somewhere along the way, i became loyal to the core. i swear i wasn't always this way, or at least i didn't identify it as loyalty because i guess i just assumed everyone was this way. i'm dedicated and committed to a fault, or at least it feels like a fault because sometimes it's extremely painful. the agony makes me wish i could be bad and let people down sometimes, but that hurts too. the way i see it right now... loyalty is the lesser of two evils.
i had a totally great time with beck at her cottage this weekend. we watched a lot of olympics, we went swimming, we laid on the dock in our bikinis reading in the sun, and i finally finished the sox i was knitting for her birthday (which was back in april). i enjoyed her company immensely. last night i walked down to the water alone in the dark, slipped into the water and slipped OFF my swimsuit. i'd never been skinny-dipping before. it was fun. although, i kind of felt like i was in a massive bathtub. except it was a bathtub full of algae.
i finished eat pray love. it was really good and i thoroughly enjoyed it (as it turns out, it's yet ANOTHER one of the books i've read in the last year that's being made into a movie). however, i must admit my intense disappointment that she fell in love at the end. i was a little worried that she might (since the last section was called 'love') because i'm really tired of the mentality that going full-circle means finding love. barf (oops, excuse my spontaneous gag-reflex). i didn't want her year of self-discovery to HAVE TO include a relationship. and i'm kind of annoyed that this unconventional woman ended up having such a predictable ending. i'm not against falling in love, i'd like to fall in love again someday, but it was just a bit of a yawn. regardless, i loved the book, and i look forward to the flick. it was a good and easy read.
i've concluded i'm a bit of a mystic. it's funny the things i learn about myself on a regular basis. it's strange when you consider that i've been with myself for the last 28 years, you'd think there'd be little that surprises me about myself anymore. but there's lots. i guess that's a good thing or else i could become easily bored with me.
i have my mind's eye on you.
now that nothings spoken, she's out there on the ice again.
2 comments:
i am a committed to a fault person too. sometimes it's hard to know when to let go.
i was surprised about the relationship at the end of the book as well. surprised even more that it lasted past the writing of the book!
ya me too!
maybe we'll figure it out someday aphra :) i'll let you know if i get idea on how.
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