after reading the help i've gotten really into the idea of natural house-keeping. using things like vinegar, baking soda, and mayonnaise as cleaning products. this makes me happy. i like keeping things simple. i like not buying into modern marketing messages that it has to be store-bought to be good. that we have to spend money on manufactured things instead of using what we have that is just as effective. i often think of people who existed throughout history who didn't have the modern devises we have. a lot of things were harder, but a lot of things were better. no fast food (no obesity). no cars (no energy-crisis). no chemicals (less foreign materials entering our bodies and atmosphere). so i think so myself "is simple better?" and often it is.
nancy gave us 4 free passes to a movie last night (larry crowne) and it's got me thinking about scooters. i've been talking for years about eventually getting one, but now that we're a two-people home, it actually makes sense to have a scooter. especially when i drive about an hour every day. this is an actual possibility for the near future! i'm pretty stoked. we may wait til the spring instead of buying a scooter halfway thru the season. but i can start by getting my M1 license since i was already planning on doing that this year anyways.
man, i forgot how much i love the killers.
summer wind did not tell.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
bruise
i'm completely ravenous for reading right now. i've concluded that it's not so much the quality of the book that hooks me on reading but a certain lure to the activity. last week i spent a good hour trying to decide what to read next and felt that every book i picked up and read the first page of was going to be a winner. that being said, one dull or poorly written book could derail me at any time so it's important to choose carefully. i ended up reading water for elephants in less than a week, and i don't usually plow thru books with such speed. i'm simply in the reading sweet spot. i feel that many of my activities right now (work, meals, sleeping) are just tasks i do to fill the time between reading. i've moved on to franny and zooey which bren has raved about and lent me the book. i'm enjoying it so far (started reading it over breakfast) and always find it interesting reading books that other people have written in the margins in. it feels like insight into their minds. in this case, she's pointing out things that i myself did not notice. i've concluded she marked it up on subsequent reads.
speaking of bren... we lent her our car yesterday, and would you believe it... she threw my keys on the roof of our house!
on monday evening b and i had our clan over for ice cream cake to celebrate our one year anniversary. it was really fun. i was especially happy to have them over for dessert because it's too small to have them all over for dinner. the last time we were all together was for our wedding/rehearsal, and it was really neat to see how the dynamics have changed since them. last year they were a bit more reserved and didn't mingle much. this year, with more familiarity everyone was quite chatty and got along swimmingly. it was neat since meg is now quite pregnant, and erin is now 15 mos old there was much to be excited about. erin was so super cute. the evening was a success, and nancy declared that she'd have everyone over to their place for a christmas party since getting together only once a year is not often enough :) we're pretty fortunate that our family all lives in the same town. however, my mom may move away if she gets remarried, and joy+tim may move when tim finishes his residency at the cancer clinic. so we may not all live close together, but i suppose that's all the more reason to enjoy close proximity.
speaking of bren... we lent her our car yesterday, and would you believe it... she threw my keys on the roof of our house!
on monday evening b and i had our clan over for ice cream cake to celebrate our one year anniversary. it was really fun. i was especially happy to have them over for dessert because it's too small to have them all over for dinner. the last time we were all together was for our wedding/rehearsal, and it was really neat to see how the dynamics have changed since them. last year they were a bit more reserved and didn't mingle much. this year, with more familiarity everyone was quite chatty and got along swimmingly. it was neat since meg is now quite pregnant, and erin is now 15 mos old there was much to be excited about. erin was so super cute. the evening was a success, and nancy declared that she'd have everyone over to their place for a christmas party since getting together only once a year is not often enough :) we're pretty fortunate that our family all lives in the same town. however, my mom may move away if she gets remarried, and joy+tim may move when tim finishes his residency at the cancer clinic. so we may not all live close together, but i suppose that's all the more reason to enjoy close proximity.
they are mine until i die, until i die.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
sky rocket
a few months back, on his way to a gig in perth, b had the great idea to go to westport overnight to celebrate our first wedding anniversary. so we did. we stayed at the cove country inn and spa, and had a great time. it was super relaxing, peaceful, and the whole village is really friendly. i used to work in westport in the early 2000s, so it has a flare of familiarity similiar to that of a former residence. i really enjoy westport and it's quaintness, but i don't remember everyone being so darn friendly. it was really nice :)
our room at the inn was great. it didn't have a tv which was a nice change and meant we did more. we look a late night walk and played chess. i have to admit, i was quite impressed with my rusty chess skills. true, brendan did win, but i gave him a run for his money more boldly than he gave me. i had him in check within the first few minutes. i think he was taken off-guard by my skills :p anyways, our room was really great, equipped with a queensized bed (which was a nice change from our double because there's less room for hogging) and a jacuzzi! we used the jacuzzi a few times, the first time i made the water far too hot, but we just left it in the tub and it had cooled down to a nice temperature after dinner and we hopped in again. the room was kind of funny because the bathroom was part of the room without a door. b and i are not in the habit of using the washroom with the door open, so it made me giggle and us both feel a bit awkward. we didn't mind so much because it was memory making. i dunno. i know a lot of people would feel comfortable with that, but he's my lover not my brother and i'd like to maintain some boundaries in favour of romance :D
we ate dinner at the inn's restaurant which was super yummy and put it on our tab - so fancy! and had a delicious breakfast as part of our stay. on monday we walked up foley mountain, complete with tiredness, being circled by flies and getting slightly lost. i walk a lot slower than b, and found that gravity was viciously working against me. at one point he said "les... you walked the inca trail, i think you can handle this". so i explained that i was a slow walker on the trails, and i found it very difficult, but enjoy that it was a challenge that i conquered. then compared it to birth and what i imagine that experience to be like - horrible and yet awesome at the same time.
i think we'll go back there again next year, or do something slightly different, who knows. we didn't go out canoeing or swimming so there's still fun activities to do next year if we go back. and i think we will. b was mighty pleased with himself for coming up with the idea in the first place.
one of the funnier moments was when we were reading in our room we heard a woman moaning in the next room. i have never in my life overhead people having sex before so it was extremely funny. the next morning at breakfast i was scoping out the other guests to guess who it may have been.
well, it's hard to believe that we are into our second year of marriage. fun! it was a full year, and no doubt this year will be too :)
if you turn into a tree i will sway,
i'll sway with you.
our room at the inn was great. it didn't have a tv which was a nice change and meant we did more. we look a late night walk and played chess. i have to admit, i was quite impressed with my rusty chess skills. true, brendan did win, but i gave him a run for his money more boldly than he gave me. i had him in check within the first few minutes. i think he was taken off-guard by my skills :p anyways, our room was really great, equipped with a queensized bed (which was a nice change from our double because there's less room for hogging) and a jacuzzi! we used the jacuzzi a few times, the first time i made the water far too hot, but we just left it in the tub and it had cooled down to a nice temperature after dinner and we hopped in again. the room was kind of funny because the bathroom was part of the room without a door. b and i are not in the habit of using the washroom with the door open, so it made me giggle and us both feel a bit awkward. we didn't mind so much because it was memory making. i dunno. i know a lot of people would feel comfortable with that, but he's my lover not my brother and i'd like to maintain some boundaries in favour of romance :D
we ate dinner at the inn's restaurant which was super yummy and put it on our tab - so fancy! and had a delicious breakfast as part of our stay. on monday we walked up foley mountain, complete with tiredness, being circled by flies and getting slightly lost. i walk a lot slower than b, and found that gravity was viciously working against me. at one point he said "les... you walked the inca trail, i think you can handle this". so i explained that i was a slow walker on the trails, and i found it very difficult, but enjoy that it was a challenge that i conquered. then compared it to birth and what i imagine that experience to be like - horrible and yet awesome at the same time.
