i don't think i should operate a sewing machine without proper supervision.... i shake my head at myself. why do i even try? i told you i suck with sewing machines.
sometimes i feel like i embody both my biggest fan and my worst enemy. i don't like that. life is confusing enough without division in my head. although, my worst enemy part is usually involving outside influence. how do you block those things out? i've found that even without a person in your life their words will still stick in your head and can make you feel rotten.
irina was telling me recently that one of her profs was saying people are most themselves when they're alone. i think that's true. none of this "best foot forward" stuff when you're by yourself. i like that idea. because, as you know, i've really been wrestling with this idea that people jump to conclusions about others and often mislabel them. sometimes i just want to say "no, no, no! you've got me ALL wrong!!"
however, i'm not less tortured when i'm alone.
i'm kinda not liking how my bag is turning out. its all wonky and wobbly. i'm not a perfectionist, so i don't exert a lot of effort on things. but maybe that a defense mechanism, that way i can be like "whatever, i don't care. i didn't try very hard anyway". i have a lot of defense mechanisms, another one being "oblivion". i'll pretend i don't know what's going on, or like i'm so distant from it mentally that i don't even care. but usually i care too much about just about everything. and on the odd occassion that i don't care either way about something i usually believe intensely about not having an opinion on that issue.
argh, my passion is my downfall.
you do it to yourself, you do
and that's what really hurts
you do it to yourself, just you
you and no-one else
7 comments:
oh les, i can so relate... and for the record, i'm glad to know you through pspd. it's a treat for me everyday.
cool!! thanks dawna, i apprecite that. that's a pretty nice compliment :) you're super radical. blogs are a pretty neat way to get to know people, i wish there were more opportunities to see you in person. i'm sure the day will come, maybe tomorrow even.
bummereeno about the sewing together not going very well. Will you be trying again? If it would cheer you up, I could tell you sometime about the long list of knitting projects which have ended up complete but languishing at the back of drawers and bottoms of closets because they were so disappointing. Oh wait, that might be really depressing and discouraging. Never mind.
nah, it makes me feel more normal. thanks! i find your failure encouraging ;)
Agreeing with Dawna. I totally admire how you get around to posting every single day, Lesley. I feel like I'm doing well to update my blog once a week.
And I share your distrust of sewing machines (or rather, distrust of ourselves using sewing machines). Knitting is great, but with sewing, you need to have an ability to follow lines: cut along them, sew along them, iron them straightly and pin them in place. It's just not my thing. I made curtains for the girls bedroom and they turned out all right, but there is this little dangly-bead fringe thing sewn on them and it kind of travels up and down hill as it crosses the curtain. Oh well. I'll stick mainly to knitting, I guess. It seems so much more predictable and easy to control.
i love writting every day. melinda makes fun of me and says my blog is my boyfriend. its kind of true.
maybe there are two kinds of people in the world. knitters and sewers. ah-ha, that looks like sewers - like sewage. hahaha. anyways, that's problematic, where do the crocheters fit in? maybe there are three kinds of people.
you're totally right. the straight lines get me every time!
Sewing isn't, for the most part, my thing either. Too finicky and not really portable. Also production is a problem. For the time you spend you don't seem to get much product. I DO have something for you though. Instructions about how to line a knitted bag!. How about THAT!!!! Michelle
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