butterfly

i find it hilarious that my entire family is crazy about george stroumboulopoulos and think the would be perfect for me. hahaha. i have to admit, they're getting better at identifying my taste in men. i recently came to the conclusion that i want to marry sufjan stevens... i wonder if he's available.

over lunch, joy and tim tried to explain to my mom's new housemate why i'm cool and they're not. she wasn't quite grasping what cool is, and thought that anyone who is just themself and didn't care what people thought was classified as cool. but joy told her that a lot of uncool people don't care what people think, and that doesn't make them less uncool. they ultimately decided that george stroumboulopoulos was cool, and this brought the conversation back round to him.

joy's friend donna thinks joy's very cool, and she laughs and says "no, my sister's cool". i find that strange. i'm not trying to be cool, i'm just me. i do what i want. so i was surprised to hear her say that with admiration. this has come up various times over the years, when we'd fight. she was always the outgoing sister and i was the cool sister. she was the well-liked sister, i was the different sister. i always felt as though i lived in her shadow, and i think she felt ordinary compared to me. i think we've since become more comfortable with who we are, and i find now that i want for her what she wants for her. and vise versa.

i think some people just ooze cool. like paul newman or james dean. there's no defining it or capturing it. there's no faking it either. i wish i could think of some cool chicks, but every one i think of is also pretty screwed up! why are all cool chicks screwed up somehow!?! that's very interesting to me.

wow! i've actually written an entire entry on one specific topic! that's a first!

cool my brains and soothe my head.