also those with the most simple and nutritious eating habits. and i realized... i should really change direction. change the sorts of things i'm eating.

i'm not blaming my parents (my mom is a very moderate eater and can eat only a bite of a halloween-sized chocolate bar each day so it lasts a week), but i grew up in the 80s, when kool-aid was king. my afterschool snacks consisted of red licorice and jumbo marshmellows. so i'm re-training my palette and changing my thinking about snacks. BUT not cutting myself off completely from tastey treats, or else i'd be doomed to fail. 

10 things i hate right now

• that brendan's pedals got stolen

• that éamon got bit at daycare and it broke the skin and bled a lot (and that he now needs antibotics)

• that the nurses at hotel dieu were rude to me

• that the children's urgent care centre closes at 3:45 (i either had to wait at the urgent care centre for several hours or take him to my family doctor tomorrow)

• that the dish rack is full

• that social media blabbed all the major plot info about the game of thrones finale (that i'm watching with b later tonight)

• that my friends are going through a hard time right now

• that my replacement necklace arrived today, but i wasn't home so it's at the post office and i can't pick it up til tomorrow afternoon

• that i breathed in gross city stink on the way home from HDH

• that my cat is using our front foyer as a litter box

quiet

lately i've been in a bit of a weird situation. i get up at 5:30 every morning for work AND my husband works til 11 pm every other week. but people keep inviting me out to events on weeknights.

i can't quite figure out if it's a courtesy invite (they know i can't come but they don't want to exclude me) or if they actually expect me to go out. are they're forgetting that i have several responsibilities that keep me in at night. or do they think i should still be able to go and i just need to find a sitter.

it's tricky because i like the slow pace of my life these days. all these invitations make me feel like i'm supposed to be wanting something different, but i don't. i kind of wish people wouldn't invite me because at least i'd feel like they'd understand my situation (it's mostly the early mornings. the working co-parents is a factor, but i'd find a sitter if it wasn't a going to be past my bedtime). but at the same time, there might be events that i'm available for and i don't want to miss those.

boooo. hisssss.

one thing i hate about the internet is the people who purposely give spoilers for tv shows and movies. brendan and i love game of thrones, and some guy hinted on a facebook friend's status about something major that happened in yesterday's season finale. brendan and i aren't able to watch it until tomorrow, so i commented saying "not everyone has seen it yet. i hope that's not a plot spoiler", and the guy replied and saying flat out what happened. i don't even know that guy. why would someone do that!?!?!

it was a real jerk move.

whoops

today i was cutting a banana in half for éamon and ended up slicing right into my index finger.

twit

i know that couples have weird fights sometimes. it comes with the territory. i have to say that i never thought brendan and i would have a heated debate about aaron carter and coffee way donuts.

to clarify, i actually mean aaron carter AND coffee way donuts. they were not two separate arguments.

crazy glue

brendan bought me some earrings on etsy a couple of years ago. technically they're ear pins and they look like feathers. i love them, because i have a bit of a thing for feathers. i find them really delicate and feminine, but also kind of bold and empowering.

sadly, one has broken slightly. the thing i've noticed lately about my favourite things is that they tend to break more frequently from regular use. i contacted the woman who offered to fix them for free or i can buy new ones. i don't know what to do because i don't want to be without them, but i also don't want an unnecessary extra set. sometimes i don't like making trivial decisions.