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last night i had a grilled cheese sandwich on rye, with grated cheese and arugala. it was so delicious. b and i have started to experiment with grilled cheese sandwiches, so far i'm already very satisfied.

it's officially summer in the maxipad. last night we put away our duvet and got out the bedspread that we bought in cambodia last summer. lovely.

i've been thinking about culture in the context of marriage. any environment (school, work, church, friends, housemates, neighbourhoods, camps, even family) have some kind of distinct culture. so it stands to reason that a marriage or long-term committed partnership is bound to have a culture as well, even if on a smaller less obvious scale. studies have shown that your partner's eating habits affect your own eating habits - being overweight is "contagious" for example. i've also heard it said that a person's ambition is often influenced by one's partner. i've commented before that i've become more introverted since beginning my relationship with brendan, and perhaps that's in part the result of being in a relationship with an introvert. maybe our marriage has an introverted culture. brendan is very comfortable and at ease being at home, watching movies or reading. since i also like those things, i join him in his activities. i also mingle less in crowds than i used to.

anyways, i got thinking about this in regards to social skills. i've known many couples in my day who seem equally socially awkward. i always thought that was the result of two awkward people being drawn to one another, but i'm starting to wonder if it's the result of their culture. if your partner has great social skills, is alert to social cues, is very eloquent and graceful in his or her interactions, comfortable and at ease with conversation, you're bound to be influenced by that in a positive way. but i'm awakening to the fact that poor social skills are also influential, and people i once found to be very skillful socially may have become less so if their partner does not have the same skill set. recently i made several attempts to share with someone about an experience that was important and meaningful to me. i did not receive a response, and when i was contacted on another matter, there was still no mention of the news i'd shared. my experience and feelings were completely glossed over. at first i felt disappointed and hurt, then i felt angry and rejected, but since then i'm starting to wonder if the person just doesn't have the social skills to reciprocate in a customary manner. maybe it's cultural. it's my custom to respond in kind, but i suppose not everyone has that custom.

i ate an entire bag of doritos cool ranch chips in two days this past weekend. i justified it with the fact that i didn't eat any dinner on either saturday or sunday, but i know that it's still bad practice. chips are a treat not a meal. tsk tsk lesley. tsk tsk. since i haven't been going to goodlife lately (i've been trying to be out walking more often) my weight loss is less drastic but still progressing. i can now take off my work pants without undoing them, and am fitting into smaller clothes. excellent!

plug it in and change the world.