hostage

this evening bren and i went to see the reader. as per usual we had no idea what it was about. we both loved it. it was a beautiful film. so lovely. truly beautiful. it's so satisfying to see a great movie.

i decided today that i will never own a white, grey, or blue-grey colour car (like the erbs' – even though it's a really nice colour) because they are impossible to see in the fog. and sometimes girls in red crvs accidentally back into them in parking lots. i was so upset and my heart was racing. then i felt angry and i remembered when rach equated anger with guilt the other day, and i totally agreed. there was no damage though, so it's ok. PHEW!

sometimes believing in God feels like being in a dysfunctional marriage. other times it's like a honeymoon.

i'm pmsing right now. i need to take extra care of myself because i'm super fragile. one of these days i might get up the energy to clean my apartment. then peace will reign supreme in my head and home. one of these days. but not this day. i need to get some rest.

during my lunch time walk "talk" the thin white duke remix of the coldplay song came on my ipod. it was a perfect reflection of how i'm feeling right now.

just because i'm losing doesn't mean i'm lost.