btw

last night my nose-ring broke off in the night. i'm not exactly sure what happened. i just know that my nose felt itchy at 1:30 and in my sleepy state i scratched it and the hoop came off in my hand. so in the night, i tried to find the original stud to put in, but it didn't fit. so my nose is empty for the first time since 2006. i don't really like it, and i feel kind of embarrassed to be seen without it. the same kind of embarrassment one feels when they think they have stuff stuck in their teeth. hopefully i can pick up a new hoop soon, but strangely enough, i realized all the stores i'd usually go to for that kind of thing have all moved out of the downtown area or closed. i'm going to try very shari at its new location, but shari died recently and i'm not sure if its still open. otherwise i'll have to try etsy. i hope it doesn't grow over (like last time).

i'm someone who listens to the same song on repeat if i really like it. last week i discovered a new song by hayden and have been listening to it on repeat ever since. this morning at work, i thought "maybe i should just listen to cbc music sonica again, and be done with this song", but after listening to cbc radio 2 for about two songs, my current song came on the air! i thought "who am i kidding" and am back to listening to it on continuous play again.  

hoyt

it's been an eventful weekend.

1) brendan was laid off from his job effective immediately on friday morning. the program he runs is closing at the end of december, and we were expecting him to get laid off then. BUT because they've been feeding such high numbers of people, they're way over budget and couldn't afford to keep him on staff til the end of the year. in some ways, it wasn't a shock, but the termination itself was poorly executed and unsettling.

2) on thursday evening, i decided i wanted to cut my hair. after b got let go, i decided to take the afternoon off. so after he and i'd chatted, i left him to process stuff and went to get my hair chopped. afterwards, i sent my hair off in the mail for cancer. i really like my new do. it's a nice fresh change. it's also more full and manageable.

3) shannon invited us to join them at her parents place this weekend for her birthday. we'd never been to that part of ontario before, and we had a nice time getting to know shannon's family. it was also fun hanging out with a+s for the whole weekend. the timing was also really good since it distracted us from out latest lift-change and gave us something to focus on instead of our worries and concerns (i'm mostly anxious about éamon's daycare – everything else will work out just fine. i don't want to pay for and keep him in full time since we don't need to, but don't want to pull him out in case a new job opportunity comes up quickly – it's so hard to know the right thing to do).

anyways, that's everything from me.

Fwd: expertise

(i actually wrote this on friday, but didn't get around to posting it)

--

oh man!
a few mornings ago, i woke up with the name 'jill dempsey' repeating in my head. i don't know if this ever happens to you, but sometimes a name or a word will get stuck in my head like a song. the thing that confused me about this is that i don't know anyone by the name jill dempsey. i was really puzzled by it, but later forgot about it as the day got going. however... i was just listening to the news, and the news reporter just said "hello, i'm jill dempsey". so mystery solved! haha.

tomorrow we're having a garage sale. i've never had a for-profit garage sale before, and i really don't know how much to expect. thankfully, we're doing it more to get rid of stuff, and not because we need the cash for something. i'd kind of like to make $100, but that's probably overly ambitious. our most valuable item is my dad's old road racing bike, but i'm going to give him the money for that. thankfully, the weather is looking good, which will make hanging out outside with our stuff more fun, AND we're more likely to have a larger group of customers.

i'd also, we bought a storm door that i'd like to install on the kitchen door, and i'm hoping to get to that together. but it seems that éamon is afraid of the sound of the drill, similarly to how he's afraid of the sound of the vacuum (he didn't used to be, this is a relatively new development). i'm not exactly sure how we'll be able to install the door while keeping the baby from panicking. i have to admit, he's pretty cute when he's scared of something. he tries to bum scoot away as fast as he can, which again, is super cute.

enough

today was just one of those days when everything seems to go badly. not everything, just things that matter to me. i wish i could start over and do things differently. when spare time is limited, it's hard to not get upset when it gets wasted because of poor planning and poor communication (both on my part). i guess i'll just have to get used to the fact that not every wednesday afternoon is going to be a 'win'.

if you'll excuse me... i'm going to go to bed and hopefully i'll wake up in a better mood tomorrow.

Fwd: considering

after 4 weeks back at work, i can confidently say things are going well. i'm adjusting to my new routine, i'm enjoying my work, i like my new workstation, and éamon's doing well at daycare. he didn't cry at pick-up at all this week. i really like it when i arrive and he's playing well independently.

but i do have one problem. my new workstation is in a different part of the building (it's literally 50ft from my old spot, but it actually makes a significant difference), and i don't really know any of my neighbours (other than being acquainted). i'm a good conversationalist, but i am shy, especially when i have no reason to break the ice. actually... i'm shy AND independent, which means that i literally have no reason to interact with the people around me. they're in different departments than me. we work in parallel to one another, but never work together. i can go hours without speaking to anyone in person (my team is all in europe). i find myself in a bit of a funny situation, because i like having my freedom to do my own thing and i REALLY like not being interrupted. BUT i know that if i stay on this trajectory, that i'll increasingly invisible, and i'll start to feel lonely. i'm pretty sure that there are some around me that don't quite know what to think of this random person in their midst. in the past, when i've been friendly with people outside my department, it's been when they're very outgoing and break the ice with me. but unfortunately... two of those people have DIED (ugh! i miss them both!) and another two left the company. so i've decided to start putting myself out there more. to smile and say hello to people. i might even have to forgo listening to music, because i'm sure my headphones are contributing to my isolation.

bah. it's ok, i'll give it time.

on another note... never in my life have i wished for a band to break up and for all their music to be accidentally deleted from every source. until now. when i was pregnant, i listened to 'of monsters and men' and lot, i really liked them. BUT i listened to them while suffering from morning sickness, and now whenever i hear them i get nauseous. yuck! i wish i never had to hear them again.

Fwd: rain

now that i go to bed early (between 10 and 10:30), i'm always surprised that when i wake momentarily in the night, only to discover that it's only 12:30. it's funny because it feels like i've been sleeping for a long time. i've heard several times that every hour of sleep you get before midnight is worth twice as much as an hour after midnight. perhaps this is why i feel pretty well rested, even though i get up at 5:30 each morning.

i've just completed my first full week of work, and it was pretty good. i have wednesday afternoon off, and it LOVED that. i finished at 11 am, so it felt like a normal day off. truth be told, when i was at home on mat leave, my mornings were not particularly productive, so i'm not really missing anything by working that morning (other than sleeping later).

i'm definitely on my way to being fully adjusted to my new life, but poor eamon's having a harder time. he cries a lot when brendan drops him off in the morning, and then cries almost inconsolably when i pick him up in the afternoon. i think he's just so overwhelmed with a range of emotions that it's expressed with tears. i just have to hold him for a while, and usually nurse him for a bit until he settles down and is ok with not being held. i know it will get better, and eventually he'll love going to day care, but it sucks that he has to go through this first. it'll be ok, and it's kind of nice to see that he's so attached to us.