barriefield

when brendan was 17 he got his G1, then proceeded to never sit behind a steering wheel. until today.

last week when we did our 5 year financial plan we talked about when we'll need to replace our car. i asked him when he thought he'd get his G2 license and he said "this year". which meant we needed to make some time for him to learn how to drive. my car is standard, and we don't have easy access to an automatic (at least in this part of town). after talking with rach last night at the brew pub, we felt that starting in a standard isn't impossible. so this afternoon we ventured across the street to the memorial centre parking lot for brendan's first lesson. i've taught 4 other people how to drive standard. i'm pretty calm about it and only have one rule "when i tell you to do something, you do it". that's the only area in my life that i insist on my word being law. it's because in that situation it involves protecting lives and property. i always tell people that in advance, so if they're uncomfortable with that rule then we don't have to get in the car together. everyone has been ok with that before, and brendan was too.

within a few minutes i realized that we were truly starting from scratch. it's easy to forget that it's complicated when first learning to drive. it can be hard to explain when people just know how to do something without thinking about it.

b did ok with his first few attempts. i would praise and encourage him the whole way. the only scary experience we had was at around his 3rd attempt to take off (or maybe it was his first time trying to switch into 2nd). he ended up flooring it, the engine roared and we were moving at a quick pace. i grasped the handle on my door while telling him "brake! now!" he was initially confused and thought i meant the hand brake. but did eventually stop the car, then stall the car. it was ok, we spoke calmly to one another and sat yoga breathing for a few minutes. i was a little rattled and so was he. thankfully he quite quickly got the hang of reversing, so he backed up to where we'd begun and tried again. it seemed reversing helped him understand how much pressure should be applied to the gas. so from then on he did quite well.

we drove around and round the parking lot. he did left turns, he did right turns. he stopped. he stalled. he switched gears. the thing that seemed the most difficult for him (aside from the feet thing) was not to turn too far. it felt like he was constantly doing 180º turns instead of 90º. i tried to explain to him that in real life he wouldn't just be driving in a big oval doing u-turns all the time, and asked that he did a complete square of the parking lot instead of a circle. once he mastered that we decided to tackle a neighbourhood. i felt the best place to drive around was the army base. the neighbourhood there is relatively quiet and the roads are long enough that he could move up to 3rd gear. so we switched places and i drove over to fort henry hill. i felt as though he had a new sense of awe for me as i drove. i would dictate to him what i was doing as i drove. when he was back in the driver's seat i was mindful to calmly encourage him while trying to advise him to stay on the road and to keep a safe distance to parked cars. i encouraged him to not have tunnel vision, and coached him about stop signs and signalling. funnily enough we found ourselves in a cul-de-sac, and he triumphantly pointed out that it was a 180º circle – just the kind i'd told him he'd never come across. thankfully because of all his practice he smoked that circle.

eventually he got tired and we called it a day. learning to drive standard can be sensory overload. he did well, and i look forward to our next practice run. i've told him that the next time he gets in the car to drive he'll feel more confident and will likely feel frustrated that some of what he learned today has been forgotten. it's a process and he'll gradually be fully skilled. i also told him that all new standard drivers have at least one stressful and unnerving experience – it's practically a right of passage. everyone has a story about learning to drive a manual car. if new drivers look at it that way they are less discouraged when it happens.

baby you can drive my car.