confession

i like my friend shannon just because she's weird.

i got a promotion today at work. i'm now the "communications technician". i hate my new title, and i especially hate that "graphic designer" has been dropped, even though i understand why. i won't go into all the details, but it has something to do with the fact that the term "graphic designer" is a huge red flag, and the knickers had to change my title in order to hide me. i'm like moses – a little graphic designer in the reeds. my new title is lame, but it came with a higher level (i'm a level 8 now instead of a level 7) and a pay increase (i don't suspect it'll be very significant tho). i wish i was more excited about it, i guess i'm not because it's just evening out what i actually do with what i officially do so it's making very little difference. but i'll try to be optimistic about it... they ARE recognizing my contribution to the company. i've worked there almost 5.5 years and got a promotion 3 times, i shouldn't complain, most people don't get to advance at all, much less 3 times. at times when i doubt myself, i'm always reassured by my job – it's something i KNOW i'm good at, and was at one time a building block from which i rediscovered my self-worth and confidence.

i went to my very first clothing exchange tonight. lucky for me rachel erb was there and dispensing of some of her extra stuff :D i got some nice things.

i'm burning.

when i was 13 years old
i woke up one morning
thighs covered in blood
like a war
like a warning
that i live in a breakable takeable body
an ever-increasingly valuable body
that a woman had come in the night to replace me
deface me