i don't like ice in milk or ice in orange juice. both are gross.
i felt compelled to watch little women this weekend. i didn't watch a lot of movies growing up. we didn't have a vcr until i was 9 and even that was rented. the first movie i went to see in the movie theatre was "caught - a billy graham film" and it totally freaked me out. not the big screen or the sound, but the content scared the crap out of me. i don't recall my parents showing any concern at my fear, maybe they didn't notice me on the floor with my ears plugged and eyes shut singing about the little green frog. anyways, little women (the 1949 version) was one film i remember watching on multiple occassions. since i've been reading gone with the wind i wanted to watch a civil war era film. brendan was reluctant at first. but in the end, jo won him over.
speaking of things i used to be afraid of... i'm less terrified of having kids lately. i'm not saying i want to have a baby right now, but i'm feeling more peaceful about that kind of life change. we're so fortunate to have parents and siblings in town, i know we'll be surrounded with loving and supportive friends and family. i feel that 2 is managable. we can mentally, emotionally, physically and fiscally manage two lorimerettes. (when i say ette, i mean "little" not necessarily female).
i burnt my tongue last night really badly :S now it's sore and swollen. have i learned my lesson i wonder.
you'll be a bright light coming out of the dark.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
hang-nail
i've been doing a lot of browsing and purchasing on etsy in the last week. i have to admit, it's very fun. i'm excited for my new purchases to arrive in the mail. it feels nice after a month or so of penny pinching that i once again have some pocket money.
yesterday we took a long walk downtown and made a few stops on the way there and back. i was tired near the end and b had to pull me so i'd make it home again.
david preached a great sermon about consumerism and generosity this morning. it was very challenging and yet reassuring at the same time. i felt once again reminded that our norm in north america is not the norm world wide, and i need to remember that to keep myself in check. the most shocking part of the sermon was not only when he gave $5 to a random guy in the pews, but then proceeded to pass around a stack of 5s to everyone to take one or more depending on our needs. it was a great object lesson and one we won't soon forget. generosity, it's rare and kind of visceral. kudos to david for having the courage to be an example of being open fisted. that was a lesson i won't be soon forgetting.
sometimes the lifestyle that comes from faith in jesus doesn't make sense. like boldly giving, forgiving, loving, or showing grace, or striving for selflessness. sometimes it doesn't always make sense to me at first thought, but then i make room for less of me and it's easier to live illogically.
i knitted a little more to the length of this sock than the other one. that's ok though, it's only a slight different.
what you've done echoes on and on.
yesterday we took a long walk downtown and made a few stops on the way there and back. i was tired near the end and b had to pull me so i'd make it home again.
david preached a great sermon about consumerism and generosity this morning. it was very challenging and yet reassuring at the same time. i felt once again reminded that our norm in north america is not the norm world wide, and i need to remember that to keep myself in check. the most shocking part of the sermon was not only when he gave $5 to a random guy in the pews, but then proceeded to pass around a stack of 5s to everyone to take one or more depending on our needs. it was a great object lesson and one we won't soon forget. generosity, it's rare and kind of visceral. kudos to david for having the courage to be an example of being open fisted. that was a lesson i won't be soon forgetting.
sometimes the lifestyle that comes from faith in jesus doesn't make sense. like boldly giving, forgiving, loving, or showing grace, or striving for selflessness. sometimes it doesn't always make sense to me at first thought, but then i make room for less of me and it's easier to live illogically.
i knitted a little more to the length of this sock than the other one. that's ok though, it's only a slight different.
what you've done echoes on and on.
Friday, February 25, 2011
confidential
i bought some socks at the bay yesterday with the remainder of a gift card. they're called "all day socks", i hope they live up to their name. the weird thing about that purchase is that there was still 37 cents left on the card and the sales lady insisted that i keep it. the frickin bay wouldn't give me 37 cents. the lady said "think of it this way, your next purchase will be 37 cents off" :S
brendan, beckie and i were talking about friendships. it seems in our culture friendship is understood to be something that you're in or you're out. like a hula hoop - either you're all in or all out, or sometimes one foot is in and the other is out, sometimes it's twirling around on one limb (i think this analogy is breaking down...)
as the three of us talked we recognized that friendships are not the same as romantic relationships where there's an official committment and usually a clear beginning and end. which is good, we're glad they're different. friend break-ups are awkward and painful, and we concluded that they're bizarre because they resemble a committed relationship rather than plutonic kinship. friendships are more free-flowing. i think on the whole we need to be ok with the fact that sometimes our friendship connections are strong, and sometimes they're loose. sometimes our friendships fade away for no apparent reason other than the passing of time. beckie said "why can't we just be ok with the fact that friendships fade" (or something to that effect), and i think that's an excellent point. i work hard at my friendships, but perhaps i need to learn to be more relaxed about them. to learn that like the wind they will be strong and gusty at times, and other times they'll be mild and calm. sometimes the wind will blow us in different directions, it's not a bad thing, it doesn't mean we are now sworn enemies. it just means that we're growing and changing in new ways and don't necessarily cross paths anymore.
we often get let down by changes in friendship. when our pals lives change, or they move away, or we move away. i think it's the disappointment that hurts the most. i'm going to change my expectations, have a more realistic approach to my connections. not that i've been hurt lately, but i fear hurting others. it's liberating to know that friends are a wonderful optional addition, not an obligation that requires - nay, demands - something from me.
i'm reading gone with the wind right now. it's super funny. i don't think it's meant to be, but it's so backwards i can't help but be amused by it.
i needs a cuppa tea.
brendan, beckie and i were talking about friendships. it seems in our culture friendship is understood to be something that you're in or you're out. like a hula hoop - either you're all in or all out, or sometimes one foot is in and the other is out, sometimes it's twirling around on one limb (i think this analogy is breaking down...)
