brendan and i are doing this marriage course just as some relationship maintenance. it's been fun, but also challenging at times. chores turned into a big fight, which is why we've instituted our 20-minutes a day cleaning routine. i'm happy to say that's actually working pretty well.

this week it used this illustration of rhinos and hedgehogs to show different styles of dealing with conflict. my first instinct was to think i was a rhino, but the more i thought about it, the more i realized i'm a hedgehog. i'm just a hedgehog who can articulate myself well when the coast is clear, which makes me seem more like a rhino. AND because i can be hotheaded sometimes.

it got me thinking about growing up – how inward i was. i rarely felt safe talking about my feelings, and as a result i didn't do it. it wasn't that the people in my life were unsafe, it was because of my own internal process. i can talk freely and confidently about things after the fact, but if i'm still processing something, it's not a topic of conversation. i guard myself pretty securely.