i've been second guessing myself a lot day and feeling kind of stupid in the process. i've had to change my self-talk in order shake the icky feeling of it. i haven't been able to shake it completely but i'm making progress.
when tim and tracy had their baby micah, i remember tim telling me and shanno how he taught mialana in advance to be gentle with the new baby. he said whenever she was close to his (tim's) face he would tell her "gentle, gentle" and she'd softly pat his cheek or ear. i found this very clever and i liked that it in itself was a very gentle way to correct behaviour. sometimes i get loud and worked up about stuff. brendan has taken to comparing me to a peanuts character who flings its arms in the air and yells "argh!". after talking with tim and considering his gentle adjustment to mialana's behaviour i suggested it to brendan. when i'm loud or excited or worked up or overwhelming, he simply says "gentle... gentle" and almost instantly i calm down and speak at a normal level. i have to admit, i'm rather amazed by this. for the majority of my life i've had mom family telling me that i'm too loud. i think it works because i want to get my point across and i know that if i don't change gears my message is going to get lost or ignored. it's completely sincere too. the funny thing is that it worked from the first moment he tried it and wasn't something i had to slowly condition myself to.
when tim and tracy had their baby micah, i remember tim telling me and shanno how he taught mialana in advance to be gentle with the new baby. he said whenever she was close to his (tim's) face he would tell her "gentle, gentle" and she'd softly pat his cheek or ear. i found this very clever and i liked that it in itself was a very gentle way to correct behaviour. sometimes i get loud and worked up about stuff. brendan has taken to comparing me to a peanuts character who flings its arms in the air and yells "argh!". after talking with tim and considering his gentle adjustment to mialana's behaviour i suggested it to brendan. when i'm loud or excited or worked up or overwhelming, he simply says "gentle... gentle" and almost instantly i calm down and speak at a normal level. i have to admit, i'm rather amazed by this. for the majority of my life i've had mom family telling me that i'm too loud. i think it works because i want to get my point across and i know that if i don't change gears my message is going to get lost or ignored. it's completely sincere too. the funny thing is that it worked from the first moment he tried it and wasn't something i had to slowly condition myself to.
i like to cut my sandwiches into two halves. it makes me feel like i'm eating more than i actually am. it's a simple way to make me gleeful.
4 comments:
I get a little loud when I'm in the heat of something, but I think if Scott did that to me it would make me frustrated. I've always had a hard time with people telling me to calm down or to do anything against what I'm feeling, really.
Marlene
i like being positively affirmed. if someone told me to calm down i would like that either.
if brendan tells me "you're being negative" i get angry. if he says "can you try to be more positive" i respond well to that. it's all about the approach. my family always says "you're too loud" which is frustrating and embarrassing. they're going to tell me in one way or anothers, so being encouraged in a positive way... that works well with me. everyone is different :)
I like(d) my toast cut into 4 diagonally. Always made it taste better - especially when someone else made it!!!
understandable. i like my grilled cheese sandwiches cut into "fingers".
i like it that you like things best when someone else makes them for you :)
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