lows and highs

I've been pretty sick all week. I worked half days on Tuesday and Wednesday, then had all of Thursday off.

(my new computer browser keeps auto-correcting my lowercase letters. so annoying!)

when I woke up today, I was feeling much better and was almost pumped to go into work. but my sensitive stomach got jarred by a speed bump just blocks from my house, and I ended up vomiting out my car door. since then, I feel worse again.

I was a little worried about solo-parenting last night while Brendan was working. but, I was pleasantly surprised by how cuddly eamon was last night, and I enjoyed just sitting close and chatting with him. so in the end, not only did we manage, but we had some quality time together :)

winter sux

I'm coming down with a cold. I haven't had a cold in a long while. I actually can't remember the last one I had. it's kind of crappy timing, because I'm so tired, and Brendan's working evenings all week (thankfully he didn't yesterday, so he took care of eamon while I laid around).

I miss summer. I miss hanging out in our backyard and taking eamon to the park. we'd walk across the field in our barefeet and play in the sand. instead I've been feeling really cooped up in the evening, and I don't feel creative enough to come up with something interesting to do indoors.

i got a date!

yay! i knew i had this thing for a reason :)

i need a date...

deathcab for cutie is coming to the K-ROCK centre in march. brendan doesn't want to go.

now, i know that they're not a great live band because they sound the same as their albums. but it would be a fun outing, and i like their music, so i don't mind just hangout out for the evening listening to their songs.

does anyone want to go with me? the tickets are very reasonably priced (for an arena) and since it's not at a bar we'll be home by 10 (11 at the latest).

oh, and metric is opening for them. granted, i've seen metric a buttload of times, so that's not a huge drawing card for me, maybe that's some added incentive for you?

http://www.rogersk-rockcentre.com/event/metric-death-cab-for-cutie-the-lights-on-the-horizon-tour/

voluntary windy winter walks

yesterday I was feeling super crumby because of the weather, but things are looking up!

both yesterday and today I went outside for a lunchtime walk in the minus 20 and 23 temperature. there is almost no shelter at my office, since it's this wide open space and the wind blows right through from the lake. but I was bundled up and sometimes i shielded my forehead with my mitten. it was mostly super cold when walking into the wind, walking away wasn't so bad. I'm actually really proud of myself and it makes me feel good (both physically from getting the exercise and fresh air, AND mentally). I'm going to try to keep it up. yesterday was beautiful, the sky was bright blue and the snow was so crisp and white. it was very picturesque. today, not so much, but I mostly walked with my face down anyway. it made me consider getting a balaclava.

thoughts on breakfast, continued...

you know how I was trying to change my breakfast habits? well, I've had some success.

while I've settled into eating the same thing every day once again, I'm ok with that. I don't need variety in the morning. I just need something I like that I can depend on.

I've started eating grapefruit with half a piece of toast with jam. I used to eat grapefruit for breakfast, and I don't really know why I stopped! I like grapefruit! yesterday I tracked down a grapefruit spoon. it didn't work super well. I think i'll still need to pre-cut it with a knife, but I think it would work well with that minor adjustment.

winter reset

the weather is really affecting me negatively right now. I feel very un-invigorated and blasé. as a result, I've decided to take a break from screens for the week. I feel like that will help me reconnect with my creative self and find interesting alternative things to do.

a complete screen detox isn't possible since I work on a computer at work, but that will be my only screen time. at home I will be screen free. and even then, I think i'll avoid checking the news or twitter. I feel over saturated by media, and I need to have some breathing room.

yesterday was nice. I worked on my puzzle and listened to cbc all afternoon. it was good and I liked learning new things through the interviews.

today is officially 'blue monday' because people are feeling most impacted by the weather, and their new year's resolutions are slipping. thankfully, I feel my new years resolutions are still on track, and I'm enjoying the positive benefits they are bringing to my life. it's just the dark and the cold that's getting to me. ugh!

in the news

i don't want to jump on the david bowie bandwagon, with everyone commemorating him. but I will say this...

i wouldn't say i considered myself a fan, but i also wasn't not a fan. i liked several of his songs, but didn't know enough of his repertoire to claim the title of a fan. he was an interesting person. i didn't really like the movie labyrinth. BUT, the thing that amazes me about him, is that despite being social weirdo - pushing boundaries that had never been pushed before in pop culture - he is a well-loved and respected musician.

basically, i think he was just super ahead of his time. this is a guy who is just two years younger than my parents, but couldn't be more different to them.

ALSO, nowadays the internet steals many of the "gasp! WHAT?!?!" moments. it's rare to hear things through the grapevine rather than on a computer screen. to date, I've had two good, "WHAT?!?!" moments with Brendan. 1) when i told that jian was fired from the cbc. 2) when david bowie died. b asked "WHAT!?!" about 3 or 4 times before it registered. that was quite satisfying.

connected!

you know... sometimes it's just the small wins.

today i figured out the way around the firewall and can now access twitter and music.cbc.ca at work again!

oh man, i can't tell you what a difference this makes. it's a real game-changer for me. a mental life-saver. both help me feel connected to the world outside the walls of my office. 

i'm so relieved.

i woke up with a sliver in the palm of my hand this morning.

i definitely didn't have it when i went to bed last night. 