i think we'll go back there again next year, or do something slightly different, who knows. we didn't go out canoeing or swimming so there's still fun activities to do next year if we go back. and i think we will. b was mighty pleased with himself for coming up with the idea in the first place.
one of the funnier moments was when we were reading in our room we heard a woman moaning in the next room. i have never in my life overhead people having sex before so it was extremely funny. the next morning at breakfast i was scoping out the other guests to guess who it may have been.
well, it's hard to believe that we are into our second year of marriage. fun! it was a full year, and no doubt this year will be too :)
if you turn into a tree i will sway,
i'll sway with you.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
baking soda
rach and i went to a double-feature movie night last night at birthfest. it was really good and i enjoyed rach's company.
i suspect that i was one of the only non-mothers/moms-to-be there. i find birth very interesting and enjoy learning about it partly because it's interesting but also because i'm a woman. i feel that as a woman we are in a unique position, and even if i can't have kids someday, i still cherish the beauty of giving birth and giving life. being a woman rocks!
on the way home rach and i were reflecting on the different approaches to labour and delivery. while i don't believe there's necessarily a right way or a wrong way, i do have my preference if given the choice – and the reality is there isn't always a choice. truthfully rach and i can't understand the perspectives of women who have the opposite approach to what we do. and as i often do in most situations that i don't understand i wonder why. the neat thing that rach and i discovered was what is at the root of our desire for a non-medicated homebirth. for rach... it's the desire to feel everything. emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc. she wants to deeply feel what is going on, and enjoy the richness of those feelings. for me... (while slightly different, still similar) i want to experience everything. i spend much of my life with a desire to experience as much in life as possible. i often do things that i'm reluctant to do simply because i want to add that experience to my collection. i think that's why i'd prefer to experience all of birth and not just skip over it. i think in some ways it's like planning a trip. some people would like to avoid the travel and just arrive at their destination. but i love road trips, trains, buses, and airplanes. i would not skip that even if i had the choice. getting there is a big part of the story. yes, arriving safely is the end goal, but why not make it a really beautiful and memorable trip too? it's not either/or – it can be both/and.
they said last evening that 75% of women watch reality birthshows on tv (shows that are out to make a profit and as a result try to tell dramatic and entertaining tales), and yet only 25% of women take a pre-natal course (where they are given gentle, assuring and helpful information that's not fear based). it's unfortunately that most women learn about birth thru the tv and don't bother doing any research.
here's one of the films we watched last night:
it was a great film. the woman is a PhD student who turned her thesis into this documentary. she addresses the 4 main misconceptions caused by mass media – fear, speed (on tv they usually have to make the delivery fit into a 30 minute segment, so they don't show how slow and boring labour can be), men being unhelpful idiots (when they have the important role of supporting and empowering their partners) and unbearable pain that women need to be rescued from. women are strong, capable, wise, and should be treated with respect. yay girls!
don't underestimate the things that i will do.
i suspect that i was one of the only non-mothers/moms-to-be there. i find birth very interesting and enjoy learning about it partly because it's interesting but also because i'm a woman. i feel that as a woman we are in a unique position, and even if i can't have kids someday, i still cherish the beauty of giving birth and giving life. being a woman rocks!
on the way home rach and i were reflecting on the different approaches to labour and delivery. while i don't believe there's necessarily a right way or a wrong way, i do have my preference if given the choice – and the reality is there isn't always a choice. truthfully rach and i can't understand the perspectives of women who have the opposite approach to what we do. and as i often do in most situations that i don't understand i wonder why. the neat thing that rach and i discovered was what is at the root of our desire for a non-medicated homebirth. for rach... it's the desire to feel everything. emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc. she wants to deeply feel what is going on, and enjoy the richness of those feelings. for me... (while slightly different, still similar) i want to experience everything. i spend much of my life with a desire to experience as much in life as possible. i often do things that i'm reluctant to do simply because i want to add that experience to my collection. i think that's why i'd prefer to experience all of birth and not just skip over it. i think in some ways it's like planning a trip. some people would like to avoid the travel and just arrive at their destination. but i love road trips, trains, buses, and airplanes. i would not skip that even if i had the choice. getting there is a big part of the story. yes, arriving safely is the end goal, but why not make it a really beautiful and memorable trip too? it's not either/or – it can be both/and.
they said last evening that 75% of women watch reality birthshows on tv (shows that are out to make a profit and as a result try to tell dramatic and entertaining tales), and yet only 25% of women take a pre-natal course (where they are given gentle, assuring and helpful information that's not fear based). it's unfortunately that most women learn about birth thru the tv and don't bother doing any research.
here's one of the films we watched last night:
it was a great film. the woman is a PhD student who turned her thesis into this documentary. she addresses the 4 main misconceptions caused by mass media – fear, speed (on tv they usually have to make the delivery fit into a 30 minute segment, so they don't show how slow and boring labour can be), men being unhelpful idiots (when they have the important role of supporting and empowering their partners) and unbearable pain that women need to be rescued from. women are strong, capable, wise, and should be treated with respect. yay girls!
don't underestimate the things that i will do.
Friday, June 24, 2011
colour
i have hiccups. really badly. i discovered a trick a few years ago that if someone tells a person with hiccups "stop hiccupping" in a serious and stern voice the hiccups stop immediately. sometimes i call b on the phone and simply tell him "i have hiccups" and he commands me to stop hiccuping and i'm cured. but unfortunately he's at work so i'm stuck.
for the first time, i've been feeling a great anticipation for the fall. i usually don't like september, it feels like a month of mondays. similar to how july feels like a saturday, and august like a sunday. anyways, the end of summer is full of exciting new things this year. brendan is starting school, megan is having a baby, we're going camping, brendan's buying a new guitar. i hope i don't get carried away by anticipation that i let this summer pass without paying attention to it. that would be a shame since summer is, after all, my favourite season. i sat out on the balcony the other evening enjoying the outdoors and the season. how lovely. it's so nice having a good book to accompany the slow pace of weather. i'm on a true reading roll at the moment. i hope i keep on rolling.
oh.. wait wait wait. i think that last hiccup startled me so much that they're now gone. hooray!
the new pool is set to open today at the m centre. i think it will be a real hit and i'm so glad that more people will start to discover the joys of this neighbourhood on the wake of this updated water park. that makes me happy.
