long suffering?

i'm cold because i'm tired and grumpy. i'm just feeling upset and sensitive. my ears ache. i'm anxious about living room. i'm scared about kenya. and the way he refered to me as 'dude' bruised my ego. there's much going on in my life and none of it is within my control. not like i need to be in control, but i prefer to be proactive about things, it puts me at ease. but when there's nothing i can do it makes me feel helpless. i think i'm get into my 'jammies and get into bed, snuggling deep down at the bottom so that the sheets and blankets bunch up around me. i love having a single bed. i find it so amusing though that i downsided to a single at the age most people upgrade to a double or queen. it was much more practical, i do miss lying diagnolly across my double, it just didn't make logical sense having this double bed take up my small room. besides, i'd gotten into the habit of hardly moving at all when i sleep, i just rotate from my back to my side then to my back again.

this afternoon, meghan and i sat on my balcony while some kind of crazy pie auction was going on at the fair across the street. it was weird. this one guy paid 30 bucks for a pecan pie. granted that was unusual, most people paid 8 or 9. we also had to endure listening to some kind of crappy karaoke/country music competition. it was terrible.

i'm weirded out by the new itunes. the blue icon freaks me out a little – its so unfamilar! talk about putting me out of my comfort zone.

i've been thinking about something. there are times when there's nothing else to say because you can't cross the line of truth. you can talk about lots of things up until that line, and unless you're willing to talk about what's going on... there's nothing left to say. i wish i knew what was going on.

well my beds awaiting. i hope my ear stops aching, its been like 5 days! don't worry about me though, i'll be ok. i just need a hug.

it's like a day dream.