fourth of july

i learned a valuable lesson tonight. anything i put on my blog may come back to bite me in the ass.

tonight i went to Nick Wolfe Brown's new job celebration and April let out of the bag that i have a blog. this immediately makes me panic and when i got home had to rush to my computer to delete anything inappropriate before they all go home and locate pspd. this has made me very aware that i shouldn't write anything that i wouldn't want to get back to someone. what a profound lesson. this makes me want to reconsider whether i should share "certain stories". frig, this is my blog i should get to write whatever i want!! i don't want to edit myself. oh wait, i've already set up a some guidelines for myself haven't i? well i guess this is #5 - be very selective about what i say about work. #6 be selective about who gets access to the address.

so to my horror of horrors i bumped into Laurie Lockerbie at the Y tonight. of all the women i wouldn't want to see at the Y I'd have to say she'd be my first choice. the gym is my safe haven where i don't have to talk to anyone. its like CHEERS but only the opposite "nobody knows my name". i spotted her on the treadmill right beside the door and tried, but failed, to keep a straight face. i hope she didn't see me laughing. there i was on the eliptical, knowing i only have a few minutes left, praying "OH LORD GOD!!! HOW CAN I GET OUT OF HERE WITHOUT HER SEEING ME!!??!!" but alas, there's no other way, so i held my breathe and walked past her pretending i was really into my water, and very interested in who was in the opposite direction from her. yes, i realize jason and i broke up 6 years ago. but Laurie and I have a past that started way before i dated her son. seriously, she's the worst of exboyfriend's-moms to bump into. but i don't want to talk to her about how Jay is doing, or Brett and the boys. I don't want to talk about why she left Bayridge. or about her new job at Bethel. but most of all, i don't want her to see me naked in the change room!!! what a horrifying thought. of crap, this is breaking rule #2 and rule #5 (sort of - its more the premiss of not saying things you wouldn't want the person to find out). why did i even bother making rules in the first place!!! maybe i did it just so i could break them. i do delight in doing what i'm not supposed to do.... hmmm. talk about reverse psycology in the bizarriest form...

i feel confused.