nanaimo

i've made some solid progress since sunday. all of a sudden our kitchen feels so inviting. i like just sitting in there on the counter. it has a nice feel to it.

for some time now, i've been thinking about hanging a little curtain over the open cupboard space in the kitchen. when we moved here, we took the cupboard door off. we had a nook like that at the maxipad, but for some reason i haven't liked the nook here quite as much. there's something missing. i felt it needed more colour. it also looked messy. so yesterday, after an outing to fabricland, i cracked open my new/old sewing machine and set to work.

it took some time for me to refresh my sewing machine memory. as a teen, i was quite eager to learn to sew and make things. i even took a sewing class in high school. my first project turned out less than stellar in my teachers eyes and she criticized it in front of my classmates. ironically, before i was told how crappy it was i was really excited. this inevitably took the wind out of my sails. after that, from time to time, i'd try again, but eventually quit trying since i would break the needle every time i touched a sewing machine.

but i've concluded that unlike knitting and crocheting, which don't require practice (once you've learned those skills you're set), sewing is more like learning an instrument or sport, which has a greater learning curve. so i'm going to work on basic projects until i've got the basics figured out. so far i've broken 2 needles, BUT i bought 4 more AND i'm learning from my mistakes.

my first project (the shelf curtain) turned out fine. and in fact, it looks very nice. it really adds something to the room. i've also put all my postcards on the cupboard doors like i did at the maxipad. it's starting to really look and feel like our space, instead of some generic kitchen. i've very pleased.

she had her mind made up fast.

sow and crow

it's easy for me to spiral into worry about the future.

this is completely silly and relevant to us right now, but i've been worrying lately (the last 24 hours) about down the road when we have a second kid. our house isn't realistically suitable for 2 kids and 2 adults, and that only occurred to me yesterday. since then, this abstract reality has been plaguing my mind. because i love our house, having a+s upstairs, living on main street. thankfully we're nowhere near to having a second baby, so it's not an issue we'll have to face anytime soon.

as i was out for an autumn stroll today, i concluded the best way to minimize worry about the future, is to focus on the present. we have long-term plans with our current home, so we can keep investing in it. and it will be several years before we have another baby, so i can put my anxiety about moving on the back burner. i told a friend the other day that i've decided to stop borrowing worry. so instead, i'm going to turn my attention to current things.

so i've decided tomorrow, éamon and i will take the bus to fabricland and i'll work on learning to use my sewing machine. and i'll dig around in the basement for our twinkle lights to hang in the den.

i was outside working in the garden today. it's truly a shame that autumn is the best gardening weather. the humid heat of summer doesn't inspire me to be in the sun weeding. anyway, i concluded that this year's garden is a true testament to that parable of the weeds choking out the plants. terribly unfortunate. the soil we used this year was riddled with weed seeds. it was a losing battle. something to keep in mind next time.

a one of these days your heart will just stop ticking,
and they sorta just don't find you till your cubicle is reeking.

freebie

i've been doing a lot of thinking lately about alternate paths for my future. i'm still returning to work, but i've been imagining what it would be like if i didn't. i love being off work right now, and if it was a real possibility i'd definitely consider not returning. but ultimately, i don't thinking not working would fully satisfy me. i guess it would be nice to work part time.

anyways, i've started thinking about a second career. i still have over 30 years of work ahead of me, and i'm not sure if i want to be an office worker for the rest of my working days. for quite some time now, i've been feeling a desire to be in a helping field. nursing, caring, tending to people – specifically sick people. and i think i have a knack for it. so i've kind of concluded that if circumstances change at work (and truth be told, in my 10 years with bbd, there've been many times that our jobs have been in questions because of restructuring and what-not), i'm going to re-train in a new profession. i feel excited about this. it gives me a new sense of possibility.

after working in the middle of nowhere for a decade, i've been really enjoying spending my days downtown. i like frequenting local places and spaces on a weekday. i like seeing people out on their lunch breaks. i've been struck by the taste of a totally different pace and experience, which has gone me interested in exploring other vocations, in different locations.

i was in another lifetime,
one of toil and blood.

roadmap

all of a sudden, my house feels cold. it's chilly almost all the time, and coldest at night when i get up to nurse the baby. sometimes i have to remind myself that last year it wasn't so bad because i was pregnant and my body was just naturally warmer. so this year i have to adjust my expectations.

