i taught brendan to sew a few evenings ago. actually, this was his second sewing lesson. even though i taught him once before he'd forgotten everything and we had to start from square one. he has a pair of pants that's seams unravel from time to time. it's a very easy repair job, and is the perfect opportunity for teaching a life skill.
i don't believe in gender roles. maybe it's because i was raised in a home where my dad could cook and my mom could not. maybe it's because i spent my teens in a single-parent home and had to tackle all the husband responsibilities. maybe it's because i was single for the majority of my twenties, living alone having to fill all household tasks myself. maybe it's my strong willed nature and my desire to be fully capable even if i don't need to be. regardless, there has been no gender distinction in the lorimer bedroom project.
from day one, brendan and i have not fit many/major gender stereotypes. with me being just shy of a decade older than him, it's nearly impossible for our relationship to follow predefined paths. when we were first married i worked full time while he maintained our home. he's a great cook, he's much tidier than me, he enjoys vacuuming. i taught him about car repairs, oil changes, and how to drive stick. it's like cross-training. i think this makes us well rounded, and stronger both together and as individuals.
so when it became clear that his pants were in need of some attention it just seemed natural to teach him how to sew instead of sewing for him. there's no reason why a grown adult shouldn't be able to sew their own pants as long as their fingers all work properly. obviously i would not flat-out refuse, and i'm sure there will be occassions when he'll need my help mending clothing, and i'd help him out for sake of time, etc. i'm not opposed to nurturing him or taking care of him, but it usually manifests in different ways. i help him out with details and plans that he forgets or overlooks. i pick him up special treats when i grocery shop that i know he'll enjoy. i pick him up at work instead of him taking the bus. i print him out directions to venues when he's performing out of town and write him little notes in the comments box. but when it comes to sewing i prefer to give him a life skill instead of giving him a repair job. i very much ascribe to the "catch a person to fish and you will feed them for a day. teach a person to fish and you will feed them for a lifetime" philosophy.
so he got out a needle and thread and set to work. it was tricky. his fingers are big and somewhat bulky. when he struggled i encouraged him that it he's able to play strings on a guitar he can manage a sewing needle. sometimes my teaching methods hindered more than helped. sewing is so easy to me that i would show him once and expect him to know how to tie a knot at the end of the thread. i'll try to take it more slowly on our inevitable third sewing lesson. in the end he stitched up that seam and felt rather pleased with himself. i'm proud of him :)
i don't believe in gender roles. maybe it's because i was raised in a home where my dad could cook and my mom could not. maybe it's because i spent my teens in a single-parent home and had to tackle all the husband responsibilities. maybe it's because i was single for the majority of my twenties, living alone having to fill all household tasks myself. maybe it's my strong willed nature and my desire to be fully capable even if i don't need to be. regardless, there has been no gender distinction in the lorimer bedroom project.
from day one, brendan and i have not fit many/major gender stereotypes. with me being just shy of a decade older than him, it's nearly impossible for our relationship to follow predefined paths. when we were first married i worked full time while he maintained our home. he's a great cook, he's much tidier than me, he enjoys vacuuming. i taught him about car repairs, oil changes, and how to drive stick. it's like cross-training. i think this makes us well rounded, and stronger both together and as individuals.
so when it became clear that his pants were in need of some attention it just seemed natural to teach him how to sew instead of sewing for him. there's no reason why a grown adult shouldn't be able to sew their own pants as long as their fingers all work properly. obviously i would not flat-out refuse, and i'm sure there will be occassions when he'll need my help mending clothing, and i'd help him out for sake of time, etc. i'm not opposed to nurturing him or taking care of him, but it usually manifests in different ways. i help him out with details and plans that he forgets or overlooks. i pick him up special treats when i grocery shop that i know he'll enjoy. i pick him up at work instead of him taking the bus. i print him out directions to venues when he's performing out of town and write him little notes in the comments box. but when it comes to sewing i prefer to give him a life skill instead of giving him a repair job. i very much ascribe to the "catch a person to fish and you will feed them for a day. teach a person to fish and you will feed them for a lifetime" philosophy.
so he got out a needle and thread and set to work. it was tricky. his fingers are big and somewhat bulky. when he struggled i encouraged him that it he's able to play strings on a guitar he can manage a sewing needle. sometimes my teaching methods hindered more than helped. sewing is so easy to me that i would show him once and expect him to know how to tie a knot at the end of the thread. i'll try to take it more slowly on our inevitable third sewing lesson. in the end he stitched up that seam and felt rather pleased with himself. i'm proud of him :)
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