for the first time, i've been feeling a great anticipation for the fall. i usually don't like september, it feels like a month of mondays. similar to how july feels like a saturday, and august like a sunday. anyways, the end of summer is full of exciting new things this year. brendan is starting school, megan is having a baby, we're going camping, brendan's buying a new guitar. i hope i don't get carried away by anticipation that i let this summer pass without paying attention to it. that would be a shame since summer is, after all, my favourite season. i sat out on the balcony the other evening enjoying the outdoors and the season. how lovely. it's so nice having a good book to accompany the slow pace of weather. i'm on a true reading roll at the moment. i hope i keep on rolling.
oh.. wait wait wait. i think that last hiccup startled me so much that they're now gone. hooray!
the new pool is set to open today at the m centre. i think it will be a real hit and i'm so glad that more people will start to discover the joys of this neighbourhood on the wake of this updated water park. that makes me happy.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
surfacing
last night joanne was talking about her anxiety about her first year of marriage. she'd been told that it will be the worst year of her life. since i hadn't taken the time to reflect on our own first year of marriage i deflected to rachel who raved about how great her first year of marriage was. while it's hard to believe that it is indeed our first anniversary in 3 days *smile*... it truly is. the year has gone fast and part of me feels a little bit sad to see it wrap up. the newness. the significance. the timeline. as the day approached i wondered if being outside the container of our first year would lessen the significance of all that we experience, but i've concluded that nothing is actually changing other than the date. things are still new and exciting. we're still on a learning curve and still have loads of discovery ahead of us.
while i haven't fully processed all this (i assume i will as i write) i can say without a doubt that our first year of marriage has been the time of our lives. we've really really enjoyed it and it's been a very special time. i don't even think i can express the joy that our relationship brings to my life. i've found that marriage is not unlike any other adventure i've experienced. it's full of amazing moments and challenging moments, and it's that diversity that makes it so rich and fulfilling. since i'm one to quickly forget (like i did with the door that fell off its hinges) it's hard for me to remember right now what the hardest parts have been. but i think the challenges have been in learning how to balance our differences. our differences are mostly around our arguing styles - i'm quick tempered then quickly recover and forget what the issue was (seriously i can forget within a matter of seconds which frustrates the heck out of b), and brendan is slow tempered, he gets increasingly mad - usually peaking around the time that i'm starting to get over it - and is slow to recover. i even find this delightful. i love that i have this partner who i've working out these dynamics with. together we're learning about both ourselves and each other. it will be neat to see how far we've come in a year's time.
last year we started a "brendan and lesley journal". since we're both people who enjoy writing and enjoy reflecting, we decided to keep a journal that we'll write in each anniversary and at significant milestones. it will be so neat to look back in 75 years and have this wonderful time-capsule. to read exactly what we felt and experienced at those stages and not just recall them thru our aged perspective. i recently re-read last year's entry and even just a year later was surprised by the details that have already faded.
so that's that. i think now if i were to be asked what our first year of marriage was like i'd have an answer: fun, flavourful and joyful. it was a deeply rich experience :)
you're always there to say...
"no matter baby what the days bring i'll be there.
i'm here to holding you as the door seems to crumble.
and in the times when it all seems so stale
i'll be with you when the going gets going."
while i haven't fully processed all this (i assume i will as i write) i can say without a doubt that our first year of marriage has been the time of our lives. we've really really enjoyed it and it's been a very special time. i don't even think i can express the joy that our relationship brings to my life. i've found that marriage is not unlike any other adventure i've experienced. it's full of amazing moments and challenging moments, and it's that diversity that makes it so rich and fulfilling. since i'm one to quickly forget (like i did with the door that fell off its hinges) it's hard for me to remember right now what the hardest parts have been. but i think the challenges have been in learning how to balance our differences. our differences are mostly around our arguing styles - i'm quick tempered then quickly recover and forget what the issue was (seriously i can forget within a matter of seconds which frustrates the heck out of b), and brendan is slow tempered, he gets increasingly mad - usually peaking around the time that i'm starting to get over it - and is slow to recover. i even find this delightful. i love that i have this partner who i've working out these dynamics with. together we're learning about both ourselves and each other. it will be neat to see how far we've come in a year's time.
last year we started a "brendan and lesley journal". since we're both people who enjoy writing and enjoy reflecting, we decided to keep a journal that we'll write in each anniversary and at significant milestones. it will be so neat to look back in 75 years and have this wonderful time-capsule. to read exactly what we felt and experienced at those stages and not just recall them thru our aged perspective. i recently re-read last year's entry and even just a year later was surprised by the details that have already faded.
so that's that. i think now if i were to be asked what our first year of marriage was like i'd have an answer: fun, flavourful and joyful. it was a deeply rich experience :)
you're always there to say...
"no matter baby what the days bring i'll be there.
i'm here to holding you as the door seems to crumble.
and in the times when it all seems so stale
i'll be with you when the going gets going."
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
tenacious
a funny thing happened the other day. the wood screen door connecting our porch and our inside fell off when i walked thru it. it was odd and startling. perhaps the funniest part was that just minutes before it happened brendan and i had been struggling to close the door, because it appeared to be needing attention. then minutes later i'd already completely forgotten and opened the door in a rush only to see it fall down right in front of me. considering i have a very good memory, i forget stuff like that almost immediately.
the mojomobile was overheating last week. i tried to take it in on friday after work but the car shop was closed (even though they'd left their 'open' sign on). but it turns out that was a good thing. i ended up taking it in on monday to the mechanic down the road from my office. they were very kind and gave me a loaner car for the afternoon. it was a old cavalier like melissa's old car - it reminded me of the time that she lent me hers. the loaner car was itself in bad shape - making suspicious sounds and flashing lights at me. the whole loaner car experience was interesting, it felt so low to the ground and i couldn't help but feel funny just steering the little blue automatic car. just steering feels like doing hardly nothing at all.
the car repair was costly - roughly a week's worth of wages - but the difference is unbelievable so i find myself feeling it was worth every penny. i think i've officially broken up with my old cruddy mechanic and will continue my working relationship with williams. they're a good shop, always busy and friendly. the staff are helpful and not sketchy. plus it's so convienent being close to work - and honestly... there's NOTHING close to my work.
the mojomobile is purring like it did back in it's early days. it feels like new(to me) again. i even spent some time spray-painting the two rusty spots to stop the spread. while i hate spending that kind of money i feel it's worth taking care of the ole moj. i've always wanted a big truck-like vehicle. it's handy! so i'd like it to last a long while :)
the mojomobile was overheating last week. i tried to take it in on friday after work but the car shop was closed (even though they'd left their 'open' sign on). but it turns out that was a good thing. i ended up taking it in on monday to the mechanic down the road from my office. they were very kind and gave me a loaner car for the afternoon. it was a old cavalier like melissa's old car - it reminded me of the time that she lent me hers. the loaner car was itself in bad shape - making suspicious sounds and flashing lights at me. the whole loaner car experience was interesting, it felt so low to the ground and i couldn't help but feel funny just steering the little blue automatic car. just steering feels like doing hardly nothing at all.
the car repair was costly - roughly a week's worth of wages - but the difference is unbelievable so i find myself feeling it was worth every penny. i think i've officially broken up with my old cruddy mechanic and will continue my working relationship with williams. they're a good shop, always busy and friendly. the staff are helpful and not sketchy. plus it's so convienent being close to work - and honestly... there's NOTHING close to my work.
the mojomobile is purring like it did back in it's early days. it feels like new(to me) again. i even spent some time spray-painting the two rusty spots to stop the spread. while i hate spending that kind of money i feel it's worth taking care of the ole moj. i've always wanted a big truck-like vehicle. it's handy! so i'd like it to last a long while :)
it's raining so hard outside that it looks like it's snowing.
the answer better be yes.
the answer better be yes.
