Monday, June 12, 2006

next

the question burning a hole in my head is... is rustle street going to give me an ulser? it was a good meeting tonight, but i felt so anxious through most of it. this is a normal occurance for me, its always promptly followed by "why is my stomach burning? what does my body know that it forgot to tell my brain?" i told al tonight that i don't have an opinion, but i think a more true statement is i haven't yet figured it out. i know i'm scared. not exactly sure why, except for the fears created by my involvement in past church-plants. i don't know, that's all i know for sure.

i had a revelation today. i'm always thinking and having stupid revelations and they ususally cause emotional distress. i'm determined not to let this bother me. i want to get control of my thoughts and my emotions. that is my goal. so i've given myself the task of busying myself with tasks. when i'm busy or preoccupied i don't have time to over-analyze, over-think or over-dissect.

i figured you out.

hahaha. i love this picture! click on the image for a link to laney's flickr account. there's some great photos, she's learned a lot from that hubby of hers :) hey, isn't it weird how that building beside the pita pit is now gone?? so unexpected – like a thief in the night. kind of.

i'm feeling good. i'm feeling sensational actually. i want to ban from my presence anyone who makes me doubt or second guess myself. they can go away.

this is a long entry. which surprises me because today i was starting to question why i do this.

she's fast and thorough,
and as sharp as a tack.

8 comments:

yelsel said...

ok so its not a SUPER long entry. but that's because i went back and edited it. yup, i did. so that will leave wondering what i cut out won't it???

nah-nah boo-boo.

Rachel said...

Are you planning on going to Rustle, or staying at Next? Sorry if you already posted the answer to that elsewhere. I've been away from blogland for 5 or 6 days and I'm catching up starting at the most recent.

yelsel said...

no, i'm sticking to the familar. however, i want to be supportive and informed. mostly, the whole idea of this scares me so much that i know it needs lots of prayer, so meetings like tonights keep me in the loop.

i haven't mentioned it before so you didn't miss anything. are you planning on sticking to "next central" too?

Rachel said...

Yeah, we're definitely staying at Next. My own personal experience of church plants has definitely been negative, as well. Down right traumatic in fact, if not for me, then for other members of my family. That being said, I also want to be supportive. I wasn't at the meeting tonight, but did my part by watching someone else's kid so they could be there. Hope it went well and you feel in the loop.

TEAM RICHKA said...

they are all weirdos.

yelsel said...

who are all weirdos?

TEAM RICHKA said...

they.

yelsel said...

OOOH! THEY!! don't even get me started on THEM!! argh. bastards. just kidding.