goat

one of my favourite things about next church is each sunday when i wake up i never know what to expect. something different or unexpected tends to happen each week. this week soon after i arrived i was walking up the middle isle towards the back and saw jason sitting there. it really suprised me, i stopped and said hello then told him i was going to sit with him and went to grab my stuff. i guess none of you will realize this, but jason was my highschool boyfriend who i was with for 3 years. sitting next to him was familar/normal and yet very strange/weird. i should be careful what i say because he's been to the next website and may find the link to my blog on it. oh well, what can you do.... "hey jay!!" what amazes me is, inspite the fact that we broke up over 6 years ago, there are still parts of our lives that are intertwined and i guess nothing is ever going to change that. small things. for example al was talking about the movie "mystery men" and i'm positive that jay and i saw that in the theatre. i know, its not a big deal, maybe i can't really explain it. its also funny that people can change so much, and yet stay exactly the same. i wonder if i seem different to him too.... well you never know, maybe we'll become friends again. something i've recently been thinking is that sometimes certain "stories" aren't yet finished even when we think they are. for example the movie "before sunset" is about a "couple" (i use that term loosely here) who met one night on a train and were supposed to meet up again but never did. they both thought their story was over until they bumped into each other in a bookstore 10 years later. now i realize this may be a little hard for you to grasp what i'm getting at, but what i'm saying is we never know what's going to happen in a year, 6 months, a week or a day. maybe we shouldn't so quickly think "i guess that will never work out" that being a job, relationship, experience, trip or whatever. just because it fell apart now, doesn't mean another opportunity will slip by later. i find that encouraging. somethings just take time, and there's no need to rush what will happen naturally in its own time.

i had lunch with kristen today. she's leaving for australia on saturday. it blows my mind that a lot will change by the time she gets back, but i know it will. its just the season of our lives. everyone is facing change of some sort. i think sometimes i forget that life is like the shifting of the worlds plates, even though it appears solid and unchanging its just an illusion.

time is a force
and it will surely take its course