lately i find myself not wanting to get upset about things. i'd rather plod along, doing what i can, instead of getting worked up about things i can't change. i don't want to expend my energy on things beyond my reach or dive into conflict. it strikes me odd that there was a time when i did. it's hard to know if i'm just being lazy, or perhaps apathetic, but i don't think it's either of those things. i think i've just reached a point that i realized... if it's not this, it's that. i have to pace myself or this world will eat me alive. so i'm just going to work at staying calm.

i've been troubled today with the news of one my friends from work just had a major brain aneurism and it doesn't sound as though she's going to make it. this is on the heels on her 31 year old son dying suddenly from complications of cancer in july. i feel awful for her daughter, it's just too much. teri is a very warm person, we used to talk about books like we were gossiping about people in real life. while she's still living, i know that she's gone, and i'll never get to talk with her again. there's been too much death lately. especially related to work. but i suppose i shouldn't be surprised since most people at work are baby boomers. i guess that in the not so far future, the office will be a very different place to when i started there, because folks will start retiring soon too.

this entry seems much heavier than i feel. i'm well, and while i was out walking with b and éamon today, i was reflecting on how happy i am. maybe my vulnerability is coming out because i'm hungry. b's just finishing up cooking dinner.

take what your heart can take.

four/one

it's almost midnight and I'm sitting in the dark. my two guys are in bed, presumably asleep. I just downloaded a calorie count app for my iPod. I used this last fall when I was hoping to lose 15 pounds but got pregnant instead. now I have 30 pounds to drop before even reaching my previous starting line. I'm kind of discouraged. b keeps reminding me that it hasn't been that long since I had eamon, but I think my actual frustration is that it feels like I'm constantly losing weight, then gaining weight, then trying to lose it again. it's super annoying. I'm not sure what I was thinking, but for some reason I thought that breast feeding was some magic weight loss solution (this probably isn't a surprise to anyone else), but it's not.

besides that, I have a c-section belly. if you haven't had a c-section you probably don't know this, but not only does it leave a scar, but it also leaves a fatty shelf. I've been watching it shrink, but just learned that it will never completely go away :S

hence my discouragement.

well... I'm sure this app will help me. at the very least, I'm sure I'll think twice before I eat things like cake because I'll have to add it to my calorie counter.

the house is cold. I guess we're really into autumn now! it's only just going to get colder.

Sent from my iPod

rampage

i'm not always the most tactful person.

and often i feel badly about that later.

a older lady and gentleman just arrived on my doorstep to talk to me about the bible. it was awkward because i go to church and read the bible, so i'm not really the intended demographic (at least i don't think). because of that, i tried to keep it short as to not waste her time. in hindsight though, i probably could have been kinder and warmer. truth be told, i get my back-up about such interactions. she was clearly nervous and i'm sure she was out there knocking on doors because of her personal convictions. afterwards it occurred to me that she's probably someone's mom, and i imagined my own mom out there trying to encourage people to read the bible. while i wouldn't agree with it, i wouldn't want anyone to be rude to my mom.

i sincerely wasn't trying to be rude, but i wasn't trying to be loving either. instead, i was trying to be quick because she caught me in the middle of something. b said i should go out there and try and find her. maybe i should :S

come in, she said, i'll give ya shelter from the storm.

nothing

tonight i went to a neighbourhood meeting about the development of friendship park. it was down at rideaucrest home. for the most part, it was a good meeting. i've never attended such a meeting before, it made me feel like a very engaged citizen. i even asked two questions. it sounds as though these proposed plans are still in the early stages. they're replacing the tennis courts next summer as part of a city wide tennis court upgrade program. but the rest of the park won't be revitalized for several years. that's probably fine with me since none of the prayground equipment seemed targeted to babies or pre-schoolers. i quite liked both options. one thing i didn't vocalize, that i kind of wish i did, is that i think it would be smart and most effective, to make this park distinctly different to mcburney park. there's no sense in offering similar features. personally, i would like it if there was some kind of shelter for picnics in case of rain. but the park is so small that that's not really an option. i'm glad i went though.

i've been working really hard this week to be active. my belly has shrunk since giving birth, but i would really like to see quicker results. i suppose it'll take time, but with plenty of exercise and healthy eating, i should be able to lose 1 to 2 pounds a week. but i'm afraid my poundage remains unchanged. it doesn't help that our weighscale is super inaccurate. however, i feel like my legs are getting more firm/muscular. i can't remember when i did this much walking regularly. i'll just keep at it and try to be kind to myself. which isn't always easy.