as the three of us talked we recognized that friendships are not the same as romantic relationships where there's an official committment and usually a clear beginning and end. which is good, we're glad they're different. friend break-ups are awkward and painful, and we concluded that they're bizarre because they resemble a committed relationship rather than plutonic kinship. friendships are more free-flowing. i think on the whole we need to be ok with the fact that sometimes our friendship connections are strong, and sometimes they're loose. sometimes our friendships fade away for no apparent reason other than the passing of time. beckie said "why can't we just be ok with the fact that friendships fade" (or something to that effect), and i think that's an excellent point. i work hard at my friendships, but perhaps i need to learn to be more relaxed about them. to learn that like the wind they will be strong and gusty at times, and other times they'll be mild and calm. sometimes the wind will blow us in different directions, it's not a bad thing, it doesn't mean we are now sworn enemies. it just means that we're growing and changing in new ways and don't necessarily cross paths anymore.
we often get let down by changes in friendship. when our pals lives change, or they move away, or we move away. i think it's the disappointment that hurts the most. i'm going to change my expectations, have a more realistic approach to my connections. not that i've been hurt lately, but i fear hurting others. it's liberating to know that friends are a wonderful optional addition, not an obligation that requires - nay, demands - something from me.
i'm reading gone with the wind right now. it's super funny. i don't think it's meant to be, but it's so backwards i can't help but be amused by it.
i needs a cuppa tea.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
verbatim
i'm becoming semi obsessed with good quality sox. i have favourite socks and least favourite socks. unfortunately, the number of crappy socks out number the awesome socks. a true dilema if i've ever seen one. so because of this, i think i've come up with a plan. i'm going to order one pair of awesome socks a month. i know i could go to the store and buy some, but i hate errands, and i like the idea of socks arriving in the mail. the great thing about my once a month sock purchase is that i can improve my footware without great expense. little by little i will build a wardrobe worth of my toes :p they will keep me warm and dry.
it seems in quebec, male employees will enter the women's washrooms for scheduled checks and cleanings, while the ladies are still in the stalls. that happened to me twice! i consider myself more easy going about such things than most - if there was a scale between 1 to 10, 1 being horrified, and 10 being completely comfortable, i'd be a 6 or 7. i think i was more puzzled about this new approached and was surprised by the breach of bathroom etiquette.
i say high, you say low
you say why, and i say i don't know.
it seems in quebec, male employees will enter the women's washrooms for scheduled checks and cleanings, while the ladies are still in the stalls. that happened to me twice! i consider myself more easy going about such things than most - if there was a scale between 1 to 10, 1 being horrified, and 10 being completely comfortable, i'd be a 6 or 7. i think i was more puzzled about this new approached and was surprised by the breach of bathroom etiquette.
i say high, you say low
you say why, and i say i don't know.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
couche-tard
we got lost in montreal again. it turned out totally fine, but at the time i really had to pee and we were really low on gas. stressed me out! then (for about 10 minutes) i thought i lost my wallet, but it was on the floor in the backseat of the car - thankfully.
it was a really great trip, and i appreciate the fact that we can do fun things like that, especially at minimual expense. i've been thinking about something i heard in a show i was watching at beck's place. the character said "when did life become something you buy". that really stuck with me. i don't want my life to be about buying things. it's not something you purchase, it's not about the things we have. it makes me disappointed that our culture is so obsessed with the latest and greatest. it's not even "keeping up with the jones's" anymore, but rather keeping up with market introduction. we've been told that wants are now needs, and we live in a society of people who live above their means in order to have those "needs".
b and me, we don't have cellphones, we don't have cable tv, we don't have a blu-ray player or current electronics. most of our furniture is used or hand-me-downs. and we live in a tiny one-bedroom apartment. some would think we're kind of lame. but the reality is, very few people can have EVERYTHING they want, so we all have to pick and choose how we want to spend our time and money. my dad has a neighbour who spends 500 bux a month on satellite. the guy has hundreds of channels, but i suspect he doesn't go anywhere or do anything interesting. we all pay in one way or another. we give up something to get something else. us lorimers, we try to live frugally in order to do other things we like more.
speaking of things we don't have... beckie gave me her old rabbit ears! we now get one channel - cbc! hooray! i'm very excited about this. i like that it's kinda retro. i want to digress a little. sometimes it's hard to keep life simple, but i think it's important and more sustainable (see above paragraph).
you say yes, i say no.
you say stop, and i say go go go!
it was a really great trip, and i appreciate the fact that we can do fun things like that, especially at minimual expense. i've been thinking about something i heard in a show i was watching at beck's place. the character said "when did life become something you buy". that really stuck with me. i don't want my life to be about buying things. it's not something you purchase, it's not about the things we have. it makes me disappointed that our culture is so obsessed with the latest and greatest. it's not even "keeping up with the jones's" anymore, but rather keeping up with market introduction. we've been told that wants are now needs, and we live in a society of people who live above their means in order to have those "needs".
b and me, we don't have cellphones, we don't have cable tv, we don't have a blu-ray player or current electronics. most of our furniture is used or hand-me-downs. and we live in a tiny one-bedroom apartment. some would think we're kind of lame. but the reality is, very few people can have EVERYTHING they want, so we all have to pick and choose how we want to spend our time and money. my dad has a neighbour who spends 500 bux a month on satellite. the guy has hundreds of channels, but i suspect he doesn't go anywhere or do anything interesting. we all pay in one way or another. we give up something to get something else. us lorimers, we try to live frugally in order to do other things we like more.
speaking of things we don't have... beckie gave me her old rabbit ears! we now get one channel - cbc! hooray! i'm very excited about this. i like that it's kinda retro. i want to digress a little. sometimes it's hard to keep life simple, but i think it's important and more sustainable (see above paragraph).
you say yes, i say no.
you say stop, and i say go go go!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
st lawrence river
we traveled east. leaving at 7:40 am and arrived at 1:30.we only got lost once in montreal, and i totally expected to, because it's not easy to navigate. driving over the bridge into quebec city was amazing. thankfully at that point our drive was almost over because cabin fever was starting to set in :p i love road trips.
when the nakedness comes
i am shocked by the colour
i'm having a super great time with beck and brendan. it's been so relaxing and easy going. we've been hanging out, chatting, eating, laughing, walking. we spent the whole afternoon in old quebec, wandering and exploring. it was definitely winter out, but i like feeling winter's chill and defrosting afterwards. it makes me really happy that beck and b get along so well. we went to this microbrewery last night, it they only serve beer there and have menus from other restaurants available so you can order take out to be delivered. very cool. i had a cherry & vanilla stout. it felt funny that we couldn't speak with the server and beckie had to translate for us. it was very amusing in a good way. we concluded that the pub was like a beer version of the goat.
beckie's house is pretty cool. we have a fire going in the fireplace, and the puppies are outside. b really liked the dogs, i'm glad he finally got to meet them since i've told him all about them. they're so funny, and BIG!
i am shocked by the colour
the glorious weight of your skin.
