it's occured to me that in the month that we've lived at the exile i've been alone in it for approximately a collective 1 to 2 hours. this is very strange for me. when i'm alone there it feels different. i feel so unaquainted with it. but when brendan comes home it feels normal and familiar again. i kind of don't like that. it feels like those friendships when you have this really tight circle of friendship with two other people, but then one day the one friend isn't there and it's just you and the other person and things feel awkward and you don't know what to say. that's how i feel with my house. i love it. i really totally do. but i think i need to have some one-on-one time. we need alone time to bond. and you know, i suspect after getting past the initial shyness we'd probably hit our stride and everything would be great and familiar again. i just never get alone time there so i don't know how that would happen.
tomorrow i'm painting the den. it's going to be this cold purple colour. one could even go so far as to call it a gray-purple. it's very new for me to go that direction so i'm curious about how it will turn out. and if i'll have enough paint. it's about the same size as the bedroom (if you omit the wall with the closet) and that only took two coats and used half the can. i'm hoping 3 coats will be enough. fingers crossed! brendan is not thrilled because the den is a pretty well used room and it means 1) being kicked out of it for 24 hours and 2) it means packing stuff up and 3) it means the rest of the house will be in chaos while all it's contents are elsewhere.
i've been listening to the brothers karamazov in audio format. i'm looking forward to painting while listening to it again. i'm really enjoying it. it's a pretty amazing story, very challenging.
tomorrow i'm painting the den. it's going to be this cold purple colour. one could even go so far as to call it a gray-purple. it's very new for me to go that direction so i'm curious about how it will turn out. and if i'll have enough paint. it's about the same size as the bedroom (if you omit the wall with the closet) and that only took two coats and used half the can. i'm hoping 3 coats will be enough. fingers crossed! brendan is not thrilled because the den is a pretty well used room and it means 1) being kicked out of it for 24 hours and 2) it means packing stuff up and 3) it means the rest of the house will be in chaos while all it's contents are elsewhere.
i've been listening to the brothers karamazov in audio format. i'm looking forward to painting while listening to it again. i'm really enjoying it. it's a pretty amazing story, very challenging.
i had two meaningful conversations with family members this week. i left feeling like i was able to be my true self in those discussions more than any other time. i felt like i do when i talk to you. i was able to escape the lesley i turn into in their presence and just be me. that was a big step forward.
4 comments:
I'm looking forward to seeing your house all painted and unpacked the next time I'm in Kingston. Yes, I am inviting myself over.
you're ALWAYS invited over.
when do you get here again?
I'll be there February 26th, for a month.
You need to kick Brendan out for a weekend now and then!
I'm very glad to hear about your conversations with your family. It is so draining not to be able to be your true self and I'm happy you felt you were able to.
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