slow jam

oddly, i'm discovering lately that i'm a person heavily reliant on expectations. that sounds weird. what i mean is that i get super thrown off if when reality is different than what i expected. my sister used to say that i'm not a flexible person, while that's not quite accurate i can understand where she gets that from. i had a bit of a meltdown a couple weeks ago when i arrived home to find that brendan had done work around the house in a different order than i had expected. (WHAT!?!? WHAT?!?! THIS IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED!) and it's weird, because there's nothing wrong with the change of plans, and there's nothing essential to how i expected things to play out, but it's super hard for me to adjust. at first, i think b thought i was just making a big deal out of nothing, but i think he's starting to get it. this is how i'm wired. on occassion i'll find myself in a situation where things are better than i expected, which i like - so it's not that i'm unflexible. there's just part of me that relies on expectations the way other people rely on consistancy. the only solution i can think of is to try to hold my expectations loosely so that i don't rely on them so much. but at the same time, i get a sense of security of knowing this is this, and that is that, and never the two shall meet. i dunno, maybe this doesn't require a solution at all.

i'm super proud of brendan. yesterday he finished this first year of college. he's now officially 50% finished. and he passed with flying colours. i have him a pack of 5 pabst beers. why five you ask? well i needed one myself. it's a little tradition of shanno and mine to have a pabst beer after a papsmear. it's handy that my doctor's office is across the street from the beer store. i got carded :)

i could really go for a tomato and artichoke salad right now. oh man. yum.

sometimes following knitting/crochetting patterns just doesn't work.

we were light and paper thin.