SO STRANGE!

it's still there. i can't get it out. my hand is all red and swollen around it.

sticks and pucks

one thing's for certain, kids are not tiny replicas of their parents. 

i know this from first-hand experience (as a kid of a parent), and i know this from observing other parents and kids. so i prepared myself when i was pregnant with eamon, that there was going to be things we differ on. things he'll like that i don't like, opinions and beliefs that he'll have that i don't share. but i always hoped that i would show an interest in his interest and encourage dialogue and room for him to grow beyond my frame of reference.

at 30 months old, this is already starting to happen. whether it is the influence of extended family, or his own independence, but my son has discovered hockey. 

this is extremely strange to me. i did not grow up in a family that watched or liked hockey. i also have never dated a guy who was into hockey and i didn't marry one either. as a complete outsider to the world of hockey, it seems to me that people who like hockey are crazy about it. and that's not something i can understand. that said, i'm sure that there are plenty of people who are moderate in their enjoyment of hockey, they're just less vocal about it then the ones who are hockey-obsessed. 

so this week, i tried to take the high road when allowing eamon to get a book about hockey from the library. hearing him say the words "my hockey" over and over does rub me the wrong way, but that's only because i fear a hockey-obsession. part of me worries (probably like lots of parents over different interests) that if i humour a small interest in this sport, that it will become a life-long vice instead of a light-hearted past-time. 

but in the spirit of letting him be his own person, and trying to be open to the things he will introduce me to, i will try to embrace this interest. it helps that he's also been obsessed with dogs, trucks and buses lately, which probably won't carry over to adulthood. so i need to lighten up and just let him have fun :) fingers crossed it will stay fun and not become a painstaking irrational devotion. 

morning foods

i've decided to get more creative about breakfasts.

when i went back to work in 2014, i decided that i'd get creative with my lunches, and i think it's fair to say that has been a success. unlike in the past, i have not been eating the same thing every day, i haven't just been eating leftovers, and i haven't found my food boring.

breakfast poses a unique challenge – preparing something when i'm tired and rushed. in the past, it was always cereal or toast, for a while there it was just a rice cake. i tried googling ideas for quick, healthy breakfasts, but nothing appealed to me. i've found i don't have the right kind of blender to make good smoothies.

this morning i had a hard boiled egg (pre-boiled yesterday), slices of tomato and a slice of challah bread, which i was pleased with. the only downer was eamon had a melt down yelling "egg, egg!" until i ate it all and there was nothing left to share with him. next time i'll just have to boil more so he can have one too.

i should try to brainstorm tomorrow's breakfast or i'll probably have the same-old, same-old.

i'm not thrilled about going back to work tomorrow. it would help if my computer crisis was corrected, but i don't imagine it will be. but i'm going to try my best to not be miserable or tried.

resolve

well... moving ahead without my AWOL year-end blog entry....

i'm pretty pumped about 2016. i feel ready for change, and feel like it's time for changes in my life. i want to start doing all those things that make me feel better having done them. things that each day, when i crawl into bed, i think about how i didn't do those things yet again, and then feel frustrated with myself. if i want to do them, i should just do them! so i will.

in keeping with that, my new year's resolution is 'completing 1-minute tasks'. anything that will take less than 1 minute to do, should just be done. stuff like putting dishes in the dishwasher instead of on the counter, putting my clothes away after wearing them, stuff like that. i am ridiculously bad at not following through with such tasks.

i've also purchased a better exercise bike, that should arrive on monday. my goal is not necessarily to lose weight, although that would be nice, but to adopt a regular exercise routine that i will do for the rest of my life. i learned to floss every day, so why not exercise regularly? i always wish i did! interestingly enough, 10 days away from work and i'm already eating better. i was eating well when i was on mat leave, but clearly those practices did not last. there's something about work that causes me to eat out of boredom. so i want to fight that habit. no doubt eating better and exercising more will help me feel more comfortable in my body. i would like to be fit, not thin; strong, not skinny. i think i was that earlier this year, but since i haven't been cycling at lunch, i've really gotten soft.

so basically, this is a year about making better choices for myself. and learning to follow through.

what the what?!?

so i just realized that the big, long year-end blog entry that i wrote yesterday did not get published and i can't find it in the drafts either, so i'm SUPER ANNOYED! i wasn't initially in the mood for being reflective, but i decided to get my head in the game, and ended up being really happy with what i wrote. ARGH!

BOOOOOOOOOO

maybe i'll try to re-write it later.

SUCKS!