Friday, February 18, 2011
staple
sometimes i wonder what it would be like to be a sinus.
crimson and clover is one of my all-time favourite songs. i don't know why. i simply love everything about it. i think melinda is the only person who knows that about me. it's not a secret or anything, it just doesn't come up very often. it doesn't get a lot of play these days. it's a stellar song.
there's two things i've never seen my mom do: chew gum or run.
you can't show your bosom before 3:00
crimson and clover is one of my all-time favourite songs. i don't know why. i simply love everything about it. i think melinda is the only person who knows that about me. it's not a secret or anything, it just doesn't come up very often. it doesn't get a lot of play these days. it's a stellar song.
there's two things i've never seen my mom do: chew gum or run.
you can't show your bosom before 3:00
Thursday, February 17, 2011
twine
my alarm clock didn't go off this morning :S i should've been suspicious because i felt well rested when i woke up. so annoying. i can't figure out why! that alarm clock is so unreliable. i like it because the numbers are green and it's easy to set, but all in all it's functionality is a disappointment. i threw on some clothes and my glasses, packed my lunch and headed to work. didn't shower, didn't brush my teeth, didn't eat breakfast. i hate starting days this way - late and flustered.
we had the AGM last night. i felt it went pretty well. i was telling b afterwards that it will take some time for me to adjust to the reality that i'm not on the board anymore. probably not until the first meeting that i miss. i think it will be good, but an adjustment. i've been privy to the interesting ins and outs of church life, and had a lot of say in the direction we go in. i think i'm going to have to find a new place in the mix since i don't really remember what it was like prior to.
our list exchange on monday evening was great. the items made me laugh and cry. it was a very bonding experience, like we were bound more tightly together, and afterwards we just sat really close on the couch talking about our days and arcade fire. that's a definite new tradition. i'm actually looking forward to next valentine's day.
this weekend we're hitting the road. we're driving to quebec city to visit beckie, her city and her dogs. i'm feeling super excited. i love roadtrips with brendan and i'm excited about our destination too. i haven't been to q-city since 1993. but i LOVE montreal, so if i like quebec a fraction of my affection for its contemporary then it's going to be a love-in. we're leaving first thing saturday morning (cross my fingers... 7 am!), and will return on monday. i'm looking forward to it!
you've got the world to see.
we had the AGM last night. i felt it went pretty well. i was telling b afterwards that it will take some time for me to adjust to the reality that i'm not on the board anymore. probably not until the first meeting that i miss. i think it will be good, but an adjustment. i've been privy to the interesting ins and outs of church life, and had a lot of say in the direction we go in. i think i'm going to have to find a new place in the mix since i don't really remember what it was like prior to.
our list exchange on monday evening was great. the items made me laugh and cry. it was a very bonding experience, like we were bound more tightly together, and afterwards we just sat really close on the couch talking about our days and arcade fire. that's a definite new tradition. i'm actually looking forward to next valentine's day.
this weekend we're hitting the road. we're driving to quebec city to visit beckie, her city and her dogs. i'm feeling super excited. i love roadtrips with brendan and i'm excited about our destination too. i haven't been to q-city since 1993. but i LOVE montreal, so if i like quebec a fraction of my affection for its contemporary then it's going to be a love-in. we're leaving first thing saturday morning (cross my fingers... 7 am!), and will return on monday. i'm looking forward to it!
you've got the world to see.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
pew
i don't know why (or if it should) but i'm surprised to discover that i'm really enjoying my job. i've sat in this cubicle for 7.5 years, and over that course of time i went from being a young new designer, to a capable and knowledgable team member who held down the fort while her boss's husband was dying, to the reliable and consistant employee, to a disgruntled and frustrated minion, to a thriving and challenging designer/copywriter. i'm really grateful, and am amazed that i could experience so many different roles while remaining in this cube.
the approach of my former boss to my current boss couldn't be more different. emma really wants to develop my ability and give me more opportunities to contribute. i'm really happy about this. i'm now in the lead for the newsletter and after a rocky start (i'm not used to managing other people), it's come together really well! i'm pleased!
last night i sat around in the living room watching the tv feeling kind of restless. i couldn't figure out what to do with myself, and finally discovered it was because i was looking forward to returning to work this morning and continuing what i was doing when i'd left. i've gone from "ugh, it's only 3 pm, i still have an hour and a half to kill" to "oh no! it's 3 pm! i only have an hour and a half left to get this done!" i feel like an old married person discovering re-infatuation with their spouse. it's kind of funny how i have a relationship with my job not simply the company or people i work with, it's as though the job is an entity unto itself.
i feel dynamics changing. which i suppose is normal with each change in circumstances. i'm going to have less time to email people. which is crappy because email is my best form of communication. i like connecting and staying connected thru that medium. i'll try to focus on quality instead of quantity. i'll get satisfaction from that.
when b and i were dating i liked cutting his hair. now that we're married the novelity has worn off, and he has to plead with me for a trim. i think i hate it because i get covered in his hair and i'm left itchy for not only the remainder of the day, but also the next time i wear those clothes. does this happen to other people? i don't know how stylists and barbers manage. maybe i need some kind of hair dressing smock.
i love the work smock. it's one of my favourites.
i wanna write her name in the sky.
the approach of my former boss to my current boss couldn't be more different. emma really wants to develop my ability and give me more opportunities to contribute. i'm really happy about this. i'm now in the lead for the newsletter and after a rocky start (i'm not used to managing other people), it's come together really well! i'm pleased!
