when i lived in toronto, i sat in traffic congestion regularly. on occassion i'd be stuck on the 401 for a chunk of time. after a while i concluded that if everyone just drove faster we could all move along at a good pace. but eventually i realized that it wasn't the speed, but instead the volume. there were too many cars on the road, and it resulted in gridlock.
i'm feeling socially gridlocked. after spending some time trying to figure out my week, when i'm available and when i'm not, i've started to feel very overwhelmed. i got thinking about those cars in TO that fill the streets to the point of standstill, and finally admitted what the problem is. i have too many friends. i'm not ungrateful. i'm extremely fortunate and blessed to have my life full of fantastic people. people i really connect with and enjoy. but that does not change the reality that i have more relationships than i'm capable of juggling.
out of curiousity i did a search online to see what's a reasonable number of friends, and found a very interesting article. it said the ideal number of close friends (inner core) is 5, with about 10 more acquaintences on top of that. at first i thought i was on par. i used to have 5 in my inner circle. but upon recount i have 8 or 9, and then other friends on top of that, and regular acquaintences too. no wonder i feel overwhelmed. i'm not saying i want to cut out some of my friendships. not at all. i guess i'm just saying that i don't really know what to do. for a while now i've thought that it's because i work a 40 hour week that i'm short on time, but really it's that i have too much on the go. too many cars on the road.
i think it's in my best interest and in the best interest of the people around me that i invest more in fewer people, instead of invest less in more people.
i'm finding myself craving a clean slate. something similar to my christmas vacation when i have no commitments and no appointments. in two weeks i will be officially finished on the next church board. after that i may take a month off from everything (save living room because i lead that and can't skip out).
i'm sorry if i've been less available. it's not actually because of brendan or my change from single to relationship. but rather that my life has become overly saturated and it's more than i can handle. i'm too introverted for my environment and can't rise to the challenge. it's really not anyone's fault (in case you were wondering if you were part of the problem), except maybe mine or my blog. *sigh*
i feel so ridiculous. there are a lot of people in the world who are lonely and in want of a good friend. and here i am expressing that i have an over-abundance. i have both quality and quantity. i am a very lucky person, i don't deny that.
well i don't know where this leave me, other than trying to see the forest for the trees.
i'm feeling socially gridlocked. after spending some time trying to figure out my week, when i'm available and when i'm not, i've started to feel very overwhelmed. i got thinking about those cars in TO that fill the streets to the point of standstill, and finally admitted what the problem is. i have too many friends. i'm not ungrateful. i'm extremely fortunate and blessed to have my life full of fantastic people. people i really connect with and enjoy. but that does not change the reality that i have more relationships than i'm capable of juggling.
out of curiousity i did a search online to see what's a reasonable number of friends, and found a very interesting article. it said the ideal number of close friends (inner core) is 5, with about 10 more acquaintences on top of that. at first i thought i was on par. i used to have 5 in my inner circle. but upon recount i have 8 or 9, and then other friends on top of that, and regular acquaintences too. no wonder i feel overwhelmed. i'm not saying i want to cut out some of my friendships. not at all. i guess i'm just saying that i don't really know what to do. for a while now i've thought that it's because i work a 40 hour week that i'm short on time, but really it's that i have too much on the go. too many cars on the road.
i think it's in my best interest and in the best interest of the people around me that i invest more in fewer people, instead of invest less in more people.
i'm finding myself craving a clean slate. something similar to my christmas vacation when i have no commitments and no appointments. in two weeks i will be officially finished on the next church board. after that i may take a month off from everything (save living room because i lead that and can't skip out).
i'm sorry if i've been less available. it's not actually because of brendan or my change from single to relationship. but rather that my life has become overly saturated and it's more than i can handle. i'm too introverted for my environment and can't rise to the challenge. it's really not anyone's fault (in case you were wondering if you were part of the problem), except maybe mine or my blog. *sigh*
i feel so ridiculous. there are a lot of people in the world who are lonely and in want of a good friend. and here i am expressing that i have an over-abundance. i have both quality and quantity. i am a very lucky person, i don't deny that.
well i don't know where this leave me, other than trying to see the forest for the trees.
as long as we can live in harmony.
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