lookout

i sat on my balcony in the pouring rain. i was curled up in my camper chair, away from the wet. the sound on the awning above me was heavenly. the rain was heavy as lightening struck directly north of me, followed by it's corresponding thunder. it was beautiful. the whole time the sun shone strongly and boldly to my left. very beautiful.

in one week from now jill and i will be in miami getting ready to board a plane to south america. that makes me smile.

my mom and i went to the buskers this afternoon. i found that odd seeing as one of my two mom-related buskers memories is her saying she hates the buskers, and that she feels like it's evil. my other memory involves me dropping my ice cream cone on the ground. apparently her feeling about the buskers has changed, and as far as i'm concerned, this more tempered opinion of the buskers is more appropriate. anyways, there was one act where this guy had to catch this other guy while he fell head first towards the pavement before he hit ground. it was impressive, but what really struck me is that they made two attempts at it. the first time the altered it so he landed on his feet, the second time he fell head first as planned and the other guy caught him. i was quite amazed to see that the catcher was indeed truly afraid. which is legitimate – his friend would've been paralyzed or possibly killed. i like getting glimpses of people's humanity.

only God knows i'm trying my best,
but i'm just so tired of this loneliness.