live

sometimes shannon and i go to the movie theatre and waste 2 hours of hour lives that we'd never get back. we probably would've been better off sitting in a laundry basket in the dark. i feel kind of dirty.

i've been thinking a lot about comparison lately. why do we compare ourselves with others?? things like: success, weight, income, size of house, romantic relationships, children, talents, social skills, number of friends on facebook, looks, ability to parallel park. i don't know why we want to be better than the people around us. why can't we look at the house beside ours and think "what a nice house for them, it suits them perfectly!!"? i don't know about you folks, but it's something i struggle with. maybe it's just an insecurity that i'll grow out of as i mature. maybe it's ignorance, maybe it's jealousy. i don't know, but it's something that frustrates me and causes me much unnecessary hardship. maybe i'm more competitive than i thought, or maybe i fall prey to social expectations more than i thought. i just don't understand it, and i hate that i was so gleeful tonight that i was a better parallel parker than the girl in front of me. which is pathetic. the reality is that it's not about the other people at all. maybe it all just boils down to feeling reassured that i'm ok, that i'm doing just fine. it's my hope that i'll get over it and in a few years become more gracious and at peace that i feel nothing but admiration for others.

i was really enjoying my hair today, i thought it looked fantastic. then i realized this past sunday was the anniversary of me getting dreads. it was on january 31 of last year. wow. hard to believe. i still feel excited about it even if i don't have them anymore. it was a great experience :)

you tell me that time never waits,
that's ok cause i don't wait for time.