my muffler decided to spontaneously detach itself on my way to work this morning. and now everywhere i go, it loudly announces my approach. its still hanging on by some kind of umbilical cord. ah the beautiful purr of the batmobile. i'm gonna get it fixed tomorrow, i've just gotts to find that life-time warranty first.
i got to work early again (i didn't let my loose-tooth of a muffler slow me down any). i used my early arrival to start my new book – i'm reading velvet elvis. it's engaging me already.
meghan emailed me sometime in the night – my melancholy state did not go unnoticed by her – and suggested we get together tonight. i was touched by her thoughtfulness and took her up on her invitation without delay.
i've been wrestling between how much to say and how much to keep to myself. no particular topic and no particular reason to be reserved. but i feel there's something wrong with talking out of compulsion. i want to investigate what's said in the absence of speech. i live alone, so does that mean my life is alone? how much of myself is my individualism and how much of me is my community? where do i end and you begin? IS there a beginning and an end? it's all blended in my mind and i'm beginning to question the notion of me being contained in my vessel.
please be my seeing eye dog.
handle me with care.
4 comments:
i really like the way you've worded your dilemma, les. i know that i have a sense of myself as an individual, but i also know that different aspects of myself are brought out by different people, and paradoxically, i'd be less myself without the people in my life.
good thinking
i've actually just finished velvet elvis. i enjoyed it. i look forward to hearing from you when you're done.
Hey Lesley,
I'm looking forward to hearing more of your thoughts in life. You don't have to wait for my parents to invite you over while i'm home, i'm inviting you over! Well, i'm sure we'll see each other like you said even if it doesn't require a formal invitation. Man i gotta figure out how to sleep at night because i've still got a week until vacation and it's just not happening as of right now!!!
ciao
yes, i think that's true beck. i think we all smudge together. if life was literal piece of art, it wouldn't be a paint by number.
i've been a little late in the velvet elvis game. no doubt i'll enjoy it, i really like the dvds.
yay! super, i'm looking forward to it. it will be interesting to see how we've both change and how we're both the same. the grown-up versions of ourselves.
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