i'm wearing the long-johns that shanno gave me for my birthday underneath my work pants this morning. it's awesome. not only do i feel much warmer and cozier, i also feel like i'm undercover - secretly wearing blue long-johns and nobody knows it by just looking at me. it's awesome, this may be the highlight of my day.
brendan's getting a tooth pulled right now. my dad took him. when they made their arrangements yesterday and my dad said good-bye he threw in a "i'm looking forward to seeing you in pain tomorrow" then hung-up. i thought that was hilarious, b was a little shocked but felt that if anyone else in the world had said that it would've been weird but coming from george it was completely normal.
bren and i were discussing extroverts the other day. it began to occur to me that there are many different kinds of extroverts and i'm slightly baffled by this. after observing an extrovert who bounces around from one person to the next without much sincerity i began feeling really annoyed at the more extro people group. but in talking to bren (who is a self-identified extrovert) she pointed out that it's not extrovertedness, or even immaturity, that creates the appearance of lack of sincerity, but rather it's a lack of depth. it's strange that i'd never realized this before. i feel kind of liberated now that i get this. i have to admit, there are times when i'm warry of people because i feel like they're kind of phony, i feel i don't have interest in investing in people who aren't real with me. but i suppose some people aren't very complex, they simply are what they are. i don't really know where that leaves me. i say quite often to b "i don't need to be friends with everyone", and i firmly believe that. i feel i need to be friendly with everyone, kind and true, but i don't click with everyone, and it's ok if we're not friends. i don't invest in relationships that i don't feel a connection. and although i think that's fair, i struggle with it a little bit. especially when my friends can connect with someone i can't, or even worse when brendan connects with someone i don't. i know a few people where i feel a barrier, a wall. i feel that they won't let me in to anything beyond the surface of who they are, maybe they don't with anyone, but i don't usually persist in interacting when i'm left with awkward small talk repeatedly. it feels like a waste of time. and it drains me more than being alone. i'm not sure where this leaves me. in some senses i feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. there's no going forward and there's no going back.
brendan's getting a tooth pulled right now. my dad took him. when they made their arrangements yesterday and my dad said good-bye he threw in a "i'm looking forward to seeing you in pain tomorrow" then hung-up. i thought that was hilarious, b was a little shocked but felt that if anyone else in the world had said that it would've been weird but coming from george it was completely normal.
bren and i were discussing extroverts the other day. it began to occur to me that there are many different kinds of extroverts and i'm slightly baffled by this. after observing an extrovert who bounces around from one person to the next without much sincerity i began feeling really annoyed at the more extro people group. but in talking to bren (who is a self-identified extrovert) she pointed out that it's not extrovertedness, or even immaturity, that creates the appearance of lack of sincerity, but rather it's a lack of depth. it's strange that i'd never realized this before. i feel kind of liberated now that i get this. i have to admit, there are times when i'm warry of people because i feel like they're kind of phony, i feel i don't have interest in investing in people who aren't real with me. but i suppose some people aren't very complex, they simply are what they are. i don't really know where that leaves me. i say quite often to b "i don't need to be friends with everyone", and i firmly believe that. i feel i need to be friendly with everyone, kind and true, but i don't click with everyone, and it's ok if we're not friends. i don't invest in relationships that i don't feel a connection. and although i think that's fair, i struggle with it a little bit. especially when my friends can connect with someone i can't, or even worse when brendan connects with someone i don't. i know a few people where i feel a barrier, a wall. i feel that they won't let me in to anything beyond the surface of who they are, maybe they don't with anyone, but i don't usually persist in interacting when i'm left with awkward small talk repeatedly. it feels like a waste of time. and it drains me more than being alone. i'm not sure where this leaves me. in some senses i feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. there's no going forward and there's no going back.
we're loving our netbook. we've only wrestled over it like small children once or twice :p and i quote "it's not fair, it's my turn!" that was me, we've got it sorted out since then. b and i tend to keep our things (foods, email/facebook, shampoo, toothpaste, computers) separate in order to keep peace. this works for us, i like it this way. so the netbook will be an adjustment, but it's a novelty and it will eventually be less novel.
2 comments:
One thing I have always admired about you, Les, is your ability to connect and be friends with a very diverse bunch of people. Your thoughts on connection and people made me think of that, so just thought I'd share it with you.
thanks rach. maybe that's part of the problem. that usually i connect with a variety of people so can't understand it when i don't connect with everybody. i know it's ok if i don't so i'm trying to not let it discourage me :)
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