it's become apparent that i need to learn some assertiveness fast. it's not that i'm not assertive at all, but i'm really mostly just assertive with strangers. with friends, family and acquaintances, it's hard for me to express my desires and preferences because i want to be considerate of their preferences too. the problem is, that when it comes to my éamon, i can't let myself cave so easily. i find it pretty stressful when he starts crying while someone else is holding him. i don't mind if it lasts for a couple minutes, but when it last longer than five minutes and he's clearly not settling, it's hard for me to sit there watching and not step in. i find with other mothers especially, they're not alarmed by him fussing and enjoy him anyways. but i'd rather they just pass him back to me or brendan to soothe. basically, i need to find a polite way of asking for my baby back. when i let other people make decisions for him, i feel overlooked as his mom and then i get upset and start to shut down socially. what it comes down to is whether or not i feel empowered in my role as mama bear. i can't let other people make me feel insignificant because this is a special time in my life as i establish myself in this new identity.
life is full of unexpected learning curves.to lead a better life I need my love to be here.
2 comments:
I used to feel the same way with my babies too. I think I mostly just told them I'd take them off their hands. I didn't pose it as a question because they might say no, but I said it as gently as possible. It was more of a struggle when they'd cry with Scott and I didn't want him to feel inadequate as a father, but I knew they just needed comfort through nursing. Btw, even though I'm a mom, I'm perfectly fine handing back crying babies!
Marlene
that sounds good! i'll try that.
it's moms in their 50s and 60s who haven't had babies for a long time who keep holding them even though they're crying :S
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