beyond

things are not going particularly well these days.

and by that i mean my ability to cope with inclimate life conditions. i'm really hoping it's the tornado around me, and not just a decrease in my well-being.

i have my very first migraine. i've never had one before. my eyes are sore when i move then, and my head pulses when i move it. i went to bed at 9:30 last night thinking i'd sleep it off, but it was still there in the morning, which was when i started realizing it was a migraine. i've been wearing a cold pack on my head all day, which has helped, but now it's room temperature.

being sick can be super inconvenient, i had things to do today. i really want to be well enough for work tomorrow since i recently had that other sick day. 

i'm finding myself looking forward/wishing we were a few years down the road, and éamon was 6. i feel like the parenting game will really start to change then. he'll be able to sit for longer, and understand why we tell him "no" and not just think we're being jerks. i don't want to wish this age away though. i'm sure that part of parenting is thinking the grass is greener in other stages. i'm just worn out. he is SUCH a busy kid and he's always breaking stuff, or getting into things he shouldn't, or stripping naked in his crib during nap time or having tantrums in public :S

i should balance out myself by saying, he's also very sweet and smart, he has an old soul and loves to play guitar. this morning he took his guitar and sat on the floor against the wall and strummed and sang while i lied immobile on the couch. i can't let myself overlook the easier stuff. it's just, i'm way outside my element right now, and migraines and working full time is making it so much worse.