farm

i've been starting to notice a trend. people don't seem to like it when i tell them things that are true. it makes them angry at me. the most disheartening and frustrating thing about that is that i'm not a particularly frank person and it generally takes me reaching a breaking point before i actually say it. it's not like it's easy for me to tell someone that i see a problem, i don't relish that kind of conversation. i kind of feel like a person, even if they don't initially like what i'm saying, should try to fathom that it took a lot of courage for me to speak up and that i did it because i love them and want the best for them.

i know it's not that i'm just a complete jerk, because one time in particular i told a friend 'this is what i see' and she actually felt relieved and thankful that i'd broached the subject. until then she hadn't been able to admit it to herself. maybe that's part of the problem, why people get angry, because they haven't yet realized the situation they're waist deep in. that said, with my dear friend, while we'd had a candid and productive conversation it still took a couple years for her to fully get it out of her system.

what do other people do? do they ignore it when they see a loved one in a self-destructive situation? i can't imagine loving someone and standing by idly watching self-inflicted problems persist. i can think of times when my friends spoke into my life in real and meaningful ways when i needed it. one of my favourite lines from a plants and animals song is "it takes a good friend to say you've got your head up your ass". i agree with this 100%. that's partly what friends are for, we help one another along the way.

it's that important tension. finding the balance between too tight and too lose.

i want to shake,
i want to shake,
i want to shake,
i want to shake your hand.