Monday, June 20, 2011
fire-eater
we sat in the park on saturday - the entire neighbourhood all together listening to music, talking, laughing, connecting. it was great. the day of skeleton park music festival is one of my favourite days of the year. we're super fortunate to have this great park and great festival in walking distance to our homes.
the weather was PERFECT, and we thoroughly enjoyed sitting in both the sun and the shade. thru-out the whole day people came and went from our blanket. it was really fun to see such a unique collection of folks to hangout with at once! one of the more amusing parts was when shannon and brendan were mistaken as husband and wife and someone took their photo (without their knowledge). it was surprising since b was sitting up against me, so we weren't exactly sure how the confusion occured. another highlight was when shannon told us the story about a seagull attacking her face. oh and when i opened the porta-potty door and there was a man in it. that was super awkward. i still don't understand why he didn't lock the door behind him!
the music was great. a little more country than in the past, which was actually alright. there was also a strong soul presence too. country and soul, what a combo!
b and i decided to take a picnic in our classic picnic basket. it's fun to picnic, it requires some fore-thought but that's something i'm getting increasingly good at. i packed both a lunch and a supper! we sat on that spot of park from 11 am til after dark. we didn't get home til after 11 pm! it was great :) on the third saturday of june, there's no place i'd rather be than in that park.
i don't care about money,
i don't care about time,
i don't care about reason,
reason don't care much for me.
the weather was PERFECT, and we thoroughly enjoyed sitting in both the sun and the shade. thru-out the whole day people came and went from our blanket. it was really fun to see such a unique collection of folks to hangout with at once! one of the more amusing parts was when shannon and brendan were mistaken as husband and wife and someone took their photo (without their knowledge). it was surprising since b was sitting up against me, so we weren't exactly sure how the confusion occured. another highlight was when shannon told us the story about a seagull attacking her face. oh and when i opened the porta-potty door and there was a man in it. that was super awkward. i still don't understand why he didn't lock the door behind him!
the music was great. a little more country than in the past, which was actually alright. there was also a strong soul presence too. country and soul, what a combo!
b and i decided to take a picnic in our classic picnic basket. it's fun to picnic, it requires some fore-thought but that's something i'm getting increasingly good at. i packed both a lunch and a supper! we sat on that spot of park from 11 am til after dark. we didn't get home til after 11 pm! it was great :) on the third saturday of june, there's no place i'd rather be than in that park.
i don't care about money,
i don't care about time,
i don't care about reason,
reason don't care much for me.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
authentic
i'm feeling badly because i teased my six year old nephew at lunch today and he made a sad frowny face. his kids meal at the restaurant came with three mini ice cream cones and he was upset because he didn't like his flavour. i commented "oh poor caleb... doesn't like his ice cream". i'm not one to tease cruelly so when i realized it came out that way i tried to back peddle. hopefully this has not left lasting damage on his psyche. i wondered where the comment came from, and realized it's largely tied to the emotions stirred by the book i'm currently reading – the help. it's basically about black women living & working in mississippi during the early 1960's. it's made me think a lot about how basic rights were denied to people because of the colour of their skin (this kind of behaviour still occurs today in different ways with different ethnicities). and while i don't want to be too hard on a six year old, it's not too difficult for me to see a connection to how being privileged can make us ungrateful. it's not enough to simply have ice cream, we complain that it's not good enough or the specific flavour we want. i'm awakening to this truth in my own life (I'M ungrateful, I'M privileged and desensitized) and unfortunately didn't exercise a filter in conversing with my young sweet-natured nephew. i imagine that gratitude is a difficult lesson to teach (i haven't the foggiest idea how one teaches true gratitude), just as having a privileged world-view is difficult to unlearn. good thing we're not expected to know all these things right away. phew!
where you invest your love, you invest your life.
where you invest your love, you invest your life.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
moon
in 2009 a sign went up at the memorial centre saying site renovations and improvements were going to be taking place. very little else was explained and shortly there after there was a new climber installed and a random fancy gate. i was not impressed since the sign had implied some serious changes. time passed slowly and eventually (the following construction season) more work was done. yet another climber and playground equipment have been installed and the fancy gate was taken down and replaced with an entire new nice fence. gardens and walking paths have been installed. a new awesome outdoor pool replaced the old one, and the park directly across the street from the maxipad has undergone some major changes as well. the crappy old chainlink fence was removed, a new walking path was created with picnic benches and regular benches. in addition they've installed oodles of lovely street lamps along the paths. 2 nights ago was the first time they'd turned on all the lights at night and the whole park just glowed. looking out the kitchen patio window i remarked at how serene and safe it looked. i feel as though i could sit on one of those benches late into the night and not feel afraid. it's interesting how light creates safety and darkness creates fear and danger. i was a little worried that the new glow of the park would shine in our bedroom window making it difficult to sleep, but it's been alright.
i'll know my name as it's called again.
last night at about 1:10 there were a group of people (1 man, 2 women) arguing on the sidewalk across the street from our house. york street is a busy place with the m centre, it's exciting derby girls bouts, and it's domestic disputes.
when talk first began about plans to improve the m centre i was in the middle of plans to quit my job and leave town for a while. i was disappointed that i wouldn't get to enjoy the renovations. i'm so glad that i'm still here. i feel like i'm finally getting to experience the m centre the way it was intended to be - as a community gathering place. it's so lovely and beautiful to see people coming together and having a place to be.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
slice
i wore my pants backwards all last evening. i didn't realize it at first. they were yoga pants so it wasn't completely obvious, but even after i realized i didn't bother correcting it. maybe that's why vancouver lost.
the hockey game was kind of dull after the first 15 minutes, i chalk this up to the fact that tim thomas is simply too good of a goalie that it makes for boring hockey. however, i did manage to watch the whole thing from beginning to end. from the national anthems to the giant skating around holding the stanley cup like it was a tiny little trophy. i find it odd that vancouver fans started to riot after the loss. the damage is worse than the G20 riots which is shocking to me since the G20 protests were about something, about making a change, about demonstrating a desire for change and accountability. while hockey is an interesting past-time i can't see it worth rioting over. how silly. actually, it's silly for me to say it was about hockey, because when riots like that happen it's rarely about what originally caused it. it's simply about recklessness and adrenaline. sometimes i imagine how things would be different if people put their natural fighting instincts towards an important cause. i think people have a desire to be passionate about something. but in our comfortable country, where few people get a glimpse at how hard life is for the rest of the world, people can end up funneling their passions into things like sports. i suppose people in struggling countries do the same. maybe in both cases it's a form of escapism.