last night i sat around in the living room watching the tv feeling kind of restless. i couldn't figure out what to do with myself, and finally discovered it was because i was looking forward to returning to work this morning and continuing what i was doing when i'd left. i've gone from "ugh, it's only 3 pm, i still have an hour and a half to kill" to "oh no! it's 3 pm! i only have an hour and a half left to get this done!" i feel like an old married person discovering re-infatuation with their spouse. it's kind of funny how i have a relationship with my job not simply the company or people i work with, it's as though the job is an entity unto itself.
i feel dynamics changing. which i suppose is normal with each change in circumstances. i'm going to have less time to email people. which is crappy because email is my best form of communication. i like connecting and staying connected thru that medium. i'll try to focus on quality instead of quantity. i'll get satisfaction from that.
when b and i were dating i liked cutting his hair. now that we're married the novelity has worn off, and he has to plead with me for a trim. i think i hate it because i get covered in his hair and i'm left itchy for not only the remainder of the day, but also the next time i wear those clothes. does this happen to other people? i don't know how stylists and barbers manage. maybe i need some kind of hair dressing smock.
i love the work smock. it's one of my favourites.
i wanna write her name in the sky.
Monday, February 14, 2011
spiral
it's valentine's day, and i've never been one for celebrating it. however, i do believe in embracing each circumstance i find myself in. i lived well and for the most part celebrated my singleness on v-day in the past. there's part of me that can't help but feel like something of a traitor for participating in this holiday, but do feel that my single self would disapprove of sitting it out when i have a great partner to appreciate.
b and i don't have a lot of traditions yet, but definitely have some in the making. this year, we did two things for valentine's day. on saturday we went to harper's for dinner, and tonight we're exchanging lists. this was partly inspired by storytellers on wednesday – which was a list night. we had different categories and had to make lists accordingly. it was really fun. i don't consider myself a list lover, but i am a quote lover, and lists are like a collection of abstract quotes. anyways, i suggested to brendan that this year (and perhaps each year) for valentine's day we give each other a list of our favourite things about each other. when he gets home from work we'll exchange them. it's been really lovely so far actually; collecting qualities, experiences, traits that are significant and special. focusing on your favourite things about your partner makes you fall in love a little bit more. over the weekend while we compiled our lists b would often say to me when i did different things "that's going on the list", and it made me secretly beam a little bit. i hope we always do this. i like how over the years our dynamics and needs will change, and we'll learn more and more about each other, which means a fresh new appreciation each year. i don't think we'll ever run out of things for the list if we're really investing in each other and looking, really looking.
i just finished freaks and geeks episode 14 of 18. i'll be sad when i finish. i'm growing quite attached to bill, and will miss his tremendously awkward adolescence. this show is growing on me. i was skeptical at first, but the character development has been quite positive. i like looking up the actors on wikipedia to find out what they're doing now. martin starr (bill) is my favourite, because as an adult he seems like a really cool guy inspite the fact that he played an extremely geeky kid. like check this out.
there's a hole in my head where the rain comes in.
b and i don't have a lot of traditions yet, but definitely have some in the making. this year, we did two things for valentine's day. on saturday we went to harper's for dinner, and tonight we're exchanging lists. this was partly inspired by storytellers on wednesday – which was a list night. we had different categories and had to make lists accordingly. it was really fun. i don't consider myself a list lover, but i am a quote lover, and lists are like a collection of abstract quotes. anyways, i suggested to brendan that this year (and perhaps each year) for valentine's day we give each other a list of our favourite things about each other. when he gets home from work we'll exchange them. it's been really lovely so far actually; collecting qualities, experiences, traits that are significant and special. focusing on your favourite things about your partner makes you fall in love a little bit more. over the weekend while we compiled our lists b would often say to me when i did different things "that's going on the list", and it made me secretly beam a little bit. i hope we always do this. i like how over the years our dynamics and needs will change, and we'll learn more and more about each other, which means a fresh new appreciation each year. i don't think we'll ever run out of things for the list if we're really investing in each other and looking, really looking.
i just finished freaks and geeks episode 14 of 18. i'll be sad when i finish. i'm growing quite attached to bill, and will miss his tremendously awkward adolescence. this show is growing on me. i was skeptical at first, but the character development has been quite positive. i like looking up the actors on wikipedia to find out what they're doing now. martin starr (bill) is my favourite, because as an adult he seems like a really cool guy inspite the fact that he played an extremely geeky kid. like check this out.
there's a hole in my head where the rain comes in.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
poupour
we spent a large part of the afternoon (much larger than we expected) planning our trip to ireland. while it took a while, we're pretty pumped. six weeks today!! we're staying here: isaac's inn, and here global village, and here paddy's palace, and here lagan backpackers. and we're staying with rachel and eric a couple nights too. we're getting pretty excited about our trip! it's gonna be great. i'm really looking forward to it :D after this trip, brendan will be the person i've been to the most countries with, which is kind of neat because it's only over the course of 8 months of marriage! i was talking to my mom today asking her how similar she thinks ireland will be to the UK. she said it will be very similar, which is ok with me because i love the UK. it's my home away from home. i'm planning on buying some chocolate (way better than canadian chocolate) and ribena upon landing in dublin.
having lost 7 pounds, i've gone down 2 pant sizes and the pants i bought in december no longer fit. that's ok because i bought them for really cheap while on sale. i'm really pleased with my new pants. i prefer dark jeans, and in general i find this pair to be quite slimming. i'm less bulky and don't need a belt which is great.
we almost bought a house the other day. it was a short lived dream because within 4 hours of finding it i received an email from the realtor saying there's already a conditional offer on the house. that's ok. we weren't really looking, but just stumbled upon it. funny how different life paths appear and disappear so frequently.
last night i dreamt about a giraffe.
were you born a closed book,
full of secret lines?
having lost 7 pounds, i've gone down 2 pant sizes and the pants i bought in december no longer fit. that's ok because i bought them for really cheap while on sale. i'm really pleased with my new pants. i prefer dark jeans, and in general i find this pair to be quite slimming. i'm less bulky and don't need a belt which is great.
we almost bought a house the other day. it was a short lived dream because within 4 hours of finding it i received an email from the realtor saying there's already a conditional offer on the house. that's ok. we weren't really looking, but just stumbled upon it. funny how different life paths appear and disappear so frequently.
last night i dreamt about a giraffe.
were you born a closed book,
full of secret lines?
