squeegee

this afternoon i took a screen-printing class at made4you. there was supposed to be 4 people, but it turned out that i was the only person. that was kind of disappointing because i was looking forward to interacting with a group, but i was able to chat with barb the instructor more and have one-on-one coaching. i did two shirts, one with some mushrooms on it, and one with some feathers. i'm kind of disappointed with how the feathers one turned out with, i wish i chose different colours (although hot pink and glow-in-the-dark are pretty cool), but you know what? it is what it is, and i'll wear it, and enjoy it. i'm kinda proud of myself for taking a workshop, and i enjoyed myself.

i've been thinking more on about this whole redecorating my room thing. i'm kind of surprised by it because i had my room plain white covered in posters for years and years. i enjoyed it at the time, but i was ready for a change. i like that i've had opportunities to live my life one way, and then another way. i'm not just talking about my room anymore. like, i used to sleep until 2 pm on saturdays, but now i get up earlier and enjoy putsying around my house while listening to GO on cbc. i think it's partly a process of maturing – of growing out of a phase, and partly that change is good when it comes at the right time. things run their course, and when that happens i enter a new phase happy and rejoicing.

i had a long conversation with my family about my future today at lunch. i cried. they were very supportive, but i felt defensive and insecure. while at the same time i feel excited and certain. this is a complicated stage for me, and i really recognize that i fear regret – A LOT. thankfully, both my mom and joy were very sure that things will work out, although they did both keep saying "you never know what can happen in a year". that's KIND OF true, but nothing ever changes in MY life from year to year, so i think it's pretty safe to proceed with my plans.

i have tried in my way to be free.