polysorin

whoa, i just had a battle between my inner good & evil about not wanting to do my dishes or put my clothes away. but good overcome. phew. this is going to be challenging.

so, i bought this totally awesome colourful boho shirt tonight at value village. i totally love it. its awesome. and i must admit, it was rachel erb inspired. in spite my years of dressing like a hippy i've strayed. but i love how rachel dresses and she's inspired me to get back to my artsy fartsy roots. oops, i almost typed farty. hahaaha. anyway, i'm very pleased because i'm getting a little better at judging my correct size. sarah is better at buying me my size than i am.

i check google news several times a day. it's my source for news. sometimes i just read the headlines and get the totally wrong impression. other times i read the article. its funny when i click on google news and find the headlines about my company. bbd (bombardier) is mentioned twice on in the business section today. funny.

there are mentalities ingrained in us. there's thought patterns taught to us. there are defense mechanisms that become dysfunction. the question is... where do we draw the line? we often get caught up in "this is who i identify myself to be" and "this is how i behave in response to exterior influences", maybe we should take ownership and break the cycle. i won't be type-cast as the girl from the broken home with abandonment issues. perhaps it was true at one point, but its not now. the only person who could change that was me, and i have. the excuse of your upbring will only take you so far. we have to take responsibility of our actions as adults and not blame the paths that led to them.

i crave summer time. i long for the days when its so blinkin' hot that i only sleep with one light sheet and a fan blowing. but instead i'll get into bed with my 8 blankets and try to get cozy. oh how i miss the heat waves.

i've hollowed out my heart so emotions can echo and drift apart.