Thursday, February 10, 2011
mobility
my b started a blog.
well it's a tumblr account. he's more trendy than me :p
i've been wanting him to start a blog for a while. he used to have a blog. he's a beautiful writer and i knew i'd enjoy reading him. so after a little bit of thought he put it together and sent me a link. i hope it's ok that i'm now making it viral. here it is... http://magnificentdefeat.tumblr.com/
i've been reading a book recently suggested to me by my weirdo with a beardo. it's bittersweet. i won't get into the story so much as to say that it follows a man and woman's friendship. the man eventually marries the wrong woman and it doesn't bode well in spite his good intentions (the other girl was his best friend). he was fascinated by his wife, she was beautiful, and stunning, and enchanting. but they were not friends. they did not confide in one another. they did not support each other, share secrets or laughs. that seems shocking to me that people would marry someone who's amazing, but not their best friend. how can you be partners if you're not even friends. in our pre-marriage counseling devona told us "marriage is companionship with a little bit of sex thrown in". i like that. it resonates with me.
i spy with my little eye... something that is small and close and quaint and it has a green door. it makes me wonder and imagine. you never know what may be.
i really like the way the moon looks tonight.
well it's a tumblr account. he's more trendy than me :p
i've been wanting him to start a blog for a while. he used to have a blog. he's a beautiful writer and i knew i'd enjoy reading him. so after a little bit of thought he put it together and sent me a link. i hope it's ok that i'm now making it viral. here it is... http://magnificentdefeat.tumblr.com/
i've been reading a book recently suggested to me by my weirdo with a beardo. it's bittersweet. i won't get into the story so much as to say that it follows a man and woman's friendship. the man eventually marries the wrong woman and it doesn't bode well in spite his good intentions (the other girl was his best friend). he was fascinated by his wife, she was beautiful, and stunning, and enchanting. but they were not friends. they did not confide in one another. they did not support each other, share secrets or laughs. that seems shocking to me that people would marry someone who's amazing, but not their best friend. how can you be partners if you're not even friends. in our pre-marriage counseling devona told us "marriage is companionship with a little bit of sex thrown in". i like that. it resonates with me.
i spy with my little eye... something that is small and close and quaint and it has a green door. it makes me wonder and imagine. you never know what may be.
i really like the way the moon looks tonight.
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
frontenac
sometimes i have to get a catalytic converter.
sometimes i forget my keys at work.
sometimes my dad yells at other drivers.
sometimes i meet b on his lunch break to pick up the car, and we go to a coffee shop for a visit.
sometimes i bump into old best friends who now work at coffee shops.
sometimes a school bus drives past me and i see it's being driven by my highschool classmate.
sometimes it feels like living in the same town for almost my whole life makes it inevitable that i will bump into everyone.
sometimes i go to queen's campus and get carded.
sometimes while on campus i look at the students, think they're so young, and then feel sorry for them.
sometimes watching old anxiety teen tv shows make me squrim from the awkwardness so much that my eyes water.
sometimes sleeping is extra comfortable.
sometimes losing weight doesn't feel so difficult.
sometimes i like my lunch better than other times.
sometimes i both love and feel annoyed at a book at the same time.
sometimes it's too much.
sometimes it's too little.
sometimes it's just right.
sometimes i zig.
sometimes i zag.
sometimes i move my pile of mess from one pile on the floor to another pile on the floor.
sometimes i think about what i would do if i could do it again, and i tell people such.
sometimes i think that's the best advise.
sometimes i go to a show to just see brendan play, even though he plays in our living room all the time.
sometimes thank you cards aren't as overwhelming as they once were.
sometimes i'm positive.
sometimes i'm grumpy.
sometimes i'm squished.
sometimes i'm relieved.
sometimes i'm peaceful.
you can take that however you feel.
sometimes i forget my keys at work.
sometimes my dad yells at other drivers.
sometimes i meet b on his lunch break to pick up the car, and we go to a coffee shop for a visit.
sometimes i bump into old best friends who now work at coffee shops.
sometimes a school bus drives past me and i see it's being driven by my highschool classmate.
sometimes it feels like living in the same town for almost my whole life makes it inevitable that i will bump into everyone.
sometimes i go to queen's campus and get carded.
sometimes while on campus i look at the students, think they're so young, and then feel sorry for them.
sometimes watching old anxiety teen tv shows make me squrim from the awkwardness so much that my eyes water.
sometimes sleeping is extra comfortable.
sometimes losing weight doesn't feel so difficult.
sometimes i like my lunch better than other times.
sometimes i both love and feel annoyed at a book at the same time.
sometimes it's too much.
sometimes it's too little.
sometimes it's just right.
sometimes i zig.
sometimes i zag.
sometimes i move my pile of mess from one pile on the floor to another pile on the floor.
sometimes i think about what i would do if i could do it again, and i tell people such.
sometimes i think that's the best advise.
sometimes i go to a show to just see brendan play, even though he plays in our living room all the time.
sometimes thank you cards aren't as overwhelming as they once were.
sometimes i'm positive.
sometimes i'm grumpy.
sometimes i'm squished.
sometimes i'm relieved.
sometimes i'm peaceful.
you can take that however you feel.
