sasquatch

you'll never believe this, but while i moaned and complained last night about my lost hat, it was sitting on my desk buried under a bunch of papers – within arms reach! i'm rolling my eyes at myself.

SO! update on my garden. it is looking SWEET! (the only way i could get both sides of my balcony in this photo was to put it on a severe angle).

you know... i don't think this photo does it justice. one of the biggest differences in this year's garden – which was a spontaneous change – is that i've place my herb boxes right at the front of my balcony. my herbs haven't done great in the past, so today i took a closer look at the instructions, and it says to plant them in full sun. they were mostly in shade last year and the year before. so by placing them at the front they'll get full sun in the morning and in the evening. that's the best i can do. i wish it had been a little warmer today because i would've liked to have sit out on my balcony reading, i tried, but it was just too cold. the forecast is showing great weather all week, so that's wonderful, i'm sure i'll get a chance to enjoy an evening or two out there.

i'm afraid of the woman i might turn into someday. what if i unintentionally turn into a nag or a meany. rach and i were talking the other day about how many women feel a need to bring their husband/partner/boyfriend down a few pegs. and concluded it was sad, although we could see that we were both guilty of it in the past. i'm proud of rach for changing her ways. i really hope i'll say nothing but encouraging things, i'm kind of scared by how quickly sarcasm comes to my mind, even if i mean it as a joke, a guise, or a form of flirting. i'm making the decision here and now to not be cruel, biting, sarcastic, or demeaning. i really only want to be loving, supporting, and encouraging. i'm also freaked out by the movie i watched this evening, how the wife was so manipulative, controling and restrictive of her husband. it infuriated me. i'm scared i could end up that way if i'm not careful. it's so easy to see that behaviour as an outsider, what if i fail to recognize it in myself?? i guess that's where i'll really need my friends to point it out – please speak up if i behave that way!!!

i had a good day today, i'm amazed by how spending the day alone is sometimes so enjoyable and other times just terrible. i'm grateful that today was one of the enjoyable ones. i look forward to not living alone eventually – i think i talk too much and KNOW that's related the amount of time i spend alone.

we are vagabonds,
we travel without seatbelts on,
we live this close to death.