metamorphosis

in a week we will be on vacation. being so close to holidays makes me worn, eager and anxious to take leave. i dreamt last week that i faked my own dealth so brendan and i could temporarily escape our reality and take a road trip. in the end we decided on driving down to niagara falls, but were ultimately found out and didn't get to go. it was an unsettling dream actually. one in a series of odd and unsettling dreams.

i'm finding that negativity tastes badly in my mouth these days, or rather my ears. i'm quite affected by negativity, it seeps into me and i can't shake it. it affects so much, because it's a perspective thing. two people can look at the same thing and one person can see something awful and the other can see something redemptive. i can't change other people's perspective, but i want to filter out negativity and speak out affirmation. there is always something worthwhile in everyone. *sigh* i think the key is to seek understanding. and when that fails... then to holding ones tongue.

this weekend, for the first time ever... i bought an album from itunes :D very exciting! bren teases me since i'm so old fashion, but i really like having cds! i listen to them at work on repeat til i'm ready to move on. but i concluded that i could burn it onto a cd. good compromise. anyways, so for my first album download i close mumford & sons. i've been wanting that album for a while. we sing many of those songs at next, so they hold some significance for me.

i struggle to find any truth in your lies.