you can have your cake and eat it too.

hair dryer/hand dryer

it's hard to believe that it's nearly the end of another week.

i'm super excited. yesterday éamon and i started swimming lessons! the little splashers for babies between 3 months to 18 months. i've been looking forward to this since i was pregnant. he LOVES splashing in the bathtub, so i figured he'd enjoy swimming too, and he did very well. it was SO FUN! we started with some songs, then putting faces in water. the teacher said it's important for babies to get used to putting their face underwater because if they don't do it until they're older, they're likely to be afraid to do it and it's harder to overcome. so she told us to blow in the baby's face so they scrunch up their nose, eyes and mouth, then to dunk them. so i did! and he did SO WELL (sorry, i'm going to brag a bunch, because it was really fun and i'm super proud of him). after we'd done it about 3 times, i looked around and noticed that none of the other babies hair was wet. so it seems he was the only one to do it. we did it a few more times. after that we did starfish on the front (basically him lying on this tummy in the water with his head up), then starfish on the back. then he 'swam' across the pool with a pool noodle (this was to practice kicking, which again he did really well). then we went back again on his back. then finished him the babies jumping into the water. since éamon was the youngest baby, i just lifted him in and out of the water. but by 18 months he will be able to jump into the pool. i can't wait til next week!!

my swimsuit arrived on tuesday. i ended up not getting either of the two i posted. i came across another one that i liked. it's a swimdress. it doesn't look as good on me as it does on her, but i like that it covers my bikini line since i gave up shaving that with my legs. i like it. it's very practical and comfortable. but it does remind me of the swimsuits that old ladies used to wear when i was young. it makes me feel like i'm turning into those women. those women who seemed so old.

whatever colors you have in your mind.

sour apples

hm, it's been a while since i wrote. unintentionally. it's funny that sometimes i have too much to say so i don't bother writing, and other times i have nothing to say, so again remain silent on the blog front.

to get quickly up to speed, i'll throw some random words out there:

• thanksgiving

• birthday

• beckie

• game night

• thanksgiving dinner

• barfing baby

• fridge

• swimsuit

on sunday, brendan turned 25 years old. while 25 is widely considered a milestone age, i was particularly excited about this event. when b and i first met, he was super young. when we started dating, he was still young, but now at 25, he's kind of plateauing off and just seems like a regular adult age. all that said, he never looked or acted young, but was still numerically young nonetheless.

i should probably go. i have some things to do around the house. i'd planned to start swimming with éamon today, but it turns out that's on monday and wednesdays, not tuesdays. i think i got it in my head that it's on the first day of the week so i thought it was today. but in the meantime, i'll go pick up my new swimsuit at JUST HIFI (which is oddly, also a sears drop-off location).

oh! one last thing. remember how i was thinking about cutting my hair back in august? well... i'm super glad i didn't. instead i've been wearing it in braids for 2 months. yesterday i felt like a change so i just put in a low ponytail and discovered that my hair is getting super long. it's probably the longest ponytail i've had in years! i love it! i'm gonna keep growing it :)

it's nice being able to encourage other pregnant people. my old housemate bonnie is overdue and is going to be induced on friday. she's really scared about that. when i shared with her my experience (that things didn't go as planned, but it was still very positive), she felt relieved and encouraged. being able to inspire hope to other people is another wonderful surprise from my birth experience.

you used to feel like a forest fire burning.

firmer

so far i've done my online aerobic routine twice, and MAN is it effective. in spite the fact that my ability is limited and i can barely keep up, i still break a major sweat and my face becomes very flush. i'm pleased and feel like i've really had a good workout. just doing the eliptical for a half hour has a significantly less impact. i always judge the quality of my workouts by whether or not i have to shower afterwards. so far i'm convinced that if i can keep this up, i will see results in no time. the only downside is that i look completely ridiculous to anyone who can see me thru the window.

last night éamon and i took the express bus to marilyn's husband's wake. it felt like the first time in a while that i'd been out and about after dark, and i was struck by the fact that almost every house that i passed that i was able to see in side, there was a person sitting near the window at a computer. i don't really know what that says really, but it made me a little uncomfortable. the ironic thing is that anyone passing by our house right now would see me doing the exact same thing. it was really a lovely evening to be out. the weather was ideal. after the wake, i sat on the curb waiting for b to come pick us up on his way home from napanee. i bet éamon that daddy was going to come from the left, and so by default he guessed that b would come from the right. he came from the left, so i won.