Monday, February 07, 2011
SOS
my dad and i scrubbed and scrubbed his old apartment. we broke-down each task and tried to tackle one thing at a time. i spent thursday, friday, and saturday with him, and was very surprised to discover just how similar we are. we're reckless with tools, we're impulsive, we're unconcerned with whether or not something is perfect just as long as it works. we shuffle our feet when we're tired, we get distracted when we're cleaning. it was refreshing to work along side someone i'm so similar to. i'm glad brendan wasn't there, many of the things we did would've really bothered him - specifically when we unpacked the new wall cabinet, dove right in, ripping the box, tearing thru the styrofoam, making a mess. that would have made him nuts!! i had a lovely time. mid-saturday i was feeling kind of hungry so i asked for a snack. we sat at his little table eating crackers, cheese and olives. he was so thrilled to find another family member who likes olives. it was fun.
on sunday i was so sore from all the crouching and the scrubbing. i'm still a little stiff.
b and i (unexpectedly) made significant progress on our thank you cards. those cards have been a MAJOR thorn in my side. a weight on my conscious. the meer thought of them stresses me out. i'm EXTREMELY relieved that we're making our way thru them. it was actually a lot less difficult than i've been expecting. now to deliver them.
the poor mojomobile has a busted muffler again. we were going to put off fixing it, except my "check engine" light came on today, which implies something serious. i've made arrangements to be picked up tomorrow by a work-mate, so a mechanic can steal our money. we had TWO muffler repairs in september. it should've been fixed right in the first place. at least the second repair was free.
i watched my second superbowl last night. i felt extra invested because pittsbugh is the only city i have personal connection to - or rather a profession connection to, but it's personal nonetheless. i've been there, i know people there, i know people there who care about football. nancy cooked an awesome feast for us. b and i ate next to nothing all day in preparation. the lorimer-mclean-hamilton-aubin-gileo family are the most music knowledgable group of folks i know, so it's needless to say that the half-time show was extremely painful for them.
what's wrong with the world mama?
on sunday i was so sore from all the crouching and the scrubbing. i'm still a little stiff.
b and i (unexpectedly) made significant progress on our thank you cards. those cards have been a MAJOR thorn in my side. a weight on my conscious. the meer thought of them stresses me out. i'm EXTREMELY relieved that we're making our way thru them. it was actually a lot less difficult than i've been expecting. now to deliver them.
the poor mojomobile has a busted muffler again. we were going to put off fixing it, except my "check engine" light came on today, which implies something serious. i've made arrangements to be picked up tomorrow by a work-mate, so a mechanic can steal our money. we had TWO muffler repairs in september. it should've been fixed right in the first place. at least the second repair was free.
i watched my second superbowl last night. i felt extra invested because pittsbugh is the only city i have personal connection to - or rather a profession connection to, but it's personal nonetheless. i've been there, i know people there, i know people there who care about football. nancy cooked an awesome feast for us. b and i ate next to nothing all day in preparation. the lorimer-mclean-hamilton-aubin-gileo family are the most music knowledgable group of folks i know, so it's needless to say that the half-time show was extremely painful for them.
what's wrong with the world mama?
Friday, February 04, 2011
chestnut
my dad is moving into a bigger apartment in his building. so i went to his place last night to help him move. his new place is really nice, i like it a lot. there's still quite a bit to be done. he's a bit of a pack-rat. a major p (myers-briggs: perceiving). his friend e-anne and i were trying to convince him to throw stuff out or take it to the sally ann.
abandoned on the floor of his old place was this massive bible. it's huge. i asked him about it, and he told me that his brother bill gave it to him, and he doesn't know why. "it's not a family heirloom or anything" so he didn't want it. i knew that we didn't need a huge bible like that, but it was the sort of thing i could see brendan being very excited about, so i said i'd take it. when i got home, i got out my weigh scales and discovered it weighs exactly 10lbs. it's huge. there's all these printed pages placed in the front. someone, maybe my uncle, maybe someone else, did some research online and discovered that it's from 1870. i left the huge bible in a conspicuous place where brendan would see it immediately upon arriving home. he was indeed excited. we looked thru it together and found an inscription that said "robert sloan, 1890". when i saw that it finally made sense, i don't really understand how my dad missed it! sloan was my grandma's maiden name. in another place it has written "to harold..." - my grandma's brother! my goodness the stories i've heard about uncle harold :p i think he was a funeral director. i kind of don't want to tell my dad in case he wants it back :p it's a huge bible, at least 6 inches thick, and includes the apocrypha and other things. on the last page we discovered old family photos! really old. only 2 of them have names and dates, but the rest are anonymous. there was one little baby who brendan thought looked like me. i couldn't disagree, it did look a little like baby lesley. what a neat find!
my pants are too big :S that's a good thing, don't get me wrong. but i just bought these in december, and now i need new ones again. at least i only spent $12.99 on them.
each morning i really look forward to my lunch. i've really been enjoying my salads.
you sort out the recycling,
it's not part of the foreplay process,
but it's still very important.
abandoned on the floor of his old place was this massive bible. it's huge. i asked him about it, and he told me that his brother bill gave it to him, and he doesn't know why. "it's not a family heirloom or anything" so he didn't want it. i knew that we didn't need a huge bible like that, but it was the sort of thing i could see brendan being very excited about, so i said i'd take it. when i got home, i got out my weigh scales and discovered it weighs exactly 10lbs. it's huge. there's all these printed pages placed in the front. someone, maybe my uncle, maybe someone else, did some research online and discovered that it's from 1870. i left the huge bible in a conspicuous place where brendan would see it immediately upon arriving home. he was indeed excited. we looked thru it together and found an inscription that said "robert sloan, 1890". when i saw that it finally made sense, i don't really understand how my dad missed it! sloan was my grandma's maiden name. in another place it has written "to harold..." - my grandma's brother! my goodness the stories i've heard about uncle harold :p i think he was a funeral director. i kind of don't want to tell my dad in case he wants it back :p it's a huge bible, at least 6 inches thick, and includes the apocrypha and other things. on the last page we discovered old family photos! really old. only 2 of them have names and dates, but the rest are anonymous. there was one little baby who brendan thought looked like me. i couldn't disagree, it did look a little like baby lesley. what a neat find!
my pants are too big :S that's a good thing, don't get me wrong. but i just bought these in december, and now i need new ones again. at least i only spent $12.99 on them.
each morning i really look forward to my lunch. i've really been enjoying my salads.
you sort out the recycling,
it's not part of the foreplay process,
but it's still very important.
