i'm feeling a fresh wave of baby-phobia. i picked up my diaphragm from the pharmacy yesterday. there's some confusion surrounding the products to use with it, and i was suddenly seized with the fear and reality that if this diaphragm fails me/us, we could end up with an unplanned pregnancy in our first year of marriage. i really really really really really DON'T want a baby for a while - several years. i'm quite disillusioned and feel like babies ruin peoples lives, friendships, and marriages. that being said, i can think of a handful of people who rock the baby-thing pretty well, i see them as a beacon of light amongst the sea of paralyzed parents. i try my best to be understanding and supportive to people with youngins, but from the outside looking in it seems to me they make their lives unnecessarily hard. i attend a church full of families (which i was very much reminded of during our weekend retreat), i would like to be the token "married couple with no kids" for a long while. thankfully i read in my pamphlet that if used correctly the chance of pregnancy is 6%, which is really good! i'm just afraid that i don't have it on right, because it was just so easy to put in. does that just mean it's simple or that it's wrong!?!? i don't know! brendan and i are going to name our diaphragm. i noticed yesterday the manufacturers name is milex, so i suggested to him "miles", but he said that would be an insult to one of his greatest music heros - miles davis. i'll try to have a healthy amount of baby fear, it will help me be dedicated to using proper protection, while not overwhelming me. i know that once people have babies they usually really like them, but we know enough people who've struggled with parenthood to know it's not something we want for a many years. we like our life.
this evening we're helping collect for the food blitz for the food drive. i always really enjoy it and the weather is supposed to be great! i'm looking forward to it. and to seeing the butlers too!
something he was not looking for: both a beginning and an end.
1 comment:
Yup, babies'll change your life - no doubt about it. Best to wait til you feel ready.
Re: birthcontrol. If you keep tracking your cycles, along with using the diaphragm, you will know when you need to be really, especially careful with it. I think that'd make it even more effective than 6%.
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