there's an explaination for everything. far too often i find myself feeling confused or thinking "that doesn't make any sense". but i've concluded that there's a reason for the way things are, i just don't know the answer yet, it doesn't mean i won't ever. there are countless examples of this phenomenon, last night in pirates of the caribean, will asked elizabeth why she'd given his last name as her own, and she said she didn't know why. i'm sure he was confused, but it eventually became obvious that she was secretly in love with him. i have other examples, but they're from the personal lives of my friends and i think they'd prefer me not to share. i like this because i feel i can relax and things will make sense in time. am i being clear inspite my obscure ways?
something that's also been on my mind lately is this whole "be yourself thing". that's what i wanna do, i can't be bothered to play games or pretend things that aren't. and yet my natural reactions to things isn't always "best practice". i COULD be like "i don't want to clean my house, that's just me. that's how i am", but that's not best because things around a house need to get done. or i could be like "i drink heavily and expose myself in public, that's just want i do" (neither example is true by the way). so i find myself trying to discover the best of both worlds – being myself and also not hindering myself through bad behaviour or habits.
oh my goodness, one of my greatest phobia's is that i'll accidentally click on the wrong name when sending an email and will send something personal to the wrong person. ouch, that could be awkward. especially since there are a handful of people who i email most frequently who i don't address the email to them and just start right in. the poor accidental recipient wouldn't have the foggiest clue that it wasn't intended for them. unless, i signed it something like "lata lova" in which case i hope they'll realize something was amiss.
i know it sounds very collected in jars.
is that just the place that i wanna be?
8 comments:
Lesley, I'm totally with you on the everything has an explanation thing. Everything does make sense, we just don't always know what the sense is, and its ok not to know. What a load off!
exactly! even my entry names!! everything makes sense. i'm not gonna worry about figuring things out, they'll make sense over time.
I love(d) the Watchmen Lesley. Your lyric choice just brought back some pretty crazy memories. You're too cool for school.
i am with you on the whole be who you are and not who you think you are supposed to be. again finding the fine balance...
yes...i am a shy introverted person and often would rather sit at home then be in uncomfortable situations
stepping out side of that comfort zone.
sarah... are you for serious??
you know melissa, it has never occured to me that you'd be introverted. you're more quiet than some, but i wouldn't think of you as shy. i'm shy and yet still obnoxiously outgoing at times. i like when i bike past your house and see can you watching the tv thru the window. and yes, i did say THE TV, so i'm weird.
I'm always serious.
i know. and i love ya :)
This a thought-provoking post. Because I've wondered about the same things... at what point is it just laziness to "be who you are" and when is it a bad thing.
I think it's an important distinction to make between who you are and what you do. Let me see if I can illustrate this with your clean house example.
If you're a naturally messy person, it is probably not because you enjoy living in a mess. Likely it's because you tend to let things fall where they are or because you dislike the action of cleaning, or maybe you just don't notice details. That tendency toward inaction or acceptance is going to manifest in other ways in your life... it is that tendency that is part of your identity as opposed to the result of messiness. Also, coupled with that tendency toward chaos, there is probably a sense that you shouldn't let it get too far... you do have tendencies in both directions. It's the line-drawing you're wondering about I think.
The person who drinks and exposes him/herself has chosen to draw the line in an inappropriate and illegal (?) place. But the impulse towards boisterousness and fun isn't wrong...
I'm all for drawing lines in a way that it is best for you. I dunno. long, rambling thoughts :)
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