ok

one of the hardest parts of planning a wedding is enduring all the unsolicited advise from well meaning folks. sometimes from pure strangers. sometimes from loving family members. this afternoon i had a heated conversation with my mom. she is rather put off that i have not needed any advise, nor have i sought her input on wedding details. the problem is a difference in perspective and a difference of expectation. i've been seeking to include and inform her (along with many other people) to the best of my ability, but the need for help in decision making is pretty non-existent. brendan and i are really getting into the swing of things, and are working together as a well-oiled machine (which i consider a good sign). because this is going to be a simple and simplified wedding, it's pretty easy to organize ourselves. at the appropriate time, and in the appropriate ways we are seeking help from others. i have no qualms about asking for help. what really came to the surface during my conversation with my mom is that i don't see this wedding as a democracy. it's brendan and my wedding, it is important that WE agree on all the details. we value other people's input, but we are ultimately the ones who decide on the end product. it's a wedding. a party. a celebration. i don't see what the big deal is – why so many people want to throw their opinion into the mix. it's hard. it's hard because it's relational. i don't want to hurt others, but we don't want our wedding to be anything we're not. i don't know if it's right or wrong. my mom accused me of being controlling, but i disagree with her, this is not a community event. it's not a democracy where everyone get's their say and all their votes are equal. it's our wedding. we are going to do it our way. it will be a reflection of who we are. i hope that our guests will enjoy it and have a fun time, but we're not aiming to please everyone – that's simply not possible.

brendan is totally passed out sleeping on my bed right now. i can hear his heavy breathing. for me, that's what the wedding is all about. i'm signing up for a lifetime of that. it's the days, weeks, months and years, after the wedding that's important. i don't really care about the actually day, i just want it to be simple, and in our style.

in other news... bren and i went to the potter's guild sale yesterday. she didn't find much that tickled her fancy, and there wasn't a lot that appealed to me either. BUT i did end up finding a vase that i really like by my favourite kingston potter. i'm super predictable when it comes to her things, i just love them. the neat thing is that they let me keep the flowers that were in it! that was a fun bonus that look great in my kitchen :D

your body has been honest
but here again it lies.