it's been almost a year since our wedding. all this time i've been planning on framing one of our family portraits (that includes both sides of our immediate families all together) and hanging it on the wall. yesterday we finally got around to it. the finished product is much bigger than i originally imagined, but it looks fantastic. it's a black and white photo in a large oval frame. it's great. a classic family portrait :) b and i both find ourselves staring at it, and half expecting everyone to start moving and talking to each other like in a harry potter photo. what an amazing keepsake. we're having our family over for ice cream cake the day after our anniversary and i can't wait til they see it! brendan said "they're all there. our big wacky family. all together. no one missing". except for nana who refused to join us for the photos because it was raining. and our new niece who is still a cooking. but it's a snapshot. a moment in time :)
as the days stumble by, i'll look to you.
the hockey game was kind of dull after the first 15 minutes, i chalk this up to the fact that tim thomas is simply too good of a goalie that it makes for boring hockey. however, i did manage to watch the whole thing from beginning to end. from the national anthems to the giant skating around holding the stanley cup like it was a tiny little trophy. i find it odd that vancouver fans started to riot after the loss. the damage is worse than the G20 riots which is shocking to me since the G20 protests were about something, about making a change, about demonstrating a desire for change and accountability. while hockey is an interesting past-time i can't see it worth rioting over. how silly. actually, it's silly for me to say it was about hockey, because when riots like that happen it's rarely about what originally caused it. it's simply about recklessness and adrenaline. sometimes i imagine how things would be different if people put their natural fighting instincts towards an important cause. i think people have a desire to be passionate about something. but in our comfortable country, where few people get a glimpse at how hard life is for the rest of the world, people can end up funneling their passions into things like sports. i suppose people in struggling countries do the same. maybe in both cases it's a form of escapism.
it's been almost a year since our wedding. all this time i've been planning on framing one of our family portraits (that includes both sides of our immediate families all together) and hanging it on the wall. yesterday we finally got around to it. the finished product is much bigger than i originally imagined, but it looks fantastic. it's a black and white photo in a large oval frame. it's great. a classic family portrait :) b and i both find ourselves staring at it, and half expecting everyone to start moving and talking to each other like in a harry potter photo. what an amazing keepsake. we're having our family over for ice cream cake the day after our anniversary and i can't wait til they see it! brendan said "they're all there. our big wacky family. all together. no one missing". except for nana who refused to join us for the photos because it was raining. and our new niece who is still a cooking. but it's a snapshot. a moment in time :)
as the days stumble by, i'll look to you.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
legend
the world is very small. i was talking to one of my colleagues today. he's from honduras originally and it turns out that his best friend (from honduras, who still lives there) recently met dave and esther at a dinner party or something. thru a number of strange coincidenes they figured out that they both knew people who work at BBD in kingston. so my colleague jason came to tell me that some friends of his friend knows me. isn't that funny?
watermelons are pretty consistently hit and miss. it's hard to know when you've got a good one. the first one i bought this season was impeccable. the second i got was under-ripen and tasteless. the third was over-ripe and kind of fermented. will i never win, i wonder!?!?!
i have to admit, i'm kind of excited about the hockey game tonight. maybe "excited" is not the right word, but i'm feeling anticipation. there's something special about events that have everyone watching and talking about. while i'm not a part of hockey culture, but i'm rather intrigued by it as a spectator, and i'm trying my best to catch on. unfortunately brendan sometimes chuckles at me when i say things like "how many minutes are in one inning" etc etc. it's not that i think they're called innings. i know they're called periods, but sometimes when i don't concenstrate the wrong word comes out. watching the stanley cup play offs is something i've neve done before :)
'cause waiting around can be tough on the soul.
watermelons are pretty consistently hit and miss. it's hard to know when you've got a good one. the first one i bought this season was impeccable. the second i got was under-ripen and tasteless. the third was over-ripe and kind of fermented. will i never win, i wonder!?!?!
i have to admit, i'm kind of excited about the hockey game tonight. maybe "excited" is not the right word, but i'm feeling anticipation. there's something special about events that have everyone watching and talking about. while i'm not a part of hockey culture, but i'm rather intrigued by it as a spectator, and i'm trying my best to catch on. unfortunately brendan sometimes chuckles at me when i say things like "how many minutes are in one inning" etc etc. it's not that i think they're called innings. i know they're called periods, but sometimes when i don't concenstrate the wrong word comes out. watching the stanley cup play offs is something i've neve done before :)
'cause waiting around can be tough on the soul.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
restoring
i watched a hockey game (at least part of it) for the first time EVER last night. this has less to do with my 'band, and more to do with my good friend bren. the melles's are quite contagious in their love for hockey. brendan has spent many significant hockey moments over at their place glued to the set. so when he casually said last evening "i think i'll watch the hockey game" i thought i'd join him. i was just sitting around knitting anyways. brendan found i talked too much, and by the end of the second period he turned the tv off because he was feeling too overly simulated by all the noise coming at him. i maintained hope until halfway thru the second period that vancouver would rally, by then i was confidently telling brendan that i was more certain that we would some day own a hybrid car than i was that the knucks were going to win that game.
it occured to me the other day that i don't own a white tank top. or at least i didn't and i felt a huge need to get one pronto. so i bought one on friday and i'm loving it. it's so versatile. why didn't i ever own one before!!?!?
losing weight (and gaining weight too for that matter) is very strange. i'm finding shirts and other clothing items are fitting slightly different very gradually. it's a very slow process. i was quite surprised to discover when buying my new white tank top that i'm a size small now. strange! i'm probably not a small for everything, but for some things i am. after i hit what felt like a weight-loss plateau i'm happy that i'm making progress once again. i've now actually lost 20 pounds. crazy huh? like really. i can see a big difference in my face. brendan doesn't see it, he said he never noticed it in my face. i did, that's where it bothered me the most.
the mojomobile is getting hot flashes. i hope it gets better soon! i'm super thankful that i have a buddy like frank to help me figure out the problem and enjoys doing so.
i'll keep you up when you're tired.
it occured to me the other day that i don't own a white tank top. or at least i didn't and i felt a huge need to get one pronto. so i bought one on friday and i'm loving it. it's so versatile. why didn't i ever own one before!!?!?
losing weight (and gaining weight too for that matter) is very strange. i'm finding shirts and other clothing items are fitting slightly different very gradually. it's a very slow process. i was quite surprised to discover when buying my new white tank top that i'm a size small now. strange! i'm probably not a small for everything, but for some things i am. after i hit what felt like a weight-loss plateau i'm happy that i'm making progress once again. i've now actually lost 20 pounds. crazy huh? like really. i can see a big difference in my face. brendan doesn't see it, he said he never noticed it in my face. i did, that's where it bothered me the most.
the mojomobile is getting hot flashes. i hope it gets better soon! i'm super thankful that i have a buddy like frank to help me figure out the problem and enjoys doing so.
i'll keep you up when you're tired.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
foosball
it's been a peaceful weekend. spent a lot of time between reading and knitting while listening to an audio book. i've cooked dinner a few times and brendan has praised my cooking which is always encouraging. i'm actually not as bad of a cook as i thought, i'm just not particularly creative and it's not an activity that i enjoy the way others do.
love is not a victory march,
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.
this afternoon bren and i went to a memorial service of an acquaintance from ktown. a friendly and kind-hearted guy who we often crossed paths with. the circumstances around his death are unsettling and tragic. but the service was a wonderful celebration of his life, and one full of love, appreciation, and forgiveness. i haven't attended many funerals of people that i felt did the person justice or reflected them, but this one did.
i'm feeling a bit solemn, quiet, reflective. not really sure what to do with myself for the rest of the evening. i guess that happens when a person has a lot of their mind.
