phallic

i went to eve's tonight with the rachel and catherine. i had a really lovely time, i sat with michelle, carolyn, catherine and sarah over dinner. what a hoot! it was a really nice time but i got so sleepy. brenda was speaking but near the end when people were asking questions i was literary falling asleep.

when i walked in i saw in a crowd of people my exboyfriend's mom. when i saw her i said outloud "oh my goodness" and i went up to her to give her a hug. she had no idea who i was. it took her a good 10 seconds to clue in and at that point my arms were just about all the way around her. so in total i had two exboyfriend's moms there when you include carolyn. sarah clearly got a kick out of it. that and the stain-glass artwork ;)

on the way home, with rach and catherine we had some girly girl talk. ah, girly girl talk always hits the spot from time to time.

i established today that i'm afraid of being vulerable. well, not afraid exactly, afraid of being hurt if i make myself vulerable. but i suppose its unavoidable. all my chips are on the table. in life i feel its necessary to bet all or nothing. i'm done with denying my wants. i can't sit back and say that i don't care, because i do. no amount of self-persuasion has convinced me so far.

today in the mail i got a 20 dollar gift certificate from the grizzly grill. i signed up for this promotional mailing list months ago. its only good til dec 31. who will i take with me??

it's a big enough umbrella,
but it's always me that ends up getting wet.