shuttle

pmsing is harder now that i have a partner who is effected by the things i say and the attitudes i possess during this time of month. it's odd how cuttingly mean i can be to someone i love so dearly. i'm really tired lately, it's probably connected to my lack of exercise, but i don't have any energy to curb my tongue so he's forced to retreat. i'm not really a fan of myself right now. and i resent how hard life can appear on the wake of easy. it's strange how me being jealous of his free time can make me take it out on him. i wish that wasn't how i handled things.

i have a board meeting in 24 minutes. i feel my tenure winding down, and it's hard to muster any interest in the topics on the agenda. i hope having the house filled with talking and laughter will inspire me and bring me back into the necessary frame of mind. i would be surprised if i cry during the meeting for one reason or another. it wouldn't be the first time i've cried in front of those guys and said "it's ok, i'm just pmsing".

brendan is goodness. he's sunshine and sometimes i feel like a mud-puddle in his shiny life.

the fact that i adore you is but one of my truths.