just a side note: i'm getting a roller blind installed on the den window :p

good times never seemed so good.

oatmeal

for most of my adult life, i've experience waves of weight loss and weight gain. shortly after i turned 24 (and a rapid, unexpected weight gain), i decided that i was going to take charge. i'd been to enough aerobic classes in college (just for fun) that i knew what to do, so i began doing aerobics in my bachelor apartment. and it worked. i did my half hour improvised workout regularly at home, and the pounds started coming off. eventually i joined a gym because i reached a plateau, but it was a good starting point, and was effective. i'm growing a little tired of my baby-weight and it's making me feel kind of crummy. after my last experience of getting a gym membership and having to pay for a year in full up front (then eventually flushing half a year down the drain), i know that paying to be fit is not a good use of money for me. so, i looked up a fitness program online tonight, and found one that i think will really work. it's very similar to what i used to do, but i'm a bit rusty so i wouldn't be able to lead my own routine, which is why i like this one. if it wasn't almost midnight, i would start tonight! i watched it though, and surprisingly found that i was sweating. haha. i'm excited. i think it would be really good for me, and i'm motivated. currently currently i'm a size 15. it would be nice to at least be a size 12 again, but ideally i'd like to be a size 10 – which is what i was aiming for before i got pregnant. ten years ago i got down to a size 8, but i'd be happy with a 10. i have a pair of jeans i've been keeping for just such the occasion! i THINK most of my extra weight is just in my belly area. i might be wrong, but from my angle in the mirror, my face looks unchanged.

i'll try to set realistic goals. therefore, i'm going to try to be a comfortable size 14 by christmas. then maybe size 13 by the end of february?

just nod if you can hear me.

spit

while i'm disappointed that my period has returned so soon after éamon's birth (i was seriously hoping it would be over a year), i'm delighted that i no longer have menstrual cramps. what a wonderful bonus! it's like my body is saying "wow, that was nuts! here's a little peace offering to make up for it". also (so far) i haven't had any PMS either. that said, i'm still finishing off my placenta pills, so maybe that's part of it.

earlier this week, when i was starting to come down with a cold, i was short on kleenexs, so i would grab the closest receiving blanket instead. afterwards, i realized that that must be what it's like to use a handkerchief. so know i'm on this handkerchief kick. i've been looking on etsy, but am not convinced it's the best option. maybe i should just buy some fabric and make my own. after all, i've been wanting to learn how to use my sewing machine.

for the second time in one month, brendan and i have just bought a new fridge. the first one was for andrew and shannon, but this one is for us. the seal tore around the door and now it won't stay shut. when it first happened i called the fridge doctor, but he advised me that considering the make of the fridge, it's not worth repairing. so we started all over at looking for fridges. i'm pleased with the one we got, and it was on sale. i'm hoping that it's slightly bigger than the one we have, but won't really be able to tell til they're side by side or we put food in the new one. it arrives on thursday. i've been wanting to clear out the fridge of expired stuff, so this is a good excuse.

well, i knew that i could not say.

flours in my hair

in the past, i've often felt like i just need a good solid break from my regular life. many times i've wondered just how long of a break would i need before i'd be completely unwound and fresh. i've been on maternity leave for three months now, and i can safely said that i feel completely relaxed. it's really lovely. lovely lovely lovely. i love that. i'm glad that i still have many months to go. and i'm hoping that i'll be able to carry forward some of this freshness.

i've decided to ask my boss if i can cut down to a 36 hour week when i return to work so that i can have wednesday afternoons off. b has wednesday afternoons off and i love having that time with him. sometimes we do errands (like appliance shopping), sometimes we take outings (like trips to westport or the wilton cheese factory), somtimes we do chores and sometimes we just hangout. today we took a long walk downtown and ate at the farm girl food truck in city park. we were going to go to 'seed to sausage' but they're closed on wednesdays in their off season. i really think it would be beneficial for me to have one afternoon off a week. i'm optimistic that she's approve it. especially since 35 hours is a common work week in canada.

all i really want our love to do
is to bring out the best in me and in you.

astronaut boots

shanno, éamon and i went for an adventure at the mall today. we rode the bus and spent the afternoon as mall rats and ate dinner in the food court. my plan was to buy a swimsuit, but ended buying éamon a pair of jeans.

