detour

it dawned on me last night have it's been quite some time since i intentionally did something i'd never done before. the last year has been full of firsts, so i haven't had to make a conscious effort. but during this month of november nothing has naturally come up. hopefully i'll get to go to zumba next week with shanno, and then i'll be back on track. although, i did go on my first road trip with bren (if you exclude the two we've been on to peterborough: one with al, one with hatchers) to see ani difranco :D that feels so long ago now that it feels like last month!

i'm listening to u2 today. i don't really have any new music at the mo. i've finished listening to my latest new stuff. so i'm going thru the cds i have in my desk. monday-tuesday was sarah harmer. wednesday-thursday was radiohead. and today just felt like a u2 kind of day. a great line caught my ear, and has sent me into a tizzy of poetry and romanticism. "are you still growing wild, with everything tame around you?". oh man, i'd love to inhale those words. i suppose my answer would be "i dunno, i hope i am". i do hope that. for always. a lot has calmed down in my life in recent years. my family is mended and not broken. my job is peaceful and inspiring instead of frustrating and spirit-killing. my love-life is blooming instead of crushing. my friendships are rich and meaningful not tortured and burdensome. and my faith... well it's always new and revealing. it's fair to say that life is somewhat tame for the first time in my life. i don't feel too busy, or like i don't have breathing space. i think that's a good thing. ani has a new song on that says something like "if you're not getting happier as you get older than you're screwing it up". i can concure with that. so i suppose the question is... am i still growing wild? can one be both tame and wild at the same time? hmmm... i think so. like wild strawberries for example :)

i feel peaceful. really truly peaceful. i'd like to listen and hear more.

today i slapped my own ass spontaneously, without thinking about it. then i realized my colleague was standing behind me and i felt stupid :S it was an accident. an accidental on purpose.

bren is leaving on a jet plane today. she's flying all the way to ethiopia. i'm so glad for her. it makes my heart swell because i know how much she's been longing to reconnect with the developing world. she's felt disengaged from what has been her life's work. i'll miss her, but i know it's good for her soul, and besides, she'll be home soon.

 

i won't be blown by every breeze.