Thursday, February 03, 2011
grass
the drive into work this morning was lovely. indeed a winter wonderland. the snow shimmered on the mounds and fields. i drove behind this really terrible driver. it was pretty funny. clearly they were not from kingston, because the drove on the soft-shoulder on taylor-kidd instead of on the road. the snow plow had cleared the shoulder, and it seems the driver thought it was a lane. so there were 3 of us driving on the road, and one car driving on the curb.
well, this is week two of b working full time and nights, and so far it's working out pretty well. he's more tired this week than last, but other than that it's good. my separation anxiety seems to be improving. perhaps it was that i was rarely alone anymore that it felt weird, and so now that i'm getting used to it again i'm more comfortable.
i've developed a dislike for sarcasm - a sensitivity to the sting of a bitter jibe. if the person is clearly joking or counters the comment immediately i'm totally ok with it, because i do have a sense of humour. but in general i find sarcasm just mean-spirited, and don't like it. it hurts my feelings, and i can't understand why someone would purposely be hurtful. a lot of people hide behind the guise of sarcasm, but it doesn't make their cruelty ok. they joke but they actually mean what they say. i find it especially hard to swallow when i'm saying something serious or important to me, and i get interrupted with petty comments. i guess i just feel that at 31, i don't appreciate bullying, and see it as such. it seems low-brow and unclever. if the person had to be clever and funny that would be much harder. teasing is different. i like teasing, teasing i can handle, and think it's fun :)
still the searcher must ride the dark horse.
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
unknown
my goodness, i'm happy :)
i got to work from home today because of the weather. i realize it didn't turn out to be the big blizzard they were calling for. but when you work out in millhaven, even regular snow storms are hard to drive thru.
so i played it safe and had an uber productive day around the pad-office. i even started early! i got up, ate my breakfast, heard news reports to stay at home unless you have to, then hopped on my computer to let my boss and colleagues know my plan. and i've been working ever since! i haven't even gotten out of my pajamas! the downside was that i was working on the computer with the light on in our bedroom while brendan was trying to sleep. so i lent him my eye-mask to block out the light and he slept no problem. it was kind of cute actually. in a way i feel i was more productive than usual. when i'm at work i want the world outside my cubicle, but working from home gave me the outside world so i was happy to just plug along on work stuff :) i probably wouldn't like working from home every day, but having some variety would be nice.
i'm feeling better, less overwhelmed and/or socially congested than i was yesterday. i'm taking steps to limit my relationships, even if just little steps... like declining hangout invitations because i know i can't invest in a new (or in some cases old) friendship. it's not really fair to anyone. so this is good. i'm not subject to external demands, i can navigate relationships myself. which is a relief.
josh, garry and i planned the next AGM last night. i'm kind of looking forward to it - we're playing a next version of what time is it mister wolf. i suggested that whoever garry catches becomes the new board members, and the first person he catches will be the new treasurer :p but we probably can't do that :S tonight is my last board meeting. 3 years has flown by. seriously. it's hard to believe my tenure is over. thinking back to my first board meeting i had no idea where my life was taking me or what might have changed by the time i was done. i have to admit, very little has changed, and yet a lot at the same time.
i didn't listen to any music at all today. it feels like it's been opposite day or something. i'm gonna go get dressed now, the work day is done :D
the twists and turns of plots that turned us from friends to lovers.
i got to work from home today because of the weather. i realize it didn't turn out to be the big blizzard they were calling for. but when you work out in millhaven, even regular snow storms are hard to drive thru.
so i played it safe and had an uber productive day around the pad-office. i even started early! i got up, ate my breakfast, heard news reports to stay at home unless you have to, then hopped on my computer to let my boss and colleagues know my plan. and i've been working ever since! i haven't even gotten out of my pajamas! the downside was that i was working on the computer with the light on in our bedroom while brendan was trying to sleep. so i lent him my eye-mask to block out the light and he slept no problem. it was kind of cute actually. in a way i feel i was more productive than usual. when i'm at work i want the world outside my cubicle, but working from home gave me the outside world so i was happy to just plug along on work stuff :) i probably wouldn't like working from home every day, but having some variety would be nice.
i'm feeling better, less overwhelmed and/or socially congested than i was yesterday. i'm taking steps to limit my relationships, even if just little steps... like declining hangout invitations because i know i can't invest in a new (or in some cases old) friendship. it's not really fair to anyone. so this is good. i'm not subject to external demands, i can navigate relationships myself. which is a relief.
josh, garry and i planned the next AGM last night. i'm kind of looking forward to it - we're playing a next version of what time is it mister wolf. i suggested that whoever garry catches becomes the new board members, and the first person he catches will be the new treasurer :p but we probably can't do that :S tonight is my last board meeting. 3 years has flown by. seriously. it's hard to believe my tenure is over. thinking back to my first board meeting i had no idea where my life was taking me or what might have changed by the time i was done. i have to admit, very little has changed, and yet a lot at the same time.
i didn't listen to any music at all today. it feels like it's been opposite day or something. i'm gonna go get dressed now, the work day is done :D
the twists and turns of plots that turned us from friends to lovers.
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
hotline
when i lived in toronto, i sat in traffic congestion regularly. on occassion i'd be stuck on the 401 for a chunk of time. after a while i concluded that if everyone just drove faster we could all move along at a good pace. but eventually i realized that it wasn't the speed, but instead the volume. there were too many cars on the road, and it resulted in gridlock.
i'm feeling socially gridlocked. after spending some time trying to figure out my week, when i'm available and when i'm not, i've started to feel very overwhelmed. i got thinking about those cars in TO that fill the streets to the point of standstill, and finally admitted what the problem is. i have too many friends. i'm not ungrateful. i'm extremely fortunate and blessed to have my life full of fantastic people. people i really connect with and enjoy. but that does not change the reality that i have more relationships than i'm capable of juggling.
out of curiousity i did a search online to see what's a reasonable number of friends, and found a very interesting article. it said the ideal number of close friends (inner core) is 5, with about 10 more acquaintences on top of that. at first i thought i was on par. i used to have 5 in my inner circle. but upon recount i have 8 or 9, and then other friends on top of that, and regular acquaintences too. no wonder i feel overwhelmed. i'm not saying i want to cut out some of my friendships. not at all. i guess i'm just saying that i don't really know what to do. for a while now i've thought that it's because i work a 40 hour week that i'm short on time, but really it's that i have too much on the go. too many cars on the road.
i think it's in my best interest and in the best interest of the people around me that i invest more in fewer people, instead of invest less in more people.
