on our way home from a completely beautiful wedding this weekend (in more ways than one), we stopped at a service station. we'd left eamon in k-town with his nana while we were at the wedding. and were constantly amazed at how much easier just one kid was. we had time and opportunity for conversation. we got to stay out later. really there were lots of reasons. and i found it gave us head space and clarity. so while i was alone in the service station washroom, i thought "my hair would look great with a streak of colour in it", like back in my twenties when i did that kind of thing. and i planned to go pick up some wash-out hair dye later that day. but now that we're home, and juggling two kids again, that notion of self-care or even fun self-expression has fallen to the wayside. which is kind of sucky.

i wouldn't even mind, if it felt like this stage of parenting was slightly more rewarding. we have good moments. like this evening when eamon and i took a walk up the street and back a few times. and while he sat on my lap at the buskers. i also really enjoy having conversations with him. but it's impossible to know when those lovely moments might just explode in my face.

looking forward to tomorrow's bright spots. and optimistic that we'll handle the challenges from a positive angle