elastic

i've been thinking a lot these days about the expression "none of my business". i just wonder at what point something is our business and when it's not. since our lives are so deeply connected (what we do affects those around us), i'm not sure if there are boundaries. and well, it seems people just use it as a cop-out. let me explain... when i was 18. i'd had a domestic dispute with my boyfriend outside his house after midnight in the winter. during the battery and abuse i'd managed to wrestle my way to the front door and ring the doorbell until his parents discovered what was going on. they came down and broke it up, then his dad drove me home because i was too much of an emotional wreck to drive. in the car home he said to me "i know this is none of my business, but perhaps you two need to take some time apart". what shocked me by that statement was if it was ANYTHING it was his business. his SON was destroying me and yet he didn't think it was his business. it was HIS SON, it was HIS responsibility to do something to stop that pattern of behaviour in his own child. (for the record, i tried to dump him the next day, but he wouldn't let me. i was pretty much trapped and sadly remained with him – on and off – for another 18 months or more). anyways, it just seems to me that when we have positive feedback people are more than willing to make their lives our business. and when we point our unhealthy behaviour we're told it's none of our business. or at other times, people claim something isn't their business because they're too cowardly to say what needs to be said.

it was a beautiful day out today, and i thoroughly enjoyed myself. this evening i watched who killed the electric car? i got out from the library, and finished knitting my wrist warmers. i spent a chunk of time searching the internet for design websites that i liked, and i have to admit, there's 80% crap out there. i'm also designing a logo for my dad for the good food box kingston. that's the kind of thing i'd usually shy away from because historically logos have pose the greatest challenge for me, but i'm viewing this as a portfolio opportunity and good practise.

this is the first time in about a decade (perhaps my whole life) that i feel excited about my future and actually think the road ahead is bright. i know i'll face a lot of questions – a lot of people will think i'm nuts to leave my stable corporate job for something that seems less successful, but i really don't care. i don't have to justify myself to anyone. besides, almost every unconventional decision i've ever made has been met with positivity and admiration once people get used to it.

one of my favourite sentences is "HERE I AM". that statement sucker punches me. gets me every time. it's beautiful. full of potiental. full of back-plot. full of possibility. here i am...

why do young lovers always think they're the first people to ever fall in love?

for all the happiness mankind can gain,
is not the pleasure, but in the rest from pain.