perfume

there are times – days, hours, moments – when i don't like myself very much. i've kind of had one of those evenings. no particular reason, just everything thing about me is getting on my nerves. i feel the sting of my own dislike, it lingers like a slap across the face. it makes me listless.

i had a good afternoon. i met bren, rowan, and skye at skeleton park, where i had a free hot dog and dr pepper. or as ro likes to call it a "dr pepsi". after that i sat on bren's kitchen floor for a couple of hours chatting. it was relaxing, a quiet summer afternoon. i think i've sat on the floor more at bren's place than anywhere else. i dragged my heels as i left, in fact, i think 45 minutes passed from the time i first said "i should go" to the time i actually exited her backyard. just in a funny mood i guess. when i arrived home i continued to feel a little indecisive, i wanted to be outside, but also wanted to watch more episodes of sex and the city (have i mentioned that i'm renting the whole series start to finish? i'm currently on season 2). inspired by rach, i moved my entire computer out onto my balcony and had the best of both worlds.

there was a line in a sex and the city episode that went like "people don't hate single women, they just want to figure them out". i think that's true. probably a lot of (what i perceive to be) animosity that i feel from the people i meet and know is actually just their desire to figure me out. peg me someplace. sometimes i wish i could figure me out too.

then labour day came and went.