we looked at baby clothes, sat on the floor in sears while i breastfed, tried on shoes and went to target twice. shannon bought socks and one of the employees from new york fries told me about how often he changes his bedsheets. that part was awkward; otherwise, it was a fun day.

now i'm stuck looking for a swimsuit online. shannon recommended that i order two of the same suit in different sizes and return the one that doesn't fit properly. that's what her mom used to do when they lived in the country. i think that's very clever!

i have a swimsuit, but i want to buy a 1-piece. especially since i want to start infant swimming lessons in a few weeks. the disappointing thing, is that a couple weeks ago i found a really beautiful 1-piece suit on the sears website and now it's not available :S pickings are slim. i hate how expensive swimsuits can be.

have you ever heard of a joggertini? apparently that's a thing. i can't even imagine what that's supposed to be!

there's part of me that is drawn to the idea of a tankini – they're aesthetically pleasing. but i like the simplicity of a 1-piece.

ok. i need some opinions. which do you prefer. this 'swimdress' or this 'halter suit'. my housemate has no opinion on the matter and i need some feedback.

on a completely separate note, i just want to say that no one is defaming anybody.

AND i find it disappointing when people copy my creativity on facebook. hmph!

don't dismiss it like it's easy.

uncentered

this wednesday brendan installed our dryer. i love it. i feel like washing every thing just for the fun of it. not only that, i've started éamon in cloth diapers, and i get a real kick out of watching his diapers bleach clean in the sun. ah, it's the little things :)

i've been moving some furniture around the exile, and am pleasantly surprised at how spacious our den feels. it almost echos. i get a great deal of satisfaction out of maximizing space in a small house. it's also a nice reminder of what we can do without. i'm thankful for our basement, even if it's pretty disorderly down there. it's nice having a place to put things.

i'm really enjoying my mat leave. i feel like i'm especially enjoying it since i know it's temporary. that makes me appreciate it more, but it also helps my sense of identity to know that i'm returning to my previous role. shari painted my belly cast for us. it turned out beautiful, and i love seeing it hang on the wall beside éamon's crib. for some reason it makes me feel like a full fledged mama to have my finished belly cast. it feels similar to having my college diploma in the wall.

though there was a time when you and i were friends.

brown vent

it probably wasn't until i was pregnant that i really thought about what it's like to be a next kid. it's definitely a distinct thing, like being part of a family. i like that éamon belongs to a community beyond our family that care about him, enjoy him and watch him grow. nexters, myself included, get the privilege of watching these kids grow up. i like that as a group we can recall things about them, remembering quirks or things they did when they were smaller. i like that they're all different and that they're diversity reflects the diversity of the bigger world. they make us laugh, and often make us wonder.

my dad asked me the other day "did you know him well?" and i said "as much as the other kids at next. they're all like nieces and nephews". i love my actual nieces and nephews in a different way than the next kids, but i enjoy having them as part of my life just as much.

next weekend, we're going to echo lake for this year's next retreat. i'm really looking forward to it. these days it's easy and convenient to spend my evenings at home alone (or with b). and while i am enjoying this as a novelty, i am looking forward to long conversations with a variety of folks, spending time doing dishes together, eating together, sitting around on couches together, playing games together. connecting. i think it will do us all good <3

we are like windows,
stained with colours of the rainbow.

vanilla

last sunday evening, shannon hosted a surprise belly blessing for meghan. as part of the gathering we played madlibs with a story crafted by shannon. it was really funny. in hearing the humourous fictional birth stories over and over, it got me thinking about my birth story with éamon. and afterwards i concluded that i'd live that experience over again in a heartbeat. every part. in spite of the disappointments and twists and turns, it was a really great experience and i wish i could live it again as simply as re-watching a favourite movie. and just like with watching a movie for the second time, i'd know the outcome, so i'd be more relaxed and i'd be able to enjoy every small detail with deep appreciation. looking back on an experience and wishing "again, again!" is always the mark of cherished life event.

yesterday, b, éamon and i went to toronto for a jays game. i haven't been to a baseball game since i lived in TO, but i came up with the idea to go to a game since i figured it would be a good activity to do with a baby. it was really fun. we took the GO train and arrived earlier than expected (i'd anticipated multiple stops, but we didn't need any). we had really nice and close seats. AND we had 50 bux burning a hole in my pocket. we're participating in this queen's study on first time parents, and we decided to use that money for our trip to the ballpark. everything went really well. éamon was a little fussy when we first arrived. a lady sitting close to us asked if it was too loud for him, but i told her he was just grumpy, and he soon fell asleep. we actually thought the noise level was good since it drowned out his cries and didn't disturb the people around us. that said, he only fussed for 5ish minutes, then slept through the rest of the game. there were these two girls behind us who where there with their boyfriends. they just yapped through the whole thing and were super annoying, but seemed to talk less as time went on. b thinks they were picking up on the fact that everyone around them were trying to watch the game. i haven't watched a lot of baseball since the early 90s, so i was surprised to discover that all the honoured players who's names were on display were people i knew.

