nightlight

i've seen several articles and videos on the website 'upworthy' lately about bodies. how even the most beautiful models are drastically touched up. cindy crawford is quoted for saying that she wished she looked like cindy crawford. this, paired with david's sermon last week about bodies and the cultural obsession with bodies, has got me thinking (this is separate to my post-pregnancy reflections on my body) about my face. since éamon was born, i haven't worn much make-up – mostly because of time. i still wear it on occasion, and i feel torn about whether i should make time for it more often. i'm usually aware of it when i see myself in photographs. i've always believed that i wear it for myself, which is true because brendan prefers me without make up, and he tells me that all the time. so i've decided i need to re-train my brain to get used to seeing my face without make up. i didn't start wearing any make-up until my mid-20s. all through high school and college i had a naked face and i preferred it that way – until i started getting insecure and felt a need to improve my face.

so my new year's resolution for 2014 will be to go a year without make up. it won't be a choice, so i won't constantly be thinking i should improve myself. i haven't been wearing make-up lately, but the option is always there if i had the time. so to make it official, on january 1 i'm going to throw the remains of my make-up in the trash. that way, it's not there, and i'd actually have to make the effort to buy more if i felt tempted to improve my face again. i never notice make-up on other people (unless it's bad), so i don't imagine that anyone else will notice it's absence on me.

i think this is an important step for me. the world would probably be a better place if everyone just loved who they are.

lo, how a rose e'er blooming
from tender stem hath sprung.