fixated

i'm cold. i'm cold. i'm so cold.

tonight's episode of grey's implied that not getting hugged enough increases stress. no wonder i have anxiety problems.

last night we had the hatch folding party and got them all done. it's pretty remarkable considering this time last week the layout wasn't complete yet. i took them all to work with me, and at the end of the day i stayed to trim them all on our guillotine machine. i didn't get out of there until 7:20. i was exhausted. i'm always amazed at how long things like that take. i don't mind doing it, but i was just too tired to go to the Y which means my work-out schedule for the week was a failure. anyways, the knickers noticed me with the box of hatches, and when she saw them she seemed excited that we'd done another one. she'd asked me for one last time but never commented on it so i didn't know what she thought. but seeing the new edition seemed to trig her memory and she told me that my piece last time was really good. i offered her a copy of this edition and she took it gladly! she told me "maybe i'll have to get you to start writing the brochures!" that would never happen, but it was quite a nice compliment. when i got home i was so pooped that i loafed on the couch and watched "big bang theory" for the first time. i quite liked it.

sometimes seeing those pictures makes my heart contract. they squeeze my heart and make me hurt a little.

i love that i'm finally learning to use a filter. relieved really. it's unfortunate that i learn the hard way, and that it's my cynicism that keeps me from opening my yap instead of good sense.

it's garbage night, but it's too freaking cold to put out the trash. so yet another week will go by with my garbage can and recycling overflowing.

i feel like such a freak.

i'm not trying to give my life meaning
by demeaning you
and i would like to state for the record
i did everything that i could do
i'm not saying that i'm a saint
i just don't want to live that way