i'm finding myself craving a clean slate. something similar to my christmas vacation when i have no commitments and no appointments. in two weeks i will be officially finished on the next church board. after that i may take a month off from everything (save living room because i lead that and can't skip out).
i'm sorry if i've been less available. it's not actually because of brendan or my change from single to relationship. but rather that my life has become overly saturated and it's more than i can handle. i'm too introverted for my environment and can't rise to the challenge. it's really not anyone's fault (in case you were wondering if you were part of the problem), except maybe mine or my blog. *sigh*
i feel so ridiculous. there are a lot of people in the world who are lonely and in want of a good friend. and here i am expressing that i have an over-abundance. i have both quality and quantity. i am a very lucky person, i don't deny that.
well i don't know where this leave me, other than trying to see the forest for the trees.
i'm feeling socially gridlocked. after spending some time trying to figure out my week, when i'm available and when i'm not, i've started to feel very overwhelmed. i got thinking about those cars in TO that fill the streets to the point of standstill, and finally admitted what the problem is. i have too many friends. i'm not ungrateful. i'm extremely fortunate and blessed to have my life full of fantastic people. people i really connect with and enjoy. but that does not change the reality that i have more relationships than i'm capable of juggling.
out of curiousity i did a search online to see what's a reasonable number of friends, and found a very interesting article. it said the ideal number of close friends (inner core) is 5, with about 10 more acquaintences on top of that. at first i thought i was on par. i used to have 5 in my inner circle. but upon recount i have 8 or 9, and then other friends on top of that, and regular acquaintences too. no wonder i feel overwhelmed. i'm not saying i want to cut out some of my friendships. not at all. i guess i'm just saying that i don't really know what to do. for a while now i've thought that it's because i work a 40 hour week that i'm short on time, but really it's that i have too much on the go. too many cars on the road.
i think it's in my best interest and in the best interest of the people around me that i invest more in fewer people, instead of invest less in more people.
i'm finding myself craving a clean slate. something similar to my christmas vacation when i have no commitments and no appointments. in two weeks i will be officially finished on the next church board. after that i may take a month off from everything (save living room because i lead that and can't skip out).
i'm sorry if i've been less available. it's not actually because of brendan or my change from single to relationship. but rather that my life has become overly saturated and it's more than i can handle. i'm too introverted for my environment and can't rise to the challenge. it's really not anyone's fault (in case you were wondering if you were part of the problem), except maybe mine or my blog. *sigh*
i feel so ridiculous. there are a lot of people in the world who are lonely and in want of a good friend. and here i am expressing that i have an over-abundance. i have both quality and quantity. i am a very lucky person, i don't deny that.
well i don't know where this leave me, other than trying to see the forest for the trees.
as long as we can live in harmony.
wool
i started watching the cult classic freaks and geeks last night. i remember when it first came out but didn't ever catch it. i've always wondered how they could feature two people groups as they do. i'm not in love with it, but it's ok. it's something to watch while i eat dinner and after dinner when i'm knitting.
today is the alzhiemer's break fundraiser at work. people bake then leave their baked goods at the coffee station and consumers donate in return. i'm going to exercise some self-control today. i realize that it's easier to diet when you don't deprive yourself, but i honestly don't want any baked goods today. that being said i'm in danger of caving if i make eye contact. i may try to avoid the coffee station all day. i've lost yet another pound. which means i lost 5 pounds in one month :) yay! making progress FINALLY!
sometimes when i get a lot of sleep i end up feeling more sleepy and lethargic. it's hard to know if i'm sleeply because i'm sleep deprived or if my body has mistaken my weekend sleep-in as hibernation.
i wish my cubicle neighbours would learn to keep their thoughts inside their heads. i really don't need to hear about her sinus headache. if you're going to talk to yourself, then please whisper.
i'm pretty happy it's february. there's a long weekend this month and we're going to go visit beck in q-city. and one winter month is now behind us. AND it means that we're going to ireland NEXT MONTH!! my new passport arrived in the mail on friday. which means i'm now internationally lorimer. i like my new passport photo, although i felt a bit weird after brendan looked at it and said "don't worry les, everyone has a bad passport photo at some point". i felt weird about that because i DIDN'T think it was a bad photo :S i don't look noticablly 5 years older than the last one. mostly my hair is different and my skin looks softer. i got carded at the mansion on saturday night and i didn't have my id with me. i was pretty pissed because i didn't want to have to walk home and get it so i told the guy "i don't have it with me, but i'm seriously 31". he didn't bother me after that. brendan said "only a 31 year old would say that".
today is the alzhiemer's break fundraiser at work. people bake then leave their baked goods at the coffee station and consumers donate in return. i'm going to exercise some self-control today. i realize that it's easier to diet when you don't deprive yourself, but i honestly don't want any baked goods today. that being said i'm in danger of caving if i make eye contact. i may try to avoid the coffee station all day. i've lost yet another pound. which means i lost 5 pounds in one month :) yay! making progress FINALLY!
sometimes when i get a lot of sleep i end up feeling more sleepy and lethargic. it's hard to know if i'm sleeply because i'm sleep deprived or if my body has mistaken my weekend sleep-in as hibernation.
i wish my cubicle neighbours would learn to keep their thoughts inside their heads. i really don't need to hear about her sinus headache. if you're going to talk to yourself, then please whisper.
i'm pretty happy it's february. there's a long weekend this month and we're going to go visit beck in q-city. and one winter month is now behind us. AND it means that we're going to ireland NEXT MONTH!! my new passport arrived in the mail on friday. which means i'm now internationally lorimer. i like my new passport photo, although i felt a bit weird after brendan looked at it and said "don't worry les, everyone has a bad passport photo at some point". i felt weird about that because i DIDN'T think it was a bad photo :S i don't look noticablly 5 years older than the last one. mostly my hair is different and my skin looks softer. i got carded at the mansion on saturday night and i didn't have my id with me. i was pretty pissed because i didn't want to have to walk home and get it so i told the guy "i don't have it with me, but i'm seriously 31". he didn't bother me after that. brendan said "only a 31 year old would say that".
i'm so lost,
and i live just around the corner.
and i live just around the corner.
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