orange

when i was little. my family 'trick or treated' like regular kids. when i got to be around 6 my parents had done a lot of learning about the origins of halloween and didn't want us to partake in the ritual. they tried their best to keep us entertained and gave us treats. thankfully it was my sister's birthday so we had something to distract us and celebrate instead. now that we're adults my parents no longer see any harm in 'trick or treating'. which is good, i'm glad they've changed their minds. i don't resent missing out on that childhood experience, because at the time i fully agreed with them. in fact, i would sometimes try to convince my friends that they should also abstain. looking back though, or maybe it's not looking back, maybe it's more being an adult and more exposed to the tradition, i see more of what i missed out on and it makes me a little sad. i'm not resentful or disappointed, it's just unfortunate that it's so foreign to me. i feel a little stunted in this area. thankfully someday, b and i will have little lorimerettes who we'll take door to door and with them i'll be able to carve out a new story. that's nice. i like that we're always making and remaking ourselves and our stories. it's never too late.

in the meantime, we get to participate in the halloween harvest - a food drive for the partners in mission food bank. it's always a little awkward going door to door asking for food but it's also delightful because we get to see the warmest and most generous side of people. they're already opening their doors to strangers and giving away things for free, so they're happy to give non-perishable food items as well. it's actually exciting to see how quickly the bags and cars fill up. this is a food drive that's been taking place for 16 years in kingston, and it helps keeps the food bank stocked til the christmas influx.

all i know is what i have words for.