i bought a hot dog from a vendor after the game. he was yelling something to attract customers. it sounded like he was saying "i love the ladies" over and over.

this is how we do it.

pierce

i'm pretty sure someone is living in their car out front of our house. it has american plates, a makeshift bed in the back, and a pair of jeans draped over the roof of the car. i wonder if there's something i should do. drop of a box of crackers or something. it seems like a temporary living situation.

when my parents sat us down to tell us that my dad was thinking about leaving, i didn't really know what i felt. it was confusing and upsetting. i remember that my stomach ached. i remember running after him and hugging him around his waist and telling him that i still loved him. i don't remember if i cried. i didn't cry two months later when he did eventually leave – very abruptly. i didn't talk about it with anyone. i withdrew. i'm an introvert who deals with her feelings surprisingly stoically. i say surprisingly because i'm someone who expresses feelings of joy very openly. no doubt, i would've eventually talked out my feelings if there had been a safe person who knew how to draw me out. but instead, it took over ten years before i took time to process my feelings and cry. thinking back, that only happened because someone gently asked the right questions and made me feel safe enough to let down my guard.

this probably goes without saying, but i'm someone who writes. i write so i can process. i can say things in writing that i can never articulate out loud. i don't know if i'm emotionally stunted or if it's just my nature, but i don't respond to sorrow the way other people do. i don't cry when things are sad. i don't want to be with others and share the sadness. i withdraw because, for me, pain (any kind of pain) is private and requires space.

i'm struggling right now because my response is so different than everyone else's. i know that my feelings are just as deep and complex as everyone else's, but i process and cope much differently. i guess i'm just not sure if i'm normal (healthy, well adjusted) or if there's something wrong with me.

when i cannot sing my heart,
i can only speak my mind.

sudden

sometimes when awful things happen in life, i distract myself. like right now.

b and i watched a documentary on netflix last night called "the other f word" about punks and fatherhood. it was interesting. i have to admit, there's a much larger punk underground than i was aware of. it mostly featured guys from punk bands who now have wives and families. i was surprised that most of the wives just seem like regular soccer moms. anyways, it seems that all those dudes are committed fathers. it also seems like they all had really rotten fathers themselves, but were determined to be the kind of dads they didn't get to have. it was hope-inspiring. it was also disturbing that there wasn't a single one of them that had a healthy relationship with their dad. i would ask "what does this tell us?", but i already know.

it's hard to be distracted for long. i just feel sick to my stomach. i'm eager for brendan to get home. i just want him near, even if we're silent.

everything's gonna be alright
rockabye, rockabye, rockabye.

familiar

there's nothing like a pair of jeans to prompt someone into being mindful of what they eat.

now that the chillier weather is upon us, it occurred to me that the only pair of pants i fit into are yoga pants. so éamon and i took the bus to the riocan yesterday to go jean shopping. it seems to me that baby weight hits the middle and the face, while the rest of me feels pretty normal. now that i'm wearing these unrelenting pants (i made sure to get some that were slightly snug, knowing that they would loosen with use), i consider myself on the road to weightloss. not that i'm in a major hurry, but i feel that i've reached my statues of limitations for eating random things. it's just tricky being allergic to the most convenient of fruits :S oh well, i'll find a way around that as usual.

the bus was fun. for a few moments i thought i'd like to be a city bus driver. but then i changed my mind and decided i'd like to get paid to ride around on the bus all day people watching.

brendan has wednesday afternoons off, and i've been enjoying his company all summer. i'm glad that we'll continue to have those afternoons off together even though it's september. this afternoon we bought andrew and shannon a new refrigerator :D it felt funny walking into a store and telling the staff "we'd like to buy a fridge" because i've never done that before. it also felt funny that they staff treated us like adults with the means to buy a fridge. we also bought a dryer, which we'll pick up next wednesday (it had to be ordered in because it's a compact drier).

hard times ain't gonna rule my mind.