beautiful

have you ever kind of thought that someone has ceased to exist because you haven't seen them in years?

sometimes i act like a 14-year-old. i wish i didn't. i find myself searching for reasons to justify by bad behaviour, to find fault in myself that will somehow excuse me. but i'm afraid its just how i am, and i'm gonna have to learn to deal with it. my good friend, who knows be better anyone (save my fam.), told me today "les, remember... not everything has to be a soap opera". she's right. it stung at first, but when her words sunk in, i knew it was true. its easier to take from her since she's a drama queen herself, although i think she's more sensitive than i am where i tend to be jaded. so what do i do now? can i overcome my soap opera antics? i hope so, but its gonna take self-discipline since i know it won't come easily.

to my delight(!!) i finally met kathy today at church. she's really super nice. i like her a lot. i wish we'd had longer to chat than a couple minutes, and i'm totally kicking myself for sitting at home and watching half of "the squid and the whale" (totally sux by the way) instead of going to EVEning sessions. oh i forgot to ask her if she got my postcard. kathy: did you get my postcard?

so i went to café india today after church (melinder... are you proud of me?!?!). i've never been a huge fan of indian, but i was just happy to be hanging out with some of our dearly returned. however, i did really enjoy the butter chicken. i'm all like "oooh, look at me... expanding my british palette".

i haven't seen you in a while. i'm worried about you. i hope you're ok.

come, ye weary, heavy-laden, lost and ruined by the fall.
if you tarry 'til you're better, you will never come at all.