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.
sling
our kitchen is a cozy small room with large patio doors opening out onto the balcony. in the summer we leave the sliding door open so the kitties can come and go from the balcony. on occasion when the weather is less lovely we leave it shut, which means that honey whines and paws at the door incessantly. the door is right beside the refrigerator, which makes for a very clear view into the centre of our daily life. for example, i waved hello to mike as the walked by the other night while i put a few things back into the fridge. "don't mind me" i said "just putting a few things into my refrigerator!". i enjoy the oddity of it all.
I used to live alone before I knew you.
a few evenings ago b and i sat at the table eating dinner while one of the kitties was enjoying the balcony. being such a small kitchen, the table is also right by the door. while we ate we both heard and saw two women on the sidewalk calling out to our cat. it was a little bit awkward since i was sitting right there, but i didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable about having a visit with my kitty. we were a little puzzled as to why they kept saying "isis, isis". the two were clearly mother-daughter, and the mother was an older chinese woman so i wondered if maybe "isis" was chinese for cat (although it didn't particularly sound chinese to me). the whole thing seemed innocent enough so we didn't really concern ourselves. the daughter soon called out to the mom "there's another one over there!" which seemed to add to some confusion. anyways, within seconds a neighbour walked past and i heard them say "are you helping look for isis? oh, it's ok he was found". it turns out there were posters of a missing cat named isis on hydro poles in the neighbourhood and the women somehow thought that OUR cat was isis. the creepy thing to me is that they thought we'd taken someone else's cat into our home. that's weird! why would we do that! to be fair, isis does bare a close resemblance to pekoe but still!
Thursday, June 09, 2011
i just read this online...
"In terms of the unemployed, of which we have over a million-and-a-half, I don't feel particularly bad for many of these people."
- Stephen Harper speaking in Montreal, 1997 (Sourced from Rebel Youth magazine, Fall-Winter Edition 2006)
I'm deeply disturbed. THIS is who we're trusting for job creation?
i think it's official... this man has no heart!
- Stephen Harper speaking in Montreal, 1997 (Sourced from Rebel Youth magazine, Fall-Winter Edition 2006)
I'm deeply disturbed. THIS is who we're trusting for job creation?
i think it's official... this man has no heart!
alpha male
i accidentally stabbed myself with our big chefs knife this morning when slicing watermelon. it isn't a deep or severe wound by any means but it's in a tender spot and i feel slightly admonished for my reckless nature.
perhaps it was due to the weather, or perhaps it was due to the time of year, but there were only 3 storytellers last evening. me, rach, and joanne, plus kelly who didn't write but hung out with us just the same. i led for the first time ever, which was fun - i selected activities from a book i read years ago. although i wrapped things up at my target time, the three of us (kelly had disappeared by then to do homework) sat chatting for quite a long time about our lives, our futures, our hopes. it was lovely, and inspiring too!
i've been thinking a lot about this whole task-oriented vs people-oriented personality thing and it's making so much of life make sense to me now. it's shedding light on different people i know and their behaviours. i feel like i understand and appreciate them in a whole new way. i've concluded that life is harder for task-oriented people. there's always a new task, another job, more duties to attend to. it's unceasing, that would be hard. i also feel that it unfortunately means that they miss out on some of the most richest and most meaningful experiences in life. my mom was given a cheesey plaque from one of her friends years ago that said "friends are the flowers in the garden of life". that's how i feel - people are what makes life beautiful. i wonder if sometimes task-oriented people are so busy maintaining the garden itself that they don't get to enjoy the flowers. i suppose if they are happy then that's what matters, but i find that it can make it hard for me to interact with them. i want to know them, i want to spend time with them, and connect with them. but they're busy in the garden and don't have time to talk.
for the first time in weeks, i didn't hit my alarm clock snooze button 6 times then arrive late for work. that's super satisfying.
perhaps it was due to the weather, or perhaps it was due to the time of year, but there were only 3 storytellers last evening. me, rach, and joanne, plus kelly who didn't write but hung out with us just the same. i led for the first time ever, which was fun - i selected activities from a book i read years ago. although i wrapped things up at my target time, the three of us (kelly had disappeared by then to do homework) sat chatting for quite a long time about our lives, our futures, our hopes. it was lovely, and inspiring too!
i've been thinking a lot about this whole task-oriented vs people-oriented personality thing and it's making so much of life make sense to me now. it's shedding light on different people i know and their behaviours. i feel like i understand and appreciate them in a whole new way. i've concluded that life is harder for task-oriented people. there's always a new task, another job, more duties to attend to. it's unceasing, that would be hard. i also feel that it unfortunately means that they miss out on some of the most richest and most meaningful experiences in life. my mom was given a cheesey plaque from one of her friends years ago that said "friends are the flowers in the garden of life". that's how i feel - people are what makes life beautiful. i wonder if sometimes task-oriented people are so busy maintaining the garden itself that they don't get to enjoy the flowers. i suppose if they are happy then that's what matters, but i find that it can make it hard for me to interact with them. i want to know them, i want to spend time with them, and connect with them. but they're busy in the garden and don't have time to talk.
for the first time in weeks, i didn't hit my alarm clock snooze button 6 times then arrive late for work. that's super satisfying.
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
blankets
it was announced yesterday that the place brendan works is closing in september and laying everyone off. good thing b was already planning on quiting in august!!!! the timing really worked out perfectly for him, and this also answers the question of whether or not he should try to stay on part-time in the fall - big ole no. i feel excited about this change and that it will open new possibilities for him (instead of just going back there again next summer). together we're going to figure out stepping stones towards the future goal of him finding work in the area of social services. there's a few student positions posted online at the moment at homebased housing which would be perfect for next summer (it's for 2nd year students), so he can try to position himself for one of those jobs next summer by possibly volunteering there and developing connections. i feel that volunteering is an important part of finding a job. i volunteered at a local newspaper for about six months which lead to me landing a job at another newspaper, then later i land my current job. volunteering kept me current, gave me on the job practice, and beefed up my resume. it will be interesting to see how the next few years unfold for brendan. it's exciting!
i've been doing some reading online about personality types, and have discovered that being relationship-oriented or task-oriented affects our temperment just as much as being introverted or extroverted. another light bulb in my head has clicked on. sometimes i feels like learning and understanding is like opening one door after another (kind of like the 'get smart' intro).
we went to a potluck downstairs last night with brendan's highschool friends. it's a totally different culture to what i've grown accustomed to. they're a bunch of young, single, students/recent grads, still very green with no inkling about what their futures will be like. i used to find it hard to be around them because of the sheer lack of life experience, but it's getting better. i complained to brendan beforehand that they don't really talk to me, and he said that it's probably because i'm much older than them and they don't understand why he married a 30 something. they don't know people in their 30s much less hangout with them. it went a bit better. i think they're starting to get to know me and are discovering that i've done some interesting things with my 9 extra years. it can be tricky socially having a wide age gap, but i basically add our ages and divide the difference. we're collectively 26.5 years old. still older than his peers, but not nearly as foreign to them.
i've been doing some reading online about personality types, and have discovered that being relationship-oriented or task-oriented affects our temperment just as much as being introverted or extroverted. another light bulb in my head has clicked on. sometimes i feels like learning and understanding is like opening one door after another (kind of like the 'get smart' intro).
we went to a potluck downstairs last night with brendan's highschool friends. it's a totally different culture to what i've grown accustomed to. they're a bunch of young, single, students/recent grads, still very green with no inkling about what their futures will be like. i used to find it hard to be around them because of the sheer lack of life experience, but it's getting better. i complained to brendan beforehand that they don't really talk to me, and he said that it's probably because i'm much older than them and they don't understand why he married a 30 something. they don't know people in their 30s much less hangout with them. it went a bit better. i think they're starting to get to know me and are discovering that i've done some interesting things with my 9 extra years. it can be tricky socially having a wide age gap, but i basically add our ages and divide the difference. we're collectively 26.5 years old. still older than his peers, but not nearly as foreign to them.
to know what to say.
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
sunflower
i sat in a room with acquaintences who are still mostly strangers. as talk went back and forth across the big table one person mentions the genderless baby. the timing was ironic since just yesterday i was telling brendan how tired i am of the subject and that i wish it wasn't such a big deal. the man made some jabby comments, and it quickly became apparent that i was the only one there who knew what he was talking about. while my opinion on the topic leans more towards indifference i felt a need to correct him on his misconceptions. he and i bantered back and forth while the rest of the group quickly lost interest. a few minutes after the topic was dismissed the girl closest to me whispered "how do you raise a gender-neutral baby?" so i explained the intensions of the parent and she said "well that's not a big deal", i agreed.
this encounter left me struck in an unexpected way. here i was in a room with my peers and it appeared that none of them listened to or read the news. that revealed much more to me than their disinterest in the topic of gender identity. i wonder what this says about my generation. i wonder what this says about the state of the majority of canadians. i wonder how much this influences our social behaviour, and how much it impacts our political direction. people are uninformed. folks with good jobs and careers who have full access to the media and information. is this new? have a portion of the population always lived with their heads in the sand?
i guess i've always taken forgranted that the people in my life are both intelligent and informed. my community is engaged and aware. it's good to awaken to the fact that that is not necessarily the norm. it's weird to me that there are people all over the world who know about the genderless baby and yet co-citizens of said baby do not. what a weird world we live in. i think it's good practise to even just skim the news.
THINGS I LEARNED FROM SKIMMING THE NEWS THIS WEEK:
- there is an e-coli outbreak in europe
- some important guy is being accused of sexual assault
- that someone hacked harper's website and posted a story saying he died eating breakfast
- that china and google are not getting along
- that justin bieber's girlfriend announced that she's happy
this encounter left me struck in an unexpected way. here i was in a room with my peers and it appeared that none of them listened to or read the news. that revealed much more to me than their disinterest in the topic of gender identity. i wonder what this says about my generation. i wonder what this says about the state of the majority of canadians. i wonder how much this influences our social behaviour, and how much it impacts our political direction. people are uninformed. folks with good jobs and careers who have full access to the media and information. is this new? have a portion of the population always lived with their heads in the sand?
i guess i've always taken forgranted that the people in my life are both intelligent and informed. my community is engaged and aware. it's good to awaken to the fact that that is not necessarily the norm. it's weird to me that there are people all over the world who know about the genderless baby and yet co-citizens of said baby do not. what a weird world we live in. i think it's good practise to even just skim the news.
THINGS I LEARNED FROM SKIMMING THE NEWS THIS WEEK:
- there is an e-coli outbreak in europe
- some important guy is being accused of sexual assault
- that someone hacked harper's website and posted a story saying he died eating breakfast
- that china and google are not getting along
- that justin bieber's girlfriend announced that she's happy
- that a photo of an ontario mpp's genitals were posted online
- that a woman falsely accused of killer her son has been acquitted
- a volcano erupted in chile
i could go on and on. even without reading the articles i'm tuned in to what's happening in the world.
i actually read an article online yesterday about known knowns and unknown unknowns vs known unknowns. kk's and ukuk's don't worry people. it's the known unknowns that they lose sleep over. i think for the people who have been upset about the genderless baby... it's an known unknown. they don't understand it and that's unsettling. for the people who've never heard of it... it's an unknown unknown, so they couldn't care less.
i prefer knowing. even when i can't understand or change anything. for me i love because i care to know. i care because i want to know love. and i know because i care and love. those are all connected, just like all of us.
if i could change the world i'd want for everyone to give a rat's ass.
- that a woman falsely accused of killer her son has been acquitted
- a volcano erupted in chile
i could go on and on. even without reading the articles i'm tuned in to what's happening in the world.
i actually read an article online yesterday about known knowns and unknown unknowns vs known unknowns. kk's and ukuk's don't worry people. it's the known unknowns that they lose sleep over. i think for the people who have been upset about the genderless baby... it's an known unknown. they don't understand it and that's unsettling. for the people who've never heard of it... it's an unknown unknown, so they couldn't care less.
i prefer knowing. even when i can't understand or change anything. for me i love because i care to know. i care because i want to know love. and i know because i care and love. those are all connected, just like all of us.
if i could change the world i'd want for everyone to give a rat's ass.
Monday, June 06, 2011
dixie cup
tickle tickle in my throat. man, that's the worst!
jewelery, shoes, bed sheets, towels, an extra sleeping bag, clothes that no longer fit. i dug thru my closets, cupboards and drawers yesterday collecting no longer used items to share with people who may need them. i was surprised how invigorating it was find things to give away that someone else may really enjoy and appreciate. i know the fun of accepting free things that people no longer need, and i look forward to other people discovering treasures that will delight them as well. i hope i can find the right time and place to set up a display of free things. if not i may just get some tarps and lay everything out in the park like shannon did at her jubilee.
we crashed a wedding then hit the library in our fancy clothes. shanno and me, we were sans husbands for the afternoon, giggling at guys who were trying to impress two married girls.
jewelery, shoes, bed sheets, towels, an extra sleeping bag, clothes that no longer fit. i dug thru my closets, cupboards and drawers yesterday collecting no longer used items to share with people who may need them. i was surprised how invigorating it was find things to give away that someone else may really enjoy and appreciate. i know the fun of accepting free things that people no longer need, and i look forward to other people discovering treasures that will delight them as well. i hope i can find the right time and place to set up a display of free things. if not i may just get some tarps and lay everything out in the park like shannon did at her jubilee.
we crashed a wedding then hit the library in our fancy clothes. shanno and me, we were sans husbands for the afternoon, giggling at guys who were trying to impress two married girls.
scott pilgrim vs the world is a very entertaining movie.
i'm not sore today! i'm surprisingly not sore after my first bike ride of the season. i filled the tires of my old tank of a bike and headed off down the street. it never ceases to amaze me at how true the statement "just like riding a bike is". i don't lose my ability to ride with no hands just because it's been a while. i don't really understand the mechanics of that.
if you hate, die and kill for love.
Friday, June 03, 2011
vowel
i've been thinking a lot in recent months about money management. i was once told that spending time thinking of money means that you are enslaved to it. and while i think money is something we need to be careful with (since it's addictive), i don't believe it controls me. actually to the contrary i feel that money management is actually part of my skill-set. anyways, since i'm a big fan of the show "til debt do us part", i've been exposed to a different approach to use of money in terms of the future. this different perspective didn't quite fit with my world view and it caused me to wrestle to figure out how prudence and faith mix. i want to live generously, and i want to travel/explore, and i want to save responsibly. so what do i do?? but now after many months of wondering both in my head and outloud, i've discovered the middle ground. i don't need to have a fortune. i don't need to have nothing. i simply need to have enough. i don't need a big empty home, or a small one room apartment. i need simply enough space. i don't need lots of clothes, or only one set, i need enough clothes. enough food. enough shoes. enough adventure. enough rest. so then the question is... what is enough? how do we know when we have enough? for me that's the point when i can get by well without more. and truth be told, there are many things that i have more than enough of, so i'm going to downsize. declutter. i'm going to aim to not bring more into my life without letting go of something else. shoes in... shoes out. towels in... towels out. digital camera in... digital camera out. it's not so much that having things is wrong, it's the hording when i could choose to be generous and give freely to people who are without enough.
have you ever had the experience when you get an email from a friend that is less than 20 words long, and although neither of you have said it specifically you know that your friendship is over? i know that friends come and go as life changes and we all have different experiences, but it makes me sad because i loved him so. in contrast to that, i got home from book club last night feeling so thankful for friendships that are meaningful and deep. i have a plethora of great and wonderful friends. i'm very lucky. thanks girls for listening and encouraging me to keep on keeping on!
after 4 years of excellent service... my baking stone broke. it was in the oven, cooking dinner, and snapped in half! i've never heard of that before! and funnily enough... the pizza stone we've been using instead shattered this week too! bizarre. apparently our kitchen is taking revenge on our stoneware. in the case of the pizza stone, b unwittingly placed it on a burner that was on and it basically exploded.
if i had an orchard i'd work til i'm sore.
have you ever had the experience when you get an email from a friend that is less than 20 words long, and although neither of you have said it specifically you know that your friendship is over? i know that friends come and go as life changes and we all have different experiences, but it makes me sad because i loved him so. in contrast to that, i got home from book club last night feeling so thankful for friendships that are meaningful and deep. i have a plethora of great and wonderful friends. i'm very lucky. thanks girls for listening and encouraging me to keep on keeping on!
after 4 years of excellent service... my baking stone broke. it was in the oven, cooking dinner, and snapped in half! i've never heard of that before! and funnily enough... the pizza stone we've been using instead shattered this week too! bizarre. apparently our kitchen is taking revenge on our stoneware. in the case of the pizza stone, b unwittingly placed it on a burner that was on and it basically exploded.
if i had an orchard i'd work til i'm sore.
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
verify
last night i had a grilled cheese sandwich on rye, with grated cheese and arugala. it was so delicious. b and i have started to experiment with grilled cheese sandwiches, so far i'm already very satisfied.
it's officially summer in the maxipad. last night we put away our duvet and got out the bedspread that we bought in cambodia last summer. lovely.
i've been thinking about culture in the context of marriage. any environment (school, work, church, friends, housemates, neighbourhoods, camps, even family) have some kind of distinct culture. so it stands to reason that a marriage or long-term committed partnership is bound to have a culture as well, even if on a smaller less obvious scale. studies have shown that your partner's eating habits affect your own eating habits - being overweight is "contagious" for example. i've also heard it said that a person's ambition is often influenced by one's partner. i've commented before that i've become more introverted since beginning my relationship with brendan, and perhaps that's in part the result of being in a relationship with an introvert. maybe our marriage has an introverted culture. brendan is very comfortable and at ease being at home, watching movies or reading. since i also like those things, i join him in his activities. i also mingle less in crowds than i used to.
it's officially summer in the maxipad. last night we put away our duvet and got out the bedspread that we bought in cambodia last summer. lovely.
i've been thinking about culture in the context of marriage. any environment (school, work, church, friends, housemates, neighbourhoods, camps, even family) have some kind of distinct culture. so it stands to reason that a marriage or long-term committed partnership is bound to have a culture as well, even if on a smaller less obvious scale. studies have shown that your partner's eating habits affect your own eating habits - being overweight is "contagious" for example. i've also heard it said that a person's ambition is often influenced by one's partner. i've commented before that i've become more introverted since beginning my relationship with brendan, and perhaps that's in part the result of being in a relationship with an introvert. maybe our marriage has an introverted culture. brendan is very comfortable and at ease being at home, watching movies or reading. since i also like those things, i join him in his activities. i also mingle less in crowds than i used to.
anyways, i got thinking about this in regards to social skills. i've known many couples in my day who seem equally socially awkward. i always thought that was the result of two awkward people being drawn to one another, but i'm starting to wonder if it's the result of their culture. if your partner has great social skills, is alert to social cues, is very eloquent and graceful in his or her interactions, comfortable and at ease with conversation, you're bound to be influenced by that in a positive way. but i'm awakening to the fact that poor social skills are also influential, and people i once found to be very skillful socially may have become less so if their partner does not have the same skill set. recently i made several attempts to share with someone about an experience that was important and meaningful to me. i did not receive a response, and when i was contacted on another matter, there was still no mention of the news i'd shared. my experience and feelings were completely glossed over. at first i felt disappointed and hurt, then i felt angry and rejected, but since then i'm starting to wonder if the person just doesn't have the social skills to reciprocate in a customary manner. maybe it's cultural. it's my custom to respond in kind, but i suppose not everyone has that custom.
i ate an entire bag of doritos cool ranch chips in two days this past weekend. i justified it with the fact that i didn't eat any dinner on either saturday or sunday, but i know that it's still bad practice. chips are a treat not a meal. tsk tsk lesley. tsk tsk. since i haven't been going to goodlife lately (i've been trying to be out walking more often) my weight loss is less drastic but still progressing. i can now take off my work pants without undoing them, and am fitting into smaller clothes. excellent!
plug it in and change the world.
i ate an entire bag of doritos cool ranch chips in two days this past weekend. i justified it with the fact that i didn't eat any dinner on either saturday or sunday, but i know that it's still bad practice. chips are a treat not a meal. tsk tsk lesley. tsk tsk. since i haven't been going to goodlife lately (i've been trying to be out walking more often) my weight loss is less drastic but still progressing. i can now take off my work pants without undoing them, and am fitting into smaller clothes. excellent!
plug it in and change the world.
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