it would be so amazing to go back in time and talk to myself as a teenager. i have a sneaking suspicion that my young self would not appreciate or approve of the things my current self would have to say. that reality came alarmingly clear the other day when i came across some a book that i had censored. it's a book of misheard lyrics. it's actually quite funny, it's called he's got the whole world in his pants a few of my friends gave it to me in highschool. it has pages of misheard lyrics along side the correct words – i'm sure we've all mis-sung songs before. the book contains several illustrations to go along with the misheard lyrics. i haven't looked at it in 10-12 years, but when i took my book shelves down on saturday to paint i flipped thru it. it turns out that on one of the pages where there was an illustration of a naked couple running thru a field i took a black pen and drew black boxes over the private parts. when i first saw my censorship my jaw dropped, but very slowly the memory flooded back, along with the recollection of how self-righteous i was while editing the page. when i saw my censorship i found it quite funny and laughed at myself, but after my giggles faded i felt frustration and annoyance at my behaviour. that was before i took life-drawing class, in hindsight that class really changed my life, or was one of many life changing experiences. frig, i can't believe i was so uptight! no doubt my 17-year-old self would consider me very "liberal" and look down on me. but at the same time, i think i'd also inwardly look at my 29-year-old self with respect and awe. i've mellowed with age. matured i guess. i live freely now, in a way i didn't know was possible but am so glad that it is. i wonder how i'll be different in another 12 years. how life will change me and how i will change life. i wonder what my 41-year-old self would say to me right now. it's exciting and beautiful how much one can change and grow in a life time.
i do it just because i want to.
2 comments:
My teen-aged self, too, would be scandalized by my present-day self. (Carolyn and I destroyed our secular albums in the 70s in an effort to avoid being tainted by the world. Such patently evil works as Carole King's "Tapestry" suffered the guillotine of our efforts to follow God!) Things are not so black and white today as they were when I was young and not particularly wise. And I have come to appreciate and enjoy many of the things I once considered inappropriate for a follower of Christ. I must admit, though, that my passion and willingness to make sacrifices for Christ during those days were admirable. Who knows? There are some who would just consider us to have "backslidden." I guess we'll have to leave that for God to judge. Still, I think it is pretty funny that you blacked out the "naughty bits!"
teens are zealous huh? but you're right, their intentions are admirable.
although bob, you are